I get angry, I drink

[FatOldMan]

We argued again yesterday and I got angry, so as usual I reached for the vodka bottle. This morning I feel like I have failed again and even after a 5 miles walk which usually pulls me out of my despondency I am still feeling pretty bad . The argument continues so it is going to be difficult staying away from the booze and that is the vicious circle that is almost a way of life for me.Hope you are all having more success than I am at the moment.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. Anger is one of my main downfalls. In AA we talk a lot about anger and resentment. In fact our literature points out that “resentment is the number one offender.”

I was very angry when I came into the program. And I didn’t even know it. I was brought up in a home where anger was not allowed. We fought in icy silence.

Fortunately AA has a way to address my anger. I can get angry today and do constructive things with it. I talk to my people. We work it out. And I don’t have to drink.

I get angry when people, places and things don’t do what I expect them to do. So really I’m at the mercy of triggers. There is a way out.

One of the tools I use is the Serenity Prayer. “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.”

Don’t be put off by the word God. That’s just a term I use to indicate I believe there are forces in the universe which are more powerful than me. I’m not in charge of the world. Or the people in it.

Keep trying. And remember that making someone else in charge of whether I drink or not, sets me up for failure.

Glad you are here. I need you.

[FatOldMan in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

I understand what you are saying but when confronted with someone determined to argue over the slightest thing I'm afraid I loose control ( not physically I hasten to add) I get very loud and aggressive then I feel guilty. I know that I shouldn't do it so that is why I feel the need to use booze to lessen these feelings. I am beginning to ramble on a bit but putting it into writing seems to help. Thanks

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to FatOldMan]

Yes. Venting here is a helpful tool. Please don’t worry about rambling. You need to get out your feelings.

It takes two to argue. Try saying, “Thank you for sharing,” when you feel baited. That works for me often.

[FatOldMan in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

I think that might produce an interesting reaction 🤔

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to FatOldMan]

It does indeed.

Also helpful is “I understand what you are saying.” Or “I’ll take it under advisement.”

[WilliamG]

I know for myself, I ended up feeling so much better when I stopped drinking, which was a little over 6 months ago. Before I quit, I couldn’t imagine my life without alcohol, and I honestly felt I’d rather die than quit entirely. I knew things were bad though, so I tried to moderate by limiting when I would start drinking along with how much I would allow myself to have. It worked for a few days, maybe even a few weeks, but I invariably ended up blindingly drunk. The next day, I would be nauseated, anxious, shaking, and filled with “incomprehensible demoralization.” Things finally started to change when I admitted I was powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable (AA’s first step). It was actually a huge relief and it allowed me to start on my sobriety journey.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to WilliamG]

I love hearing your story and seeing your progress. Keep at it a day at a time. ❤️

[FatOldMan in reply to WilliamG]

Thanks for sharing your experiences, I would really like to be a social drinker and in control but I'm beginning to think that it is not an option. Thanks.

[Yorkiecapricorn]

I hear you freind. I feel like this way of life is impossible to change. Im thinking to try AA as my last resort.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to Yorkiecapricorn]

AA was my last resort. My father was in the program, and I knew I was going to be expected to not drink, if I went there. It wasn’t until I was ready to do anything to stop drinking that I gave up and followed their suggestions.

Find online Zoom meetings at:

aa-intergroup.org/oiaa/meet...

[FatOldMan in reply to Yorkiecapricorn]

I hope AA works for you, I would be very interested to know how it goes.

[Callison]

There’s an organization in the U.K. called Alcohol Change. It’s worth taking a look at for additional support. All information is useful.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador in reply to Callison]

Thanks for posting additional resources.

[FatOldMan in reply to Callison]

Thanks for that, it's a very interesting group. I have just had a quick read and it looks like my kind of thing. I like challenges and statistics etc that's the best way for motivation for me. Thanks. As a well-known tv ad says-- every little helps.

[Callison in reply to FatOldMan]

👍

[SoberDrunk1]

The unmanageability of step one of AA is that, we cant handle life situation without alcohol. We get restless irritable discontended. These are basic manifestation of inability to handle our emotions. The rest of the steps helps us handle such emotions and be OK. I was on a 10 day cruise, lot of situations from late trains to long lines at the security at the airports. Those things that usually pisses me off didnt have an effect on me. And then the bars on the ship, so many of them, didn't bother me at all. I had so much fun and time with the family. They had meetings too on sail days. Only 4 drunks out of 2500 odd people still it was so great to meet strangers and have a great meeting. Was so grateful.