Current emotions : I've been gone for a while... - Changing Faces

Changing Faces
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Current emotions

Bettrluv
Bettrluv
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I've been gone for a while. Just feeling rlly empty lately, the hopelessness isn't effecting me as much as it used to though. I still hate my face, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that it can't be changed. I always wish to wake up in a different body someday. I hate who I am. How I look, and I've even put on some weight lately. I try to distract myself by dying my hair bright colors, so people will notice that instead of my ugly face. I feel like my boyfriend thinks I'm ugly deep down, and that he just stays with me because of my personality. I wish I wasn't so caught up on how I look. It feels that being pretty is more important than anything for me. I know how unhealthy that is. I've had many friends who are stunningly beautiful. I always felt I was in their shadow. I always felt they put me last because I wasn't as gorgeous as their other friends. I still feel this way sometimes. I am always the ugliest one in pictures with my friends, because of how lopsided my face is. I always want to crop myself out. I've seen how much kinder the world can be to people with pretty faces. I've been bullied for years for my appearance. I sometimes just wanna blame all my problems on how I look. For the longest time I couldn't get a job for some reason. I am a very kind and outgoing person, yet my beautiful friend managed to score 3 jobs in the span of a week. ( and we both lacked job experience so..?) I just didn't get it, I feel like people just hate looking at me and as a result they don't want to hire me. My ex left me because he fell for a prettier girl who happened to be this friend who scored all the jobs. I am tired of trying so hard to feel good about myself and failing every time. For so long I have been teased, rejected, and abused for how I look. I wish I could pinpoint exactly what is wrong with me. I know my face is deformed, I just don't know why? Or how? I'm crying in the parking lot rn alone in my car at 12:00 midnight. At this point in my life I am tired, so tired. Hopefully things will look up soon.

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principessar16

*hugs* I'm so sorry you feel this way. I hope it helped to write the post. I've certainly gone through moments in my life when I felt this way, too. In my experience, time helps and so does insisting on your own right to be happy. I know that's a lot easier said than done.

Maybe if you chat with your boyfriend about how you feel? I used to worry that my partner would regret being with me or would be socially ostracized for dating/marrying me, and just talking those things through with her really has helped. I bet there are things about your face that your boyfriend thinks are beautiful that you haven't thought of.

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PB58
PB58Community Ambassador

I am so sorry you are feeling desolate at this moment in time. It seems as though everything is dark but it will pass. Hold tight, reach out for support & you will get through this. Remember that it’s always darkest before the dawn & you are strong, you have proved that to yourself constantly throughout your life. Sending you strength & hugs.

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Confidenceiskey

I hope you are feeling better today. Sometimes I feel we try too hard to feel positive about how we look. it makes us acutely aware of the differences we have. Sometimes this actually makes everything worse, I first aimed for accepting the way I looked especially when we learn we can’t change the way we look. If you can’t manage that maybe try lessen the amount of focus on your physical appearance. This is a difficult journey but it is just that a journey where you can take a few steps back but in the end still move forward. I hope this helps I’m here If you need to talk.

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DolaChangingFacesUK
DolaChangingFacesUKAdministrator

Hey there! I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. It sounds like things have really gotten on top of you, and that can be so very hard. Yet beneath all that, it sounds like you are a great person to be with. You think your boyfriend stays with you because of your personality - Well, that sounds like an AMAZING personality to me! And it's good of you to admit that you are a very kind and outgoing person. I'd say tap into your good side, you have got something going for you. As for your friend getting 3 job offers, yeah, life can be unfair and some of us might have to invest more than others to get what we want. But somebody needs to show the world that there is more to life than looks. That is why we at Changing Faces HQ work so hard challenging discrimination and campaigning for a world that respects difference. Don't give up Bettrluv, you've got friends here who care.

Luv to ya.

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