Alopecia, Rosacea and Severe Depression

[Didi661]

Hello

I am new this site.

I have been affected by Alopecia of my scalp, eyebrow and eyelashes since 2016

The following year my father died and everything that followed was nothing but greed from other members of the family over money.

Left exhausted and alone my condition worsen until only less than two months ago a physician prescribed me the wrong HRT, progestin only.

Just 10 pulls enough to trigger a massive and unrecoverable hair loss and worse

“Rosacea”. It all happened in the evening with my face swelling huge and could see all capillaries broken on my skin and eyes. Even massive acne.

It is changing constantly and it’s this fear of the worse that I cannot longer cope, let alone not eat.

I had the most beautiful skin and now that all of my face is compromised I simply feel suicidal.

Is it bad lack or that some people have it the worse.

I am so lonely.

[Gorgonite]

Hi. I wish I had some advice but I've got nothing. Just wanted to say that I hear what your saying and I hope that you can get it sorted. Please don't do anything silly. There is alot of people going through similar things. I know that's no help but know that life goes on. It won't be the same but you'll adapt. We all have to.

[Didi661]

Hi Gorgonite,

Thank you for your response and wise comments.

At this stage I am no longer sure what fear is worse, if the disfiguration or the total isolation from this world.

I did not account for being completely alone for the rest of my life. Sadly, at the moment this is the case and it all happened very quickly with the additional onset of Rosacea.

What life is it worth living ALONE?

I have no family of my own (a complicated past) and since the loss of my father, the one true love who could still heal my pain, no one left.

Without love what is the purpose of our existence?

In this very dark stage thoughts are spinning in all directions...how much one can endure, how long for. Why.

[younique in reply to Didi661]

I understand your sorrow. It feels good to have people to share life with, to be included, to not feel burdened by loneliness and isolation. That's why we are here, this forum. You aren't alone! I know it's not the same as having people in your immediate life. But there really are people out there who will love you and accept you for exactly who you are. Your contributions to this world matter. I've experienced the same depression.. feeling locked in a hell I didn't choose. Feeling that life is unfair because people are way too concerned with how people look. I hope one day we can be accepted too. That's why i believe it's my responsibility to be strong. And why I try to focus on the good in my life, not only see what I lack or what I long to change that never changes. I'm so tired of people rejecting me, staring, making fun, walking away, being uncomfortable looking at me. It's so exhausting. And leads to horrible anxiety. I just can't understand it, I can't solve it, I can't fix it. So I must endure. And try to be the best version of me no matter how Im feeling or how people react to me. We owe it to ourselves. ❤️❤️❤️

[Hollick in reply to younique]

really appreciate what you had to say..thanks