will i ever be loved?

[IWantToHaveHope]

Will i ever be loved and experience romance if i have some burn scars on my face?

im 26, i feel unloveable, i cry often because i feel hopeless. I feel like i wont have the friends i want, the love i desire, everytime when i see my face in the mirror, i get very anxious and cry. I'm afraid to show and tell my old friends who live in other countries about how i look now. Because of my face, i dont wanna do anything, i just wanna hide from the world and die as soon as possible (hopefully today), i want to fall in love and live a normal life, a life with hope, excitement and love, but i truely dont feel like i will have it. im lonely and hopeless i wish i was living in a very cold country so i can get drunk and sleep in forest and never wake up again.

sorry for the nagetivity i send out. i wish i could meet someone similar in real life.

[EvaChangingFaces Partner]

Hi IWantToHaveHope ,

It sounds like you've been through a lot and so thank you for being brave and sharing your situation with everyone here. I am very sorry to hear that you have been feeling hopeless and anxious and that you have been doubting all these things about yourself and your future. It must be very hard thinking that you can’t reach out to old friends, and I do hope that you have other people closer that you can talk to and get some support from if you wanted to. Many people we talk to in our services say they feel 'unlovable' or have experienced similar thought patterns and I'm sure people here in this community will recognise some of what you're saying.

You also mentioned that you are experiencing suicidal thoughts – it is really important that you get the right kind of help if you’re feeling this way. We’d strongly recommend you talk to your doctor or local mental health service about this. If you feel that you’re in immediate danger of hurting yourself, we’d urge you to contact the emergency services number in your country or going to your local A&E.

Changing Faces cannot endorse any external organisations, but you might want to consider looking at this if you wanted a starting point:

findahelpline.com/tw?topics...

You talked about wanting to hide and not do anything but also about having hopes and desires about your life and finding love and have different adventures and that sounds like someone who wants to fulfill all these things and be present and experience what life has to offer.

It sounds that when you think about your scaring it makes things difficult and painful for you and I just wanted to let you know that for a lot of people, the worry about a scar or other visible difference can be very consuming and upsetting and you’re not alone in this experience. It may mean that you need specialist psychological support that deals with these concerns and can help you with the difficult feelings that is bringing up. We would suggest, in the first instance, you start by speaking to your doctor or a health professional about this, to refer you to further help.

Hope that helps a little and take care of yourself.

Eva – Changing Faces

[Hidden]

Hi IWantToHaveHope, it sounds like you're going through a tough time, and have a lot of emotional/mental pain. I completely understand how you feel and what you're saying, I often felt and thought this way and still do at times. Regarding your friends in other countries, I believe you will tell them when you're ready. One can't force these things, but when you're comfortable to tell them, you will. You have to process and come to terms with what's happened and how you look before you can tell others. If other people don't accept you for who you are and how you look, then that's their problem, and probably aren't worth being friends with. For a very long time I've wanted a romantic relationship, but in my experience you have to love yourself in order for others to love you. Loving oneself is very difficult, particular when you have a facial disfigurement, and it's something I haven't got to grips with yet. This is very heavy stuff you're going through and you need to talk to a professional in mental health. I've done this a few times and it's helped. You need make sense of all this before you can go any further. I understand this is very painful and lonely for you, but you're not alone, you have a community here who understands.

[IWantToHaveHope in reply to Hidden]

thank you Milan12, it's very kind of you to always spend time to support me. you definitely deserve a romantic partner with such lovely personality. I think for people who have visible difference need a long time to let people get used to their look and finally fall in love for who they are. I hope we both will meet some really kind people who care about us and love us the way we are. do you think you there is some community in your region for people with facial difference to meet up, i think it is the best way to feel less alone in life.

[Hidden in reply to IWantToHaveHope]

Thank you for your kind comments. I just want to help really. I know it feels like to be in your position, so I know that you need the support. Yes, I think it does take people a long time for people to like us for who we are. I'm not sure, I'll have to have a look. Do you think you'll see a mental health professional about how you're feeling?