After the Caring's done...: Sadly we seem to... - Care Community

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After the Caring's done...

Callendersgal profile image

Sadly we seem to have heard of two or three losses of loved ones among members of the Care Community over past weeks.

Sometimes we seem never to hear from them again after that, and that always seems such a pity. But I do totally get it, of course.

Along with the grief usually comes a sense of huge relief of the job being over and a need for some rest and recuperation, and going off and doing all those things that you haven't had time to do for so long.

But when you feel a bit more relaxed I hope you'll consider coming back, even just occasionally! We rely so much on the expertise that the people at the 'coal face' have acquired and you are one of those treasured 'skilled' people who can really help and support others on their journey.

So please do give us a thought and come and say 'hi' now and again.

17 Replies
sassy59 profile image

Well put as always Callendersgal. Xxx


I still come to look on here as I belong to other groups with other health conditions.


Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to klr31

So glad to hear Karen.

klr31 profile image
klr31 in reply to Callendersgal

Think this is a great website for various things. So glad I found it.


Thank you Callendargal, well put. Hopefully, it will allow those who have lost loved ones recently to still feel part of the community, and know we are supporting them in their grief.

Best wishes to all,

MAS Nurse and Moderator

I think one can also feel quite 'lost' after the caring role is done, even if it's a relief too.


Even though the person you've cared for is no longer with you, there's other ways to care for people, my sister has been mum's carer and what I've done over the years is care for the carer, my sister, because that helps her to help mum, something else that nearly happened recently, one of the ladies in my reading group who is elderly had a fall at home so a couple of weeks later I took a blank card to the meeting thinking we could all sign it so the lady knew we were thinking about her, but thankfully she'd recovered and was able to come to the meeting, so there's nearly always someone who might be glad to see someone popm in for coffee, or just a card through the door to say 'hello'

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Jennymary

So true Jennymary, in all that you say.

Hellebelle profile image
Hellebelle in reply to Jennymary

That's so true. My sister lives next to my mum and dad and although I visit and stay over as often as I can, my sister uses our house to have a break. We live in the middle of the countryside with lovely views from the garden so she can have a bit of much needed relaxation.

Its so important to look after carers because it can be physically and emotionally draining.

lell1 profile image
lell1 in reply to Jennymary

they are so lucky to have u on board too!

Thank you Callendersgal. I would reply more to posts but often read them hours or days after they've been posted because I have so many other things going on, and then feel it appears too late to reply. I agree with you about once the caring role is ended there may be a feeling of relief, but I am dreading the actual time ahead as I know we are approaching that. On the other hand my hubby and I look forward to the freedom of being able to go out together somewhere we would like to go, and not have to rush back for a particular time. Having said that, mom had her 84th birthday last Thursday, despite assuring us many times she was going to leave us when she was 83! Unfortunately her swallowing is deteriorating but I have lady from SALT coming next week to see if she can advise how to help. One positive point hubby's doctor has agreed his sleep problem is beyond his capabilities and is organising an appointment with a specialist. Can't come too soon. To all the carers and former carers out there, stand tall and be proud of what you are doing/have done. It isn't an easy task but we are valued by a lot of people, not least by the person we are caring for, even though they may not say, or be able to say. I will always remember a few years ago when mom could still talk and as I turned her light off at night, she would say thank you for looking after me. Those memories keep me going now. Take care everyone.

lell1 profile image
lell1 in reply to XSitch38

Hows things with ur mum Xstitch?

XSitch38 profile image
XSitch38 in reply to lell1

Lost mom on 19 November. Slowly adjusting to being without her but has been really hard.

lell1 profile image
lell1 in reply to XSitch38

Sorry to hear that pet. It is never easy to lose someone you know and the only comfort at this time is that the pain is not ur mums. Life is another 4 letter word that we are left with. U will learn to live a new 'normal' but that doesn't mean that u can't speak with ur mum.

XSitch38 profile image
XSitch38 in reply to lell1

Thank you. When I go into her room, which will be our lounge, I always say morning to her. Funeral 18th so hope will be better once that milestone reached.

lell1 profile image
lell1 in reply to XSitch38

Rotten time of year to lose somebody (not that there's a good time!) will b thinking of u on 18th.

How's things Xsitch38?

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