A timely warning about meeting family members.

[Penkman]

On BBC Radio 5 Live this morning there was a heart rending call from a listener whose mother had recently died from coronavirus resulting in both the caller and radio host becoming very emotionally distressed.

Her mother who was clinically extremely vulnerable and had been isolating in her own home for the last three months had succumbed to family pressures to attend a wedding at which she contracted the virus and died a month later after being on a ventilator for three weeks. I will not go into details about the wedding other than to say it did not follow covid guidelines.

For many of us, we are going through a lot of heart searching as to whether to meet up with family members on Christmas Day and particularly when under pressure to do so from other family members.

It has made me think again about dropping off presents for my son, daughter in law and two grandchildren, just stopping long enough to see them open their presents.

Instead, I intend to stay outside, wish them a Happy Christmas and pass their presents through the door. This in itself is going to be somewhat distressing but in the interests of staying safe is the best compromise I can think of.

From my own personal experiences over the last 4 years, I have been hospitalised twice as a result of picking up infections on a train (once for attending a CLL Conference!) and on another occasion whilst attending a family funeral which I felt duty bound to go to.

Many of us will face similar dilemmas over this Christmas season irrespective of which tier we are in and I would urge anybody in this situation to think long and hard before succumbing to family pressures and just explain to such people about how vulnerable we are and the serious consequences of us catching the virus.

The same reasoning also applies to attending weddings and funerals however difficult it is to just say no.

Stay safe everyone and hopefully we can all look forward to a better 2021.

[Sushibruno]

All makes sense, I agree!

[Justasheet1]

I always hear the same thing, “Oh they work from home and they don’t go anywhere.” Then you see pictures of them in groups without masks. You can only depend on yourself to make good decisions. It’s not up to them sadly.

[Phil4-13]

My choice, too, for a Christmas present exchange. Masked and outside and limited visit time, like maybe 30 minutes. I have 9 grandchildren and 5 great grandchildren from my 2 sons and their beautiful wives. This being apart is so stressful. No church on Sundays together, missed birthday parties and spontaneous family gatherings are all missed. I’m questioning my “wisdom” in hanging outside my son’s home, masked, on Christmas. I’m trying to convince myself it equals my visits to the pharmacy, lab, doctors, and grocery. That reasoning is bugging my conscience. I don’t zoom-I have limited tech IQ. I need to try harder.I don’t have it as difficult as others and am anxious for them and myself to receive the healing relief that the CONTROL of this virus spread will give us. My love to you, Penkman, and all in our group. Sandra🎶 Jingle Bells-MERRY CHRISTMAS!

[wroxham-gb in reply to Phil4-13]

Phil , what's app is very easy to use.You would be able to video call for free provided the people you were calling are on what's app.

Good luck with trying.

Sue

[Beattiem-UK]

A timely reminder....

[jaypax]

We have just lost a dear old friend to covid. Her daughter attended a properly socially distanced Christmas do at a local hotel where all the required precautions were in place. One guest subsequently tested positive which resulted in the transmission of the virus by the daughter to her mother and the passing of a dear 95 year old lady. The daughter is devastated with guilt. So so sad.

[Penkman in reply to jaypax]

That's tragic and will play on the daughters conscious for a long time. In pubs and restaurants etc the fact that people are not wearing masks is bound to spread the virus and I can understand the government's stance on their closure despite the understandable strong protestations of the hospitality business. So sorry for the loss of your friend especially at this time of year but I fear there will be further such instances over the Christmas period unfortunately.

[Loves2walk]

We are in Canada, my husband has CLL(W&W), and as a family have agreed it’s not worth the risk to be together for the first time in 37 years! We are so fortunate that we all agree in this.

We ache with missing our two beautiful grandchildren, who live two hours away.

So many have suggested we just “slip over and have a quick visit”. Our chosen answer is “we love our family too much to put anyone at risk”.

Yes we’ve had tears over it, and will confess to outright jealousy (and bitterness) over those who have chosen to go ahead and get together, but it’s just not worth it.

Thank you for sharing these items. A timely reminder to stay safe and healthy during this holiday!

[Ptown]

I certainly can identify with these feelings. Our only child lives an 11 hour car trip away from my husband and me so we decided to not risk the travel. My heart is aching at the thought of them being alone. Such unprecedented times! Stay vigilant! Carolyn. This too shall pass.