Sober October

[Spinnermcspinny]

Hi all. I’m 39, mum of 2 small boys, and embarking on sober October. I don’t consider myself an alcoholic but my drinking is getting heavier and I’m finding I can’t stop at one any more. I just went to my first work party sober and it was hell. I felt really awkward and anxious without a drink. Does anyone have any tips? I felt like an alien!

[SoberDrunk1]

Welcome to the forum. Wondering what is your idea of being an Alcoholic? The book Alcoholics Anonymous has some description of an Alcoholic.

a) Being miserable while not drinking.

b) Inability to stay stopped when we really need to. Having peculiar mental thoughts about taking a drink or being obsessively thinking about it or just not thinking about consequences of taking a drink.

c) Physical craving after we consuming 1/2 drinks unable to stop at 1/2 drinks that we originally planned.

When I came into the rooms I too had different ideas about alcoholism. I am not the guy who has lost the house and now living under the bridge or the pan-handler at the gas stations......havent had a DUI/havent had a car wreck.....

[fauxartist in reply to SoberDrunk1]

Thanks for posting that, and funny to me that people coming on a site about drinking would worry about the 'Stigma' of calling themselves an alcoholic. Even on the mental health groups here, it's easier to say they have depression than being able to say they are an alcoholic. Until that stigma of the label 'alcoholic', and society gets over itself and realizes that 1 in 10 have something, whether it's drugs, alcohol, or mental health....who cares anymore. We are all dealing with something.

At least I feel vindicated telling someone to be okay coming to terms with their alcohol addiction on an anonymous site, because it's kind of an oxymoron to worry about admitting to yourself you are an alcoholic...when nobody knows who you are here. And one thing in sobriety is being 'brutally honest' with yourself. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, this is you life and your choice. You either are or you aren't. , like the old joke: 'You can't just be kinda pregnant'.

[YNWA68]

Hi,

I have issues with alcohol too. If I have one glass of wine usually ends up with 2 bottles followed by anxiety and self loathing and then I begin to spiral.

I can sustain long periods without alcohol and i do sober October each year and last year I carried into November. It’s a really good way to focus the mind. I’ve done it on previous year to raise money for charity have you considered this? It’s a great insensitive and keeps you accountable.

Nights out I try to tailor to what I know I can cope with and steer clear of the ones where I know I won’t feel comfortable. certain social occasions are more difficult than others.

All the best for your AF journey through October.

I find this group very helpful, just knowing they are all out there helps and they all have many words of wisdom and support

🤗

[Thunderstorm8]

I am also embarking upon sobriety as my habits have become heavier and I'm not enjoying my tempers or need for alcohol. I am doing sober October. I also have downloaded an app called drink free days nhs. It helps monitor your progress and alerts you of how much money you have saved and health benefits.

Well done on attending a gathering with no alcohol. I am confident the more you attend the easier you will become yourself.

I have tried giving up in the past and I wasn't successful, perhaps this time I am more serious hence why I have looked for apps and chat groups to help me.

We can do this. I am a mother of two daughters 12 and 13. I am a nurse and it often shames me my drinking habits.

[Magicsack]

Hi Spinner,

First of all, I wish you luck on your journey through October. This could be a real chance at sobriety for you.

I totally get the feelings you mention, especially the anxiety. For me, I couldn't actually go a day without having one drink, back in the day. Going to parties was just another excuse to have another drink. They say you wouldn't go to a barbers, without wanting a haircut. Same feeling for alcohol and bars etc.

I don't know your story, but from what you've mentioned, it seems as though you have some form of relationship with alcohol. Alcoholism is a progressive illness, and slowly but surely it can grip you. Fortunately you seem aware to this, which is great!

No one can really tell you you are an alcoholic, and I certainly am not assuming this. I was once told: "it doesn't matter how much you drink, when you drink, who you drink with, what you drink - its what it does to the head!" That made me think.

It gets easier, one day at a time.

Good luck

[Spinnermcspinny]

Thanks everyone for your support. I’ve always been very sociable and enjoyed a drink with friends as well as at home with my husband, especially after the work week. But in the last few months I’ve noticed that I’m drinking more and it’s affecting my mood and making me anxious, even when I’m not drinking. I have 2 gorgeous little boys and I want to be present and enjoy them - not constantly tired and anxious because I’ve drunk too much the night before. I’m weirdly looking forward to not drinking this month, I know there will be temptations but I’m really hoping I’ll see improvements in my life that will make me want to carry on with the sober life or at least make me rethink my habits.

Good luck to all of you who are trying to change too! X

[Thunderstorm8 in reply to Spinnermcspinny]

I also have an exciting feeling about going sober this month. I am tracking my progress and I didn't have a drink since last Friday which is only three days, however I would have consumed alot by now on the nights.

I am really glad I come across this page as its helping me focus.

Day 3. We can do this.

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Spinnermcspinny]

Its a progressive disease. As we age, different people react to alcohol differently. I knew a guy who until 55, he would drink max 2 drinks a day and call it quits. But something happened after that, where he couldn't stop after 2. He got admitted to a rehab twice, eventually he moved back to NY and I lost contact. He wouldn't admit that he had a problem. If you are unease when not drinking, in social surroundings, then its going to be really dificult for you to stay sober. That is the "un-manageability" part of step 1 of Alcoholics Anonymous. Rest of the steps are to help you be at ease, bring sanity into your life so you dont have to use alcohol as a crutch.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

I don’t think many social drinkers come on to a website talking about drinking too much. You may want to look at your diagnosis more closely. You’re the only one who can decide you’re an alcoholic. But unless you do, your drinking will get worse. And so will your problems.

That’s been my experience anyway. Good luck on your journey.

[Elemis]

Try zero alcohol lager,tastes quite authentic and you can still have a drink in your hand at social events which helps. No hangover, no embarrassing situations or blackouts…keep going ,I’m on day 73 AF and feeling clear headed, Attended a wedding recently and still had a great time !