Couch to 5K
53,138 members85,220 posts

Is it okay?

I has surgery last week and paid for it to be done privately. My consultant was amazing and did a great job, not only at slicing me open, but also making the whole thing as easy as possible and a laugh at the same time!

The whole experience has made me evaluate a few things and i feel the need to say thank you to him.

On one side i feel ridiculous as i paid this person a small fortune to do their job, however i like to make people feel good and wonder if it is strange or even okay to get them a gift as a thank you? It would only be something small, but meaningful to his job i guess.

I have a follow up in a few weeks and would give it to him then.

Is this weird, or a completely acceptable thing to do?

8 Replies

If you feel you want to give him a gift then it is entirely up to you. My wife is a nurse and sometimes patients or their families pop back with small token gifts, boxes of chocs etc as a way of showing their appreciation, and I know they always are really pleased.

I, on the other hand, often move Heaven and Earth to get people's houses, blocks of flats, halls of student accommodation, factories etc finished, passing stringent sustainability requirements and signed off by building control but have never had so much as a bottle of wine by way of thank you. I count myself lucky if I get my invoice paid within 60 days of overdue.

Grumble grumble.


I worry that having already paid privately, giving a gift would be seen as OTT. I worry too much!

You sound like the sort of person that would get a bottle of wine as a thank you from me :)


If you want a Zero Carbon house building, let me know. You sound like the sort of client I would love to have.


Having had surgery twice privately I never gave the surgeon a gift as I felt their fee was big enough, I did however buy chocolates for the nursing staff that looked after me so very well during my recovery. They after all have no control over their wages while a private surgeon does. But go with what makes you happiest.


I am a nurse, and I have kept every single thank you letter and gift as they mean the world to me...I would definitely give it to him, I am sure he will be really grateful...and I wish you a speedy recovery too.....


If you're not sure about a gift, then why not send a note or a card ?

When my daughter got fantastic treatment at my parent's local A&E when we were on holiday there, I went onto the NHS Trust's website and used the contact details (intended for complaints) to send a message saying how happy we were with both the clinical and admin staff. I got a lovely mail back and a promise to print out my message and put it on the staff notice board.


My husband will have his last chemo cycle in a couple of weeks time so we have got a card and chocolates for all the staff to share because they have all been absolutely wonderful with us. Doctors, nurses, admin staff et al. Go with your gut feeling. I don't think there's anything wrong at all in wanting to say thank you in whatever way you feel right.


Agree, go with your gut feeling, I don't think it's OTT private or NHS. We gave the midwife who delivered our son a present and card, she was wonderful and words didn't seem enough to thank her.


You may also like...