Scare to go out and deeply rejected

[Diana118]

Hi my name its Diana and i have 25 years old,i have a disease on my eye and i have vertical strabismus in one eye and ptosis and eyelid retraction in both eyes. I been bullied and abused almost all my life,i am lucky that i have few friends and family that loves me. Since 18 years old i was dealing with starings,laughs and sick faces of people. Lately like two months ago since the pandemic its present i noticed that people attacks me more,they insult me and make me treats such as: shes scary she cant be between us,she needs to get locked etc. Im really depressed and i am really scare to go out,it happens to me everywhere neither there were bus drivers that didnt want me to get inside the bus. I am really sad o come back to my country to the house of my mother because i couldnt handle the situation anymore ( i was moved alone to Israel 2 years ago).Did someone notice that during the pandemic the abuse towards them for being different went worst? I dont know what to do anymore i am hopeless.

[DolaChangingFacesUK]

Hello Diana, welcome to the community. It must be really hard being bullied and abused because of your visible difference, to the point of feeling depressed and scared to go out. People can be so insensitive and uncaring sometimes. It's sad to hear that you've had to return home to your mother's because the abuse became worse during the pandemic. I hope you're finding comfort in being in your home country with your mother and hopefully others who know and love you for who you are. Thank you for sharing your experience here and I hope others will come alongside to offer some support.

Kind regards,

Dola

[danjos]

Hi Diana, sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. Are people really insulting you further since Covid?, how harsh.

I have self inflicted injuries to my face and neck, I find it very difficult to leave the house, because I used to be very attractive, being like this now makes me feel lost. Btw I am 41 years old, at least you have age on your side x

I am learning that people who judge you are not worth your attention, and my method now to cope, is not to focus on anyone, but the task I am doing x

[ThurmanMurman]

That sounds real shitty the way people have been treating you. It is not fair and is not your fault. I did notice people have been reacting a little more negatively than usual during the pandemic. I was born with a facial vascular malformation and I started a new job during the pandemic. Many coworkers would ask my team members whether or not I was contagious. I never really experienced that reaction before. Anyway, I got fired.

[danjos]

Well those people are shallow, and we all have to be strong x

[Cat2005]

Hi Diana. I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling and I wish I could offer a magic fix but overcoming other people's prejudice is a difficult thing to do. Growing up I had similar experiences to you because of my facial disfigurement and it has had a lasting impact on me. I'm middle aged now and still feel the pain of the rejection based on how I look, especially since it still happens. However, I have things I want to do with my life and I've never allowed my looks to stop me discovering the world. I haven't travelled much but I've found that people in the UK are particularly judgemental about facial disfigurement and almost take it as a personal insult when they have to accept and look at my face. Perhaps it's just that I tend to make friends with open-minded people and I've met a lot of people like that when travelling so it emphasizes the small-minded folk I'm used to at home. We don't tend to see many/any people with visible difference on TV or in the public eye so the general public isn't at the point of being used to our differences and people often behave strangely with what they don't understand. I always look people in the eye and make them aware that I know they're staring by returning the stare or using my hand to cover up the part of my face they're staring at, forcing them to look me in the eyes. It upsets me to have to do these things but I hope that each generation gets more accepting of visible differences. Try to be assertive when you are faced with offensive behaviour. Show that their words mean nothing to you because you have a lovely life that you enjoy and you have so much to experience and so many great people still to meet - please don't allow these small-minded, inexperienced, people to hold you back. Let them stay in their closed worlds if they wish but you get out and enjoy life! You will meet great people who care about your character, not your face; the things you have in common, not what's different. Sending you love and prayers. 🙏