Living with assymetry

[Bc1888]

Hi! I suffered a broken jaw after an attack from my ex boyfriend nearly 8 years ago now. I’ve been left with an asymmetrical face on both sides and it really affects me day to day. Some times I’m better than Others but i think about it every single day and it makes me really depressed. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I’ve been to counselling and it doesn’t help. I’m worried I’m going to feel like this for the rest of my life. It’s at the point where I don’t want to see anyone or even look at any one because I just find myself obsessing over their jawline etc and anxious about mine.

[EvaChangingFaces Partner]

Hello Bc1888 and Welcome to the Changing Faces Community. Thank you for posting your story on here. It sounds like you have survived a very traumatic and abusive relationship in the past and it’s very brave of you to take a step forward and talk about it openly and share your experience with others. It seems that things are difficult for you at the moment and I am very sorry to hear that there are days that you feel depressed and that you can’t cope with the way your face looks. There is a lot to consider and deal with in terms of living with a visible difference and worrying about other people’s reactions it is definitely a common theme among lots of people in the community. Hopefully, as this community grows, you'll find more people to connect with and get some additional support here.

Take care,

Eva - ChangingFaces

[Bc1888 in reply to EvaChangingFaces]

Thank you Eva, yes definitely hoping that I can get some support from here

[Gorgonite]

I hope he was severely punished, that is awful. Hopefully it will help to know that most people's faces are asymmetrical. And if anyone ever says anything just give them the short story of what happened then if there was any negative judgement from them it will turn positive. Obviously I don't know how you look but I imagine it's not a bad as you think. If it is then maybe surgery could help. And try to replace the insecurity and anxiety with feeling proud and blessed to have overcome what you have suffered and went through.

[Circuitbreaker Community Ambassador]

Hi Bc1888,

Just wanted to say hi as I'm also a newbie here.

I'm so sorry to hear that this ratbag did this to you. There is no excuse.

I feel at times like apologising for being a bloke, but then I remember the issues with my unsightly cysts. The problem is not with me, its with the starer.

Same is true here, the problem is firmly with that ratbag. You should not have to hide away. If you do, that ratbag wins. That can't be allowed.

You've clearly got some strength in you, even if you don't always think that is true. Otherwise you wouldn't have shared this. YOu get every bit respect I have for saying this.

My problems are very different from yours, but just know that you have my assurance that not all blokes would do such a thing. For a good number of men, women are our mothers, and sisters, our girlfriends and our wives.

Perhaps try small goals, things you think you manage. DOn't worry about the rest of your life for now. Take one day at a time, take each goal one at a time. And see how you get on. Build up to bigger things when you decide it's right for you. Worrying about too much in one go can be overwhelming!

Team building exercises often cite the "How do you eat an elephant?!" exercise. By which they mean, how do you approach a big thing.

Breaking it down into smaller chunks is the key.

Nor is there any right or wrong answer. There is only what works for you and does not. If something doesn't help you, no great problem. try something else.

Wishing you every success in your journey.