What can I do to help me have a less stressful life?

[Thoms98]

I am a carer for my husband----10 years with Parkinson's Disease--- for the last year I have had all kinds of investigations and no diagnosis. I sleep very badly and wake up with shortness of breath and anxiety problems. I have seen the Doctor ,take a larger dose of anti-depressants. Have an irregular heart beat, and take blood thinning tablets. The slightest knock causes bruising and bleeding. For the past six weeks I have had heavy vaginal bleeding. I have had a procedure and there is no evidence of a problem.

[bantam12]

Oh goodness you need further investigations for the heavy bleeding, there has to be a reason and possibly connected to your blood thinning meds so keep pestering your GP otherwise you will become very anaemic and even more unwell. My husband has been on blood thinning tablets in the past and they've caused haemorrhage problems.

[Daisy55]

It sounds as if it is time to look after you , and get a full team support in for your husband . I know how difficult that is , but when we become unwell ourselves , we must become the priority. I was always guided to just make sure the one you care for is safe and cared for , then you need to get better and stronger yourself and have some joy in your life , as that helps so much with the whole situation. Big hugs to you x

[sassy59]

Hello Thoms, that doesn’t sound good and you do need to be properly diagnosed and cared for. It’s hard to be carer for your husband when you are ill yourself.

Try and get more support and get your GP to look at you again and perhaps refer you to a specialist.

I do wish you well. Xxxx

[Hellebelle]

Hello Thoms, first of all, big hugs from me. My mum cared for my dad with a Parkinsons condition for many years to the detriment of her health. Eventually, we persuaded both if them to have carers and it has transformed their lives. My mum said that she is now a wife again rather than a stressed out carer. Obviously, because of my dad's condition she still has to look after him inbetween care visits but the heavy physical tasks are undertaken by dad's carer. I don't know whether you have had a care needs assessment from the local authority? Once this is done a financial assessment can be performed and you could be entitled to help towards it. Apologies if you know all this already.

Also, please please look after yourself. The strain you are under is enormous and my heart goes out to you. It sounds as if you need further investigation with your bleeding. I agree with all that has been said before. Do you have someone who could visit the GP with you. It's difficult to be assertive when you are feeling low. A friend or member of the family could help support you and give you strength. Your life is precious also and you need some enjoyment and TLC as well. Lots of love to you.

[Hidden]

Hi Thoms98,

I think that a lot of your symptoms of stress, (like the inability to sleep), are caused by your extreme worry over your own physical condition on top of all the worries that come with being a carer, especially for such a long time.

If you can somehow manage to find out what's physically wrong with you, you'll feel a bit better. Only your doctor can really reassure you as we could only guess at what might be wrong with you, but it is possible that if there is no other evidence present, your prolonged vaginal bleeding and bruising may be related to your blood-thinning drug.

But I'm adding something else here and I don't want to worry you unnecessarily, but this is something I feel strongly about. I have a close friend who, like you, was assured that there was 'no abnormality' on examination for a heavy vaginal bleed. She refused to accept that was the case, and fought tooth and nail for further investigations. It was subsequently discovered that she had uterine cancer. She has now had a hysterectomy and follow-on treatment and is currently cancer free, but she then discovered that there is an active effort in some health authority areas to discourage hysterectomy and she appears to have been a victim of that, and is campaigning to get it changed.

So please, whilst I wouldn't want to add extra worry in your life, do pursue this with your doctor until you feel happy, (not your doctor), that everything is OK. Don't be fobbed off.

[Thoms98 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your support. I had a visit to-day from the Community Medical Team.They are going to look at support and advice for me.I feel that I have someone caring for me.

[Hidden]

Hello Thoms98,

My poor mum has now been transferred from hospital to an Elderholme were she will hopefully get extra physio and the hospital saidq that she needs a "care needs assessment" which this elderholme is supposed to give her

Have you asked your doctor to prescribe a beta blocker for your irregular heart beat? It might be palpitations due to all the worries and anxieties you have. I maybe wrong but you have to look at it from all angles. It mybe better tgan blood thinning tablets?

I get palpitations a lot and panic attacks because not only my poor mum having been transferred from hospital to an Elderholme I worry myself sick over my dad been her main carer and not having a minute to himself. He has to travel out of town changing buses to see mum as he can't drive .

He's done lots of long walks to the bus stops and its just gone and waitimg another hour for one so he only has two drinks a day and he doesnt seem to like cooking much as he doesnt have time for a substantial meal I do encourage him. Now on top of all that I suffer from Refractory Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which is a disability in itself and as a result of excess extreme anxiety I suffer from heavy vaginal bleeding that lasted me over 3 wees then I was due again. I had examinations etc by a gyneacologistike you and no sign of any problems except anxiety and worry affect female hormones approx ten years ago now whiich is now getting a bit better with a 'progesterone only pill " norethisterone. You may be sufering from dysfunctional uteriine bleeding too Try asking to see a gyneacologist. I dont seep very well my insimnia gas returned again it takes hours to get off to sleep

. But no I don't get breatess ... but my dad does when he is round theshops or making these long daily journeys ti see mty mum. He finds himself rushung around everywhere and he said he cant keep up with it all . He often gets breathless and tired walking up and down ateep hills to bus stops. I hope this helps you.

[healthyviv]

I discovered EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on youtube. It really works if you keep doing it. Hope it helps. Not sure about the vaginal bleeding tbh. X