Mum had a massive stroke

Hi I'm new here and am hoping for advice and friendships. My mother suffered a massive stroke on Saturday afternoon. She was not able to have the clot busting drug because she had previously been in hospital for stomach ulcers and internal bleeding, and the dr said it could do more harm than good. Anyway, to cut a long story short, this is where we are at. So she had her stroke three days ago and she has no feeling in her right arm, very minimal feeling in her right leg she moves her toes when dad tickles her foot. She can't speak at all. Her right eye has dropped and looks as though it has sunk, she is eating small amounts so she can swallow, and she is drinking but sometimes chokes on it. Today they got her out of bed on a hoist and took her to physio. They said she did everything they wanted. She also had a full ct scan which the results should be back tomorrow. From what the nurse told my dad she has a clot on the brain which caused the stroke. I guess really I am after reassurance or information from someone who's had the same and could perhaps shed light on what happens now, and if she will ever talk again. What can I do to help??? I just want my Mum back again. I am broken.

18 Replies

  • hello mummys girl I hsd my stroke 15 months ago it was blood clot and it has taken a lot of my vision but it is slowly improving and so am I every ones stroke is different and through talking to people now I have learnt it all takes time the best you can do for your mum is be there for her and be positive with her things will improve it takes a long time be patient best wishes x

  • Hi caroline, thanks so much for advice it really means a lot. I will b going to see her later so hopefully things will b clearer. Xx

  • Hello. Sorry to hear about your Mum. I had a brain stem stroke just over a year ago. My family were my rock through my time in hospital and they continue to be there for me always. That is the best you can do for your Mum right now. Stay positive I know it's hard but try and put on a happy face when you visit her. Physio is very important for your Mum now. If she is on an acute stroke ward they might move her to a rehab ward in the following few days. The hospital I was in had a great rehab team. Visit as much as you can. Hope this helps. Take care and look after your self too. Let me know if I can do anything else

  • I am very lucky that I have a good close family around me, and everyone is cantered on helping us and my mum. She he been for physiotherapy again today and again they are happy where she is at so that's all positive. I know it will b a long process and I hope that everyday she improves. Xx

  • I'm sure she will take care and let us know how she gets on

  • I've had 3 strokes, the last one was on Friday in the early hours even though I'm already on Warfarin with a fairly high Inr of 4.0 and was in range at the time. Your mum has had help quickly and should improve greatly with Physio. A lot depends on how strong she was before the stroke, the stronger her muscles the better the chance of recovery. I doubt based on my own experience that she will recover everything she's lost but she should make considerable progress as long as she keeps working at it.

  • Thank you, I'm sorry to hear that you have suffered so many strokes. I wish you well. X

  • the best thing you can do for your mum is just to be there for her. to listen to her and try to understand and to ask people like doctors the questions she is unable to. I think there is a good chace she will be able to speak again depending on justwhere the clot was lotere the Clot is. I attend a daycare/ brain injury clinic twice a week and I do see people's communication skills improving quite a lot just remember that your mum wants herself back every it as much as you do but you have both to adjust to the fact that she is mum mark two now and can still be a person you love and who needs your love more than ever now (just not quite the same all the very best to you both from Greg who was lucky enough not to have major communication problems and is still working on Greg mark two

  • Thanks yes I think visiting her everyday and making sure she knows that she has all the support I the world will be a great help to her. I will never give up on her. I know it will take time, but I along with the rest of my family will support her to the max, keep going Greg your doing great xx

  • It sounds a bit like the one i had in 2014 but i was lucky it didn't affect my speech, just down my left hand side. I then fell and had to have my hip pinned and dislocated my shoulder as well. I am at the stage where I have gained some movement in my left side but not my shoulder muscles but it takes time and i am not giving up, Not sure if this helps but keep talking to your mum and help her as she tries to speak to you, she will have trouble trying to get her words out but dont give up she is probably frustrated that she cannot explain what she wants although she knows in her head what she wants to say,

