Most carers, if they think about their future life, are looking forward to a day at some point when there is time to think about themselves again.
But of course this often comes at a huge cost, with the loss of a loved one and that loss can eclipse the pleasure you might otherwise have felt at finding yourself with more time on your hands.
This week we heard of two sad family deaths from members of our group and it recalled for me the time when my mum died and life suddenly changed for us all.
It particularly affected one of my sisters who had been my mum's main carer, having lived locally to her, and although we all missed mum terribly when she died, we mostly relished our new freedoms, except for this one sister who became stuck in the moment. She talked incessantly about mum and all the problems she'd faced with her over the last few years and really found it hard to let go. It took many months before she had other topics of conversation and even more for her to find new interests. It was hard to know what to say to help her, as she didn't even realise it was happening to her.
One of the common early feelings is relief that your loved one won't suffer any more, followed by a sense of relief that it's over for you, and a warm sense of having done all that you could do, but.... what now?
I scoured the internet looking for sources of help and found a great article written by the Marie Curie organisation which I'll share with you via a link below. You may not even want to contemplate what might come to pass in the future, but it might be worth taking a look, or keeping the link in case you feel it might be useful for you in the future when your feelings may, for a time, be very mixed. Hope you find it helpful!
mariecurie.org.uk/help/supp...
Picture: Mabel Amber, Pixabay
Merry Christmas to all of the Care Community
Mum's care - an update
Caring and shielding 
We found care at home
Caring for my mother
the best thing is ti try to keep hold of something while you are caring.
then you have something to hold on to
in my case it was 2 hours respite at my allotment
typing is hard so no more now
Great advice as ever FredaE! Lovely to hear from you. I hope you are recovering well. Lots of love to you💕
I think that's really sage advice FredaE! (I can understand it must be difficult to type under current circumstances so thanks so much for managing to continue to join in, and I hope that you are still making progress in your recovery!)
Good idea Freda. Thank you for those wise words. Xxx❤️