YES 🙌 I NEED YOUR HELP : My name is Mike... - Care Community

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Mikedbrown5 profile image

My name is Mike from California and I have been a care provider for my Dads Parkinson’s + my Mom’s Dementia since 2019. This job is so stressful and I need help

8 Replies
sassy59 profile image

Welcome to the Care Community Mike, you’re certainly doing a terrific job there but a very stressful one too. Is there any help available to you? I’m afraid I don’t know how things work in California. I sincerely hope you can get some respite from caring for your parents as you do need to look after yourself too.

Please stay in touch as this is a supportive group. Take care xx

Callendersgal profile image

Hello Mike. I see that sassy59 has welcomed you to the community and just adding my own welcome too. I hope you'll find a bit of an oasis here, as it certainly sounds as though you have an enormous burden of care in looking after your parents' needs.You didn't say what your biggest needs are in terms of help but I'm sure that stress and lack of time must be among them, and you can be assured of a shoulder here for you to use when you need to share your worries. Hoping we can be of help to you and wishing you well!

Hi Mike welcome sounds like your taking on far too much you need to look after yourself too it's impossible to care for one person alone let alone 2 unless your a absolute Saint I tried with one couldn't do it bless you keep posting were here for you 🤗💐

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Oh Mike. Welcome to the community, it's great to meet you.

It is the carers that are often forgotten by politicians, they never ask who cares for the carers? You need a regular break. I take it that you are an only child or your siblings would be helping too. What about your local church? I know that if someone came to our church door, Christian or not, and had a need like you, we would certainly do all we could to help. It is worth a conversation with the Minister, nothing to lose. They may have people that would volunteer to either take your parents out for a few hours or sit with them while you go out yourself for some 'me' time. Are there any hospices that would take them for a weekend? I would call on Mr Google and have a look. Don't be afraid to approach a charity to see if they can help. Let us know how you get on. Martin.

Some friends of mine have a similar problem. Father broke a hip and can't speak understandably step mother has dementia. They were exhausted. They got help from Visiting Angels. Might be worth checking out.

Dear Mike, I sooooo get you!! My mum too has Parkinson’s and broke her hip back in March and my dad is 84 with COPD, kidney cancer and I think the beginnings of dementia too.

No kidding you, it’s nearly finished me off looking after them. The Parkinson’s particularly I find so hard.

I don’t know about you, but the thing I long for the most is respite. I can go out to town but I long for a complete day or week where I can live like a normal 43 y/o! Where I can be care free , book a holiday, leave stuff over the floor without worrying it will be a trip hazard. Just laugh and smile again.

I don’t know the system in the US so can’t help practically, but can certainly share the frustrations and feelings of going mad , whilst trying to care lovingly and patiently.


Hi Mikedbrown5,

Has your parent's doctor recommended an Adult Day Care program during the week so they can be helped by Caregivers/Day Care Center Staff? There are some programs that deal with Parkinson's/Alz. Disease and other forms of Dementia. Please ask the doctor for a list. I hope this helps. :-)

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