  • Thanks Brenda, yeah I think the speech thing is hard for her because she obviously wants to tell us but cant, I and it's obviously very frustrating. She is a fighter which is good so she will want to do things to get moving l, she won't give up easily. Xx

  • I myself had a massive stroke 2014 March 7th to be exact ,i was in Malta 3weeks there in hospital 10 months altogether !My family were told i might not make but i did thankfully.I couldn.t eat,talk,or walk i had to all these things again .Mum will be fine i,m sure it time,the Stroke Ass have helped a lot ,and i had speech therapy,and physio and i got a Life After Stroke Award because i,m doing so well and ive now joined this group and it,s amazing when you think how many of have strokes and i wish all the best on your mums recovery stay positive !

  • Hi. I too had a massive stroke when i was 42. Initially I was paralysed from the neck down, lost my speech and was locked in for 24 hours. This meant i could only communicate via blinking. Stay positive - physio was my saviour and I can now walk and talk. It's a long process and patience was not something I was blessed with. Be grateful for every small improvement and stay positive as that is what will get you and your family through this. Take good care x

  • You can improve after a stroke as you may have seen in the BBC's Hospital series and, improvement can happen over the next six months due to neuroplasticity. Talk to the neurology team and make sure that your mum has rehabilitation. If you search this site you will find two links that I have posted to the Royal College of Physicians Stroke Guidelines; one is for clinicians but readable by us lay people, and the other is an easy read version.

    I had a stroke in July 2016 plus a suspected TIA a month later and, although I'm still blind on the right hand side, physically and mentally I'm just about recovered. Although I had spent years working with computers, two days after the stroke I was home and I had no idea how to use Outlook and, I couldn't find the bathroom in our small bungalow. However I could remember how to build computers so I set about building two at the same time. That was the key to getting my brain functioning again. Your support will be a real help to your mum. As a stroke survivor you feel confused, worried, and at times depressed; it's not easy for close relatives either. Post back here when you need to.

  • My daughter was exactly your age when I had a stroke 16 months ago. She was absolutely devastated but I didn't realise that at the time as she managed to keep positive and cheerful every time she came to see me, she and my husband came every day. I had a clot, was still able to talk but lost the use of my legs and had severe vision problems, the wall became the floor for the first days! The lady in the bed opposite me couldn't talk, but the day I left hospital she went for an assessment and when she and her husband came back he was very positive about what could be done for her. I found the physio absolutely marvellous in getting me walking again, and your mother sounds as if she is a fighter too. It will all take time, and some days you think you are going backwards, but I'm sure she'll get there. I stopped using my stick about six months after my stroke and am now finally back on the tennis court for gentle sessions with tolerant friends! The very best of luck to you, your mother, and all your family and friends who care for you both.

  • Thanks so much.... it is so lovely to hear everyone's stories. It's hard to know if my mum understands what's going on. Sometime it seems as though she doesn't know. As you say I'm sure things will improve it will just take time. I will keep updating here. X

  • Oh dear mummiesgirl36,

    I do feel for your fears and grief, My daughter tells me " you werem't like my mum at all " when she talks about the early weeks of my stroke. But I remember it was just knowing she was there, just seeing her face as she came in the ward, that kept me going. Just keep being there and loving your mum, she'll rally round. I was on liquidised food, my left eye wouldn't work but my family and the nurses kept making me use it by always going to my left side (your mum's right of course) encourage her to use it. It is a very slow process but don't be impatient. I know you must be frightened but keep encouraging her. I had a motto "make haste slowly" It was 2009 when I had my stroke and I'm still here, my left side is still not so good and my singing is a family joke, but I'm here and I can laugh with my girl.

    love to you and your mum -keep me up to date (oh and love to your dad he must be suffering xx)


  • Hi, just a thought, can your mum communicate without speaking?? I used to scribble words to my family and friends....or could she use a keyboard of any sorts ? Music and yoga were beneficial to me.....

    Good luck

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