My dads birthday

[fallen_leaf]

Yesterday was my dad’s birthday. I went to see him and my mom in hospice. He had me take a picture of the two of them. He went home to rest and I stayed until I had to get my girls from school and he returned. My mom passed away at 12:32 am this morning. None of us were there. Maybe like you said. They pass away when alone. She was just holding on for my dad’s birthday.

[MEW53]

Sorry to hear about your Mum, yesterday was my Dad’s birthday, so I paid a visit to the crematorium where I have a family bench. My Mum passed away in hospital in the early hours in 2013 and she was alone.

Lovely that your Mum stayed for your Dad’s birthday.

Best wishes to you and your family.

[Jennymary]

Sorry for your loss, thinking of you and your family at this time xxx

[Lynd]

Very sad news. I hope you in time will take comfort from happy memories.

Take care x

[sassy59]

I think you’re right fallen _leaf, your mom was holding on for your dads birthday.

Heartfelt sympathies to you and your family and strength to you to get through this very sad time.

Thinking of you all. Xxxx

[doglington]

Sorry for your loss.

Chris also hung on for our sons arrival. Every one was there. He was at home and waited until I left to answer the phone. Apparently this happens a lot.

Love Jean xx

[Hellebelle]

Sending lots of love to you. You did everything you could to make her last days as comfortable as possible.

This quite often happens. People wait until they are alone. It happened to my Auntie whom was looking after her elderly mother. She just popped out of the room to get a drink and her mother passed away. She felt so guilty, but she had been with her almost constantly and did all she could for her.

Your mum is now at peace. ❤

[Hidden]

So sorry for your loss.

[Hidden]

My deepest condolences to you fallen_leaf. I am so sorry for all of you. You must all feel devastated and bereft right now. But I hope you will come to feel a sense of having done everything you possibly could for your mom in her last days and hours. It's sad that none of you was able to be there in person, but she died knowing how loved and cared for she was.

As you and sassy59 have said, maybe she hung on for your dad's birthday. She's at rest now. No more pain or sorrow and maybe she just wanted to slip away quietly.

Thinking of you all at this sad time.

[FredaE]

Deepest sympathy for you. My husband waited until our daughter travelled home from France. She was coming anyway at the end of the week when she had aranged a lift with a friend. Another friend told her not to wait and when we phoned to say come she was already on her way. We told him all day that she was coming and would be here in the evening. They had a lovely "conversation" wordless on his part ,and he died as soon as we had settled for the night. sometime after midnight. We are quite sure he waited for her and was ready to go. It was very sad but one of our most treasured memories

FredaE

[lell1]

Hi fallen leaf. How's things with you?

[fallen_leaf in reply to lell1]

I’m ok. I cry almost everyday. Haven’t gotten much done

[lell1 in reply to fallen_leaf]

Hey Fallenleaf, don't be hard on yourself! You can't expect yourself to be up to doing stuff at the same pace as you would usually! This is a hard time and drains both psychologically and physically. Lighten the load by not worrying bout stuff, share jobs if you can, make small steps that you can cope with...talk with your mum if that helps! Listen to music, find a field to stand in and scream at the top of your voice! The gist is, do what you need to do to make things less harsh

[lell1]

How's things fallen_leaf?

[fallen_leaf in reply to lell1]

Hello thanks for checking on me. I’m not sure how I am. I was really emotional last week kept ugly crying and mood swings. Lately I’ve been really grouchy. I have no patience.

[lell1 in reply to fallen_leaf]

All quite normal I'm afraid! There is no shortcut but you will learn to live with losing ur mum. Being angry and frustrated, feeling alone and isolated, wing exasperated and intensely sad are all things we experience with loss. Am glad to see that u still visit us here. Caring is more than looking after others, it's about looking after us too.