Sober night on the town

[Sandpiper14]

So today I went out with three of my closet friends for one of their birthdays. Of course the plan centred around drinking which I don’t really want to do but I also don’t want to miss out on important events.

I will admit that I am not entirely t total at the moment, my main aim right now is to just not get drunk and so il enjoy a pint or in tonight’s case I had 241 and had two cocktails.

After the cocktails we moved onto bars and I said nope I’m finished with drinking for the night and proceeded to order soda and lime (my go to) and two men commented that what I had order was extremely cheap. I explained that I just had soda and lime and I really did feel met with judgment. I was asked why?

Where else do we have to explain why we have decided not to take a drug?

I really don’t know why but I suddenly felt really embarrassed. But then I thought to myself no? My choice makes other people feel uncomfortable and that has nothing to do with me. My choices are my own and I’m ready to really just accept this.

[FatOldMan]

Wow, that takes strength off character, well done.

[Sandpiper14 in reply to FatOldMan]

Thank you! I felt so much better for it!

[YNWA68]

Well done. Be very proud 🤩 Shows real strength of character 💪

[Sandpiper14 in reply to YNWA68]

Thank you sm

[DicCarlson]

Glad you persevered! It's almost like "well, I'm drinking - and can't stop - how can you just order a soda?" Stay the course. I just passed 1 year sober. You will notice - clearer thinking, writing, speaking - and at last a view of your potentials.

[Sandpiper14 in reply to DicCarlson]

Yep and I feel like if I say I’m not drinking other people feel awkward? The question is why and that’s one for them to ask to themselves and not me I still enjoy myself and have fun without it!

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

How other people react to me drinking or not drinking is none of my business. I’m the one who pays the price if I drink, so it’s up to me to be true to myself.

I find I have to limit my involvement with drinking events. If it’s someone’s birthday I can celebrate them in other ways.

[Elemis]

good for you for sticking to your guns and not giving in to the peer pressure!

[Jimbo92]

It’s tough. That’s my fear; missing out! And the truth is, you’re not. Alcohol doesn’t provide or give us anything. There’s no benefit to consuming it, on the other hand there’s tons of cons! Unfortunately we’ve been brainwashed to believe it’s this magic elixir of life and you’re a weirdo for abstaining from it. Almost like a cult!

I think our experiences are the same. I’m not what you’d call a heavy drinker or an alcoholic. However in the recent year or so I’ve decided that I am a problem drinker, and that weekend 1-2 pints leads to 5-10 and so on and then comes the dreaded hangover and regret, guilt, depression etc then I do it all over again. Again I don’t even do it every weekend but I have great difficulty keeping it to a reasonable amount and going home.

Personally, I can’t be in a pub or club if I’m trying to stay sober on the weekend. So your resistance is something to be proud of and you should ignore the comments! Well done.

[Sandpiper14 in reply to Jimbo92]

Problem drinker is definitely the term I’d use! I can go weeks without it but it’s controlling the quantity of alcohol when I do drink!

Thank you and now I’ve done it a few times I know there’s nothing stopping me from doing it again! I do sometimes worry what my friends will think.. whether they still think I’m fun to be around but again it’s not really my problem? Ha

[Jimbo92 in reply to Sandpiper14]

To be honest, when you’re out and sober and they’re all drunk you’ll realise how boring they actually are🤣 like there’s nothing more cringe than when you’re stone sober and you see how ridiculous smashed people look and act.

Again you’ll still have friends that stay but a lot will probably drift away. And that’s sound, it’s just part of the process and it’s life

[Sandpiper14 in reply to Jimbo92]

I think it’s also quite eye opener, if I’m only friends with people through virtue of getting drunk with them then they’re not really friends!