Hi, this is my first post on here, just joined on behalf of newly diagnosed husband for now. Still fairly shocked as were both in our early thirties and I was pregnant with our second child at the time of diagnosis. Reading some of the posts on here people sound so positive, I'm afraid I'm still pretty much in shock at the moment. His 1st 6monthly check is in a week or so and I'm starting to feel quite down at scared etc hormones probably aren't,t helping since I have a nine week old baby. I'm sorry if I sound quite maudlin compared to so many of you, but right now every lovely thing my girls do just feels so bittersweet. When I see my new baby coo and gurgle with delight, it breaks my heart to think of what may be to come. Iv felt so angry at times, 'its so'' unfair, why us, why now? Etc I no many of you will have felt the same and that it is pointless to waste time on such questions, but I just need to vent them somewhere. We have only told our nearest and dearest, its so hard to keep it to myself sometimes. Sorry for being so negative, I just needed to get it off my chest, most of the time I cope by being in 'denial'! We've been together since we were teenagers and I can't face a future without him, sorry I'm whining again! Would be helpful to speak to anyone who can inspire a bit of optimism or similar age / situation. I don't always think its a good idea to tell him how I'm feeling as I don't want to bring him down, but equally I can't bare to see him hurting - what do you say??!