Dealing with facial asymmetry

[_Candy_]

Hey am 22 two years with a very serious facial symmetry... I was diagnosed with tooth tumor in 2012 which kinda spread to my right eye... I later got a surgery to remove it but it entirely damaged my right side of the face... My face just looks soo uneven rn... My right eye is kinda bigger since they removed my eye bone... And my entire right side just looks soo sloopy since they removed my check bone and my teeth too (now I have to use dentures which I hate) .. I just don't think people really understand what am going through coz I can't smile coz my dentures are kinda loose and everyone can notice whenever I try to laugh .I just hate how I look adding to the fact am a 6'2 and kinda tomboyish I just look like an ugly giant whenever am hanging out with my friends ...even worse I have a twin sister who is very much okay and pretty and everytime people dolling her and telling her how pretty she is makes me wish I had such kind of life not that am jealous or anything but every boy in the neighborhood wanting her and treating her all nice when no one even notices me its sickening ....I don't even know how to just feel good about life coz I swear my self esteem is at zero and I find nothing to be proud of in this world anyway ,and everytime I spend my time in bed wishing I would die sooner.

[Rainbowfish]

Hi Candy, I’m so sorry your feeling this way. It sounds like you have been through so much. Also being reminded of how you feel everytime you want to smile must be so tough. I think many people dont realise just how tiring it is to have these considerations in your head all the time, dictating how you act and appear. Making comparisons with your sister sounds really hard. Have you spoken to her about it? Or your friends maybe? I can understand it’s difficult though when people haven’t been in the same position themselves.

Is your treatment still ongoing? I only ask as if it has finished it sounds like it would be worth them looking at the wobbly dentures issue to see if there is anything to help so you can enjoy smiling again.

Sorry if you already have, I know how annoying unsolicited advice can be when you have already tried everything.

When you say you can’t find joy in life and have nothing to be proud of it reminds me of some of my dark times. The thing that saved me was talking to doctors, having counselling on and off and going on antidepressants, and keeping in touch with doctor when I needed to change them. I appreciate you may have already done that or it may not be right for you. Posting how h feel is a big first step tho. And I know what I say won’t necessarily change how you feel but I immediately thought how proud you should be of coming out of the other side of everything you have been through, and you’re only 22. You have overcome so much already.

Be kind to yourself and take care

[CarolinChangingFaces Partner]

Hi _Candy_ Thank you for your post and sharing about your situation. It sounds like you have been through a difficult time and it’s really positive you have been able to open up and share about how you have been feeling on here.

It sounds like you are finding things hard at the moment and I am aware you mentioned you have had thoughts of dying. If these thoughts feel strong or if you think you might act on them we would recommend speaking to your doctor to let them know how you are feeling so you can explore what support may be available to help you.

If you are based in the UK, you can also contact The Samaritans (samaritans.org/) for free 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by calling 116 123.

If you are living outside of the UK, LifeLine international have details of different organisations offering support in various countries (lifeline-intl.com/).

Health unlocked also has a list of organisations internationally which can offer support: support.healthunlocked.com/...

I hope this is of some help and you find this community a safe space where you can connect and feel supported too.

Take Care

Caroline – Changing Faces

[Bubble2022]

It is so hard accepting your appearance has changed. If anything though Candy, your appearance resembles strength, courage and resilience. It sets you apart because you have experienced and over come something not just any 22 year old has. Ultimately, as cheesy as it sounds, it has made you unique and that is something so special. I am 19 and have a scar all down my middle due to surgery ( I appreciate this is easier to cover up etc and by no means am comparing us) but I went through a stage (and still struggle) of covering all mirrors, crying everytime I had to get changed and skipping seeing my friends because I would compare my self. People are so quick to say 'it doesn't look that bad' or 'You're lucky to be alive' and I always think, but what if it was you! My point it, I know it doesnt feel like it, but use these differences to your best ability, they make you you and represent all you've been through. I hope this helps in anyway possible, please reply with any thoughts. :)))