COPD Friends
2,174 members708 posts

Shattered

Hello. Well, it has finally happened. My partner of 15 years has left me. I'm not surprised, because I'm not the man she spent the first 13 with. We had so much fun, did lots of things. Since my diagnosis 2 years ago I basically do nothing, or at least very little. I must now face this disease alone. I have nobody else. To say I'm shattered would be an understatement. And on top of that I'm feeling about as physically poorly as I ever have. Meds doing very little for me. Sorry to complain. There's just very little for me to be happy about. I'm sure others out there feel the same.

12 Replies
oldestnewest

We are with you. Untrue that you no longer have anyone. You have us. Thoughts and prayerful things to you.

xx

Reply

Thanks, mellyme. I got up and went for a walk after that post. I feel a little better. Probably did 2 miles. I have been slacking off on my exercise.

Reply

Keep knowing it will get better. Keep the walks up too, though not in extreme heat. :)

Reply

So, what is your story, mellyme? I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago at age 64 after having stopped smoking 23 years earlier. Emphysema/asthma. I now realize I had it long before my diagnosis; it just didn't really affect me until then.

1 like
Reply

Diagnosed last summer moderately severe. Smoked 45 years. Had a rough winter with infections, but really well this summer. I was diagnosed when I went in for chest pains which were actually a hiatal hernia. Subsequent tests unearthed emphy. That kind of explained why I couldn't get breath when sleeping on my side. Also the never ending cough I thought was caused by allergies to pollen. Bending over to suck wind at the mildest exercise. Still working, aged 60, though I get hoarse quite often. I see you're in the states too. Whereabouts? I'm in Charlotte.

Reply

I'm in Mobile, Al. I was forced to retire at age 60 after 38 years at a newspaper. So I had a few nice years of retirement before I got sick. This stuff hit me like a baseball bat overnight. I don't see how you could still work. I mean, literally, I was fine one day and slammed the next, and it's never changed since. I must be honest, I drink a lot to ease the pain and anxiety. That's one of the reasons my partner left me. But if I didn't drink I would never get a minute of sleep at night. I am at least slightly breathless every second of the day and night -- yet supposedly my COPD is not that bad -- moderate, maybe even borderline mild. I do try to exercise -- I took that 2-mile walk today, walked the dogs and took a short bike ride this evening. But I know in my heart and mind that no amount of exercise is really going to help me. I'm set for a new breathing test in a few weeks. I suspect the results will not be as good as my last one. It's really hard to stay positive when you feel like crap and can't breathe. I hope you're doing better than I am.

Reply

First you don’t have to apologize for complaining as most of us do it from time to time as we face different issues, be it health or otherwise.

Second I think you are perhaps underestimating the potential benefit of exercise as most people do benefit and often their breathing does improve over time with exercise.

2 likes
Reply

I am sorry to hear about your problems a

Reply

I am sorry to hear about your problems and no one to share them with. Medication is always a problem. What works with one person doesn’t always work with another. It took me 9 years to get my cocktail of medication right. Be positive and join a local Breathe Easy group they will help you. Keep your chin up.

1 like
Reply

You are not alone, you have us. No need to apologize for complaining about things, we all do it from time to time. Someone once told me; it's okay to visit self pity town once in a while, just don't take up permanent residence there.

I agree with Jackdup, exercise is good for you, it will help you feel better, just not outside in the heat and humidity.

You said this hit you like a baseball bat, with me it felt like someone just punched me in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me.

You also said you took a 2 mile walk after posting this, and you felt a bit better. Being able to walk 2 miles is great in my book, I can't walk 2 blocks.

You said the meds are doing very little, maybe talk to your doctor, ask to try something else. There are plenty of options out there. I also have to say (and I speak from experience) self medicating is a temporary solution at best, and it's not healthy for you. Also keep in mind, some meds do not interact well with alcohol. Please keep in touch, let me know how you are doing.

1 like
Reply

Wow this is like a page out of my book, same age as you and I also drank to sleep, was breathless but I could not walk the 2 miles you do! Then one day I got a cold, that turned into bronchitis than turned into walking pneumonia and at the end of all that I was diagnosed with End Stage COPD. I stopped smoking right away (after 40 years ) which was successful due to the fact I had no breath to smoke. Doc did overnight test and I was put on oxygen at night and some daily meds. After a few months of getting used to the oxygen at night then I no longer needed the alcohol. And I sleep so much better, no brain damage from all that alcohol or lack of oxygen when I sleep. I did have to retire and went on disability. Ask your Doc to prescribe pulmonary rehab if its in your area. It will teach you the best exercise for copd, stuff that will help build the right muscles to help us breath better.

1 like
Reply

Hi, everybody, and thanks for all the replies; they mean a lot to me. For about a month, up until a few days ago, I was feeling quite well. The it turned to shite again. This is how it is with me, Sometimes I seldom use my rescue inhaler, now I'm using it 3 and 4 times a day -- in addition to Spiriva and Symbicort. I just got in from playing 18 holes of golf. Walked the front nine, rode in a cart for the second nine. But my breathing was not good the whole time. It's not like I'm gasping for air, just that I can't get deep satisfying breaths. Now I've just had an ice cold vodka and cranberry juice and feel much better. I'm being brutally frank here. I know that drinking is generally frowned upon, but it always makes me feel better. I have been to pulmonary rehab, and I did enjoy it. In fact, I am still in the maintenance program, going about once a week. I know I should do more. Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that I do believe in the benefits of exercise, and I try to do something every day. But, boy, I have been having a harder time lately. And, of course, it doesn't help that my dear partner for the last 15 years told me she could no longer deal with my illness and left me.

1 like
Reply

You may also like...