At war with myself.

[Jimbo92]

Aup, everyone.

Just a post about my current situation with alcohol.

I’ve never been a weekday drinker, the thought never even crosses my mind after work. However , the weekend comes and all I can think about is getting down to the pub and sinking a few or 10!

I want to get out of binge drinking. I’m 28 in March, so I’m still a pup. The hangovers seem tocget worse and the regret even more so everytime I go out. I’ve often pondered giving up for good but to no avail. I do consider it to be a problem as I can’t stop, once I’ve had the first two! I’m out all night.

My problem is that all my friends are binge drinkers. My girlfriend likes a drink too, we’ve moderated it to some extent on weekends and I’ve even done sober months etc. However I want to stop altogether. Again the problem is nearly everyone around me is a drinker and it’s the stigma and fear of not being involved in things, if I were to become sober. It’s just so difficult.

What does everyone else think? And what are your experience, tips etc.

Cheers!

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

AA works for me. Here is a link to some online meetings.

aa-intergroup.org/oiaa/meet...

[Jampacked]

Apparently a third of people under 25 years old don't drink alcohol at all. I think you are just ahead of the curve. You already know alcohol is not for you. This is wisdom, dont drink for anybody else ( I absolutely know this isnt easy). It's a proper lifestyle change and you may loose contact with some people who encourage you to drink. I had to change my social group its not easy. FOMO is a problem, but to be real,drinking is a half life and can lead to no life at all. Life opens up without drink concerts, hobbies, sports, studying, you will have more time and more money. Might help to make some changes, join the gym, park run, volunteering, studying, travelling you will meet different people it will get easier. Maybe get support from online AA at weekends.

[SoberDrunk1]

Being around drinkers initially is a difficult thing to consider. But it can be done. We need to stay stopped for our own self. Its our health that is being impacted. Working the 12 steps of AA I have been around drinkers. I in fact travelled last 10 days been through various airports and lounges. Saw people having drinks for breakfast. My wife reminded me that I did that in my glory days (LOL). I was able to be comfortable and not affected by that. Its one of the promises of the 12 steps. That we will be placed in a position of neutrality. Just have to work on being spiritually fit.

[Sandpiper14]

I feel the same. I’m 23 and in the majority of occasions where I meet with friends it’s at the pub/bar and it involves drinking. We don’t really socialise any other way which is a shame. That being said you can definitely go out and enjoy yourself without drinking.

If you think about it the best part of the nights are the bits you can remember, when everyone is relatively sober. After that it’s all a blurry mess anyway and most people are unlikely to remember large parts of it, you’ve wasted money and you suffer the hangover, your friends will be drunk so won’t even notice you’re not drinking at that point!

If you don’t want to drink plan something for the next day- a run/ the gym/ meeting with the family! It’s shit that we feel we have to have an excuse not to drink but I know that’s the reality for a lot of people, I feel anxious about it myself. But you can also open up to your mates and say listen the alcohol isn’t working for me right now I’m testing this out (not drinking) and if they’re really your mates they’ll understand!

Non-alcoholic alternatives can be a soda and lime or a ginger beer (helps that they look like they could be alcohol and a mixer so no questions asked)

Hope this helps!

[Jimbo92 in reply to Sandpiper14]

Yeah that’s my dilemma this weekend. Booked a dayer with my mates the other month and it’s come to the week and I just cba🤣 I am an active person anyway, I used to box, I go to the gym etc so finding stuff to do isn’t the problem it’s after that. I can go to the gym but it’s a Saturday and I’ve got nothing else to do, that’s my problem. If I’ve got a trip booked or an event it’s sound but otherwise I sit in the house dreadfully bored!

[Sandpiper14 in reply to Jimbo92]

My friends are doing the same on the weekend and I’ve decided not to go, I’m going to meet up with another friend and have a night in. There will be others who would rather have the weekend off drinking! Make a plan with your girlfriend and go to the cinemas or something? If you tell her how you feel about the situation I’m sure she’ll want to keep you company.

[HeavyFoot]

It’s a difficult one because you probably chose your social circle, even perhaps your partner, on a shared interest in alcohol. Birds of a feather. Cutting yourself off from that circle is difficult. We are social animals.

There are a lot of very good alcohol-free beers available. A tonic water can look like a gin and tonic. If necessary, tell people you’re on antibiotics. Reduce your pub visits and cultivate other interests - there’s a whole world of stuff you can do when not avoiding drink-driving. Be prepared for sarky comments. Your not drinking makes other habitual drinkers uncomfortable. And remember that any friends who try to push you to drink are not true friends.

Good luck.

[Jimbo92 in reply to HeavyFoot]

They were quite supportive during one sober October I did, last year. However I don’t know how full time sobriety would affect them. Again it’s the societal pressure to drink isn’t it, everyone’s brainwashed into thinking it’s some magic elixir of life and if you don’t have it, you’re strange and an outcast. My girlfriend isn’t anywhere near them though, she’ll have a few on the weekend if she feels like it, sometimes doesn’t. It’s mainly my social group that are part of my struggle

[DicCarlson]

Be the hero! Throw off that heavy wet blanket of booze that is TOTALLY suffocating your potential! Need help watch this...

youtube.com/watch?v=6EghiY_...(Not working as expected?)

[Elemis]

Please stick to your guns,you’ll find when you stop or minimise your alcohol intake people around you will change ,either by considering their own habits or you might end up dropping a few friends.Having a clear head which isn’t pounding after a hangover really helps you see things in a different light and you’ll discover a new you. Sometimes drinking loads is boring .You can still enjoy life and have fun without indulging in alcohol.Look after your health and don’t try to fit in and please other people,stick to your guns.👍

[Jimbo92 in reply to Elemis]

I was meant to go out day drinking tomorrow. I cancelled it and I’m now going out to do something else. Pretty glad and impressed that I’ve managed to fob a boozy weekend off

[Jimbo92]

Thank you for your input. I managed to stay in this weekend and I cancelled a dayer I had planned. So mission accomplished for now.

It’s a tricky one. I don’t desire alcohol or even think about it during the week, while I’m working. It’s only when I get home on that Friday that I feel like I want a pint or few.