Despite years of reading hordes of books about Depression, learning about myself, going to weekly therapy sessions (with a terrific caring therapist), and forcing myself to bike ride, keep the house tidy, cook, etc. I still have no motivation to do anything. It's extremely difficult to get myself to do things. So, last week, I decided to give an anti-depressant another shot. I gave up on anti-depressants several years ago because I disliked the side effects—increased blood pressure, nausea, weight gain, loss of sexual desire, drowsiness, nervousness, insomnia, blurred vision, etc. etc.
So ten days ago, my Psych/MD prescribed me a low dosage of Wellbutrin (37.5MG). Anti-depressants are fascinating because they seem to slow your brain down. This one does it, but without making me drowsy, which is a good thing. It's also supposed to be good for attention deficit disorder (ADHD)—which I also have. When I take the drug each morning it gives me a stomach ache, but then it goes away after an hour... It seems to suppress my anxiety a bit, but not sure if it improves my motivation. I'll be monitoring this drug the next couple of weeks. If this doesn't work then I have officially given up on anti-depressants.