By Poppypugular request.
just to tie this gratuitous narcissism tenuously in to the aim of the forum, two things that have been of great comfort to me during the bleak moments:
firstly, just how many good friends I have, many, ifnot most of whom I know 'only' via the internet, here and of facebook etc. People whom I have never met in person have offered to drive the length of the country to offer help. The kind words and messages of support. This has been termendously moving and a real source of strength for me. Feeling that I am part of a wider family or community even as my own family was tearing apart has been light in the dark hours. Thank you all.
Secondly, it is, I think, 2 years ago this week or next week since I graduated C25k. It seems odd that itnwas only suuch a short time ago because i have come a long way in that time. I have run all kinds of races, lifted some really heavy stuff yadda yadda yadda. I gon from fat to fit. I was 3 stone heavier then and 28% of my body was fat; now it is just over 8%. At that time I had really written myself off physically. I would never have dreamed that I would be able to run a mile let alone 30. It was only that life forced me to do something about my health that made me start. I still have a long way to go to achieve my current goals and there will doubtless be more by the time I do, but, false modesty aside, when i saw these pictures I really realised j just how far I had come in that time. And there was no secret to that transformation. I am not any more hardcore than anyone else. I don't have better or worse genetics. It was just persistence, determination and consistent hard work. It was C25k, and then keeping on going. My training regimes may seem OTT to some of you but it was just C25k and then consistently adding a little bit more.
And the realisation that I did that, and that persistence and hard work resulted in a considerable change makes me certain that however crap my situation is right now - and there is a great deal more more mundane practical, banal financial crappiness to the story - however horrible it all feels, however terrified I am for my children, I can make it all get better just by persistent hard work. By getting out of bed every morning and putting on my Dad shoes and applying myself, it will get better. It may take time and I may get frustrated at my 'speed and distance' and slow gainz, but if I stick with the damn programme it will get better.
And really, if this had happened 3 years ago I don't think I would have. I would have been shit-faced drunk for a start, and despite all that has happened, i still haven't had a drink this year, and have no intention or even desire to. C25k was the thing that set my change in motion and taught me that lesson.
FTDP - Follow The Damn Programme. It will lead you much further than just 5k away.