I’ve posted here and replied a few times before as you know. I just thought I’d give an insight into the experiences I’ve had with alcohol.
As a child I grew up around alcohol abuse. Both my parents were chronic alcoholics and chain smokers. They fought constantly and violently. It controlled their entire lives. We never had any money, I didn’t have things that other kids take for granted; big holidays, new clothes, family days out/meals, birthday party’s etc the list goes on. Most of my memories are of my mother coming to pick us up from school drunk, often quite blatantly and it was horrendous and embarrassing.
My father eventually succumbed to the illness in 2005, when I was only 9-10 years old. We were living with my mother at the time as she’d previously escaped the toxic relationship and was coping as a single parent. Unfortunately, her addiction sadly followed. We tried and tried as children to make her stop and convince her. But it was almost as if she was controlled by another force or some kind of dark magic..the magic being the demon drink. She’d spend her last £5 on a packet of cigarettes and a cheap bottle of cider or wine whilst we had no electric or heating for days. To say we struggled was an understatement. Ultimately like my father, she also passed in 2009.
I’ve seen it all. The destruction that alcohol causes and how many childhoods and lives it’s taken away. And that’s why recently in the past years I’ve tried to focus on my fitness and other hobbies and to stop going out every weekend. I’m still young and I want to live a life without beer goggles.
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Jimbo92
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Knowledge alone doesn’t keep me from drinking. Growing up I, too, saw what alcoholism could do. I decided that wasn’t going to happen to me. But it did.
I use the 12 Steps of AA to stay sober a day at a time. Check out aa.org
Jimbo you are an inspiration to us all ! You have made a stand to stop alcohol controlling generation after generation. Growing up around alcohol abuse kind of normalises it despite seeing its harm. My ex followed his parents into alcoholism and has now died as a result. I was so surprised when I analysed my drinking on the Try Dry app. I thought I was moderating excellently but it concluded 70% of the population drank less than this. As someone mentioned 'birds of a feather flock together' . I think your new hobbies are such a good idea. I think it will be important to surround your self with people and experiences that don't involve alcohol. I had to move for work. It was a kind of running away which isn't good but it gave me a golden opportunity to do this. Its harder in situ but can be done. Goodbye Beer Googles! Keep at it!
Wow - not sure how to respond, but it generated a lot of flashbacks for me with a similar dysfunctional upbringing. Simply said your experiences can generate PTSD. I'm no psychologist - but I see great promise in the technique called "Havening" - aimed mostly at phobias, and trauma but also at addictions. You can't change what happened to you - but you can certainly change how you respond to the trauma and the memories.
I saw Dad a couple of times a month if I was lucky. He was always at the pub. Some horrible memories of him hurting my mother which I don’t think il ever recover from. I must have been so young at the time but the memories are burned into my brain. Fortunately, my father entered complete sobriety nearly four years ago. I’ve forgiven him.
Mum, a little less obvious to everyone else but behind closed doors oh my!! Yes I too share the memories of her collecting me drunk. Or walking home from school at 3pm to her drunk, she’d scream, she’d moan, she’d pass out on the kitchen floor. I know now as an adult, the local authority should have been involved. Mum still battles with her addiction but she’s completely blind to it which still breaks my heart because everytime she drinks even now, I feel like she’s chose the booze over me I’ve learnt to forgive my Mum for some of my childhood but I know for sure il never raise a child the same way.
Alcohol has been the source of everything bad that’s happened in my life. Mistakes I’ve made and things I’ve witnessed.
Trying to curtail my intake now, would actually love to be completely t total but when saying no to alcohol, I can’t quite say all of the above, and without that people don’t have understand.
We’re not our parents and we’re both still young. We have all the power to break away and invent our lives how we want to.
Oh yeah. Alcohol can be a great thing if it’s drank in moderation at social events or enjoyed as something on a rare occasion. However majority of people aren’t in control of it, it’s a drug at the end of the day. I know people that can have 1-2 and go home and not drink again for weeks or months. Like every lad and young person, I started when I was 17-18 going to the pub with older lads and mates and it’s only now I’m nearly 30 that the novelty is wearing off and I’m beginning to hate it. Waking up every Sunday morning, no money, a banging headache and feeling like dog crap all day.
Again it’s a societal pressure and media brainwashing. It’s on tv, it’s in music. You’re seen as strange if you don’t partake in it. Getting blind drunk and being able to hold your booze is a bragging right when in reality it’s a sad sign of descent further into the problem!I think it’s extremely tough to become teetotal and a lot of relapses might happen, changing social groups etc.
wish you good luck on your journey though, I’m getting there too.
I do believe that we will see a cultural shift within the next 5/10 years away from alcohol. So many more people are sober curious today, many influencers have gone t total and people are loving the AF life. It’s hard to ignore the health benefits, and as the health conscious generation we are, I do think more and more people will adopt the lifestyle and saying no will become the norm! Well here’s hoping anyway.
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I’ve learnt to forgive my Mum for some of my childhood but I know for sure il never raise a child the same way. 
Hello, this is my story :)
reflection since New Year’s Day 
I'm not in control!
