Yes I understand completely. My late mother in law would say things she didn’t really mean. It’s so hard but you can’t take it personally. Thinking of you all. Xxxx
Very true JAS but it’s the disease talking, not your dad. Xxxxx
Hi JeffAjaxSmith,
I can hear from your post that you are feeling quite down about everything this morning, and I can absolutely understand why. If we look after someone with a purely physical illness, we usually eventually get to see them recovering and feeling better.
But there's no feel-good factor with Alzheimers or any kind of dementia. In fact the reverse is true, and when it's a close loved one, as your dad is to you, it must strike a terrible blow to your heart.
I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better, but, to be honest, there is a special kind of hell in watching a loved one become someone far different to the one you first knew. Even worse, when that person is a parent, who was once so strong for you and helped you with your decision making, and made you into the person you are today.
But once again, I think you should think about yourself for a moment. You are doing a fantastic job, through love and caring for your dad. It's as tough as anything in life can be, but overridingly, you are doing the right thing and you can be proud of the care that you continuously give him. Not every parent is as lucky to have someone like you in their hour of need.
So all I can do really is to wish you courage and fortitude. There's no happy ending, except that, one day, when looking back, you'll know you did all that you could have done. And more.
Morning JAS! Sad times and I understand as I've written on this forum about my mum who had severe dementia,several hospital admissions due to her falling and breaking her pelvis,femur .....list goes on. Then when the operations had been and gone the dementia I believe,was the cause of a colossal stroke from which she was
left paralysed on her left side,blind and unable to swallow so had to be fed by tube. It was like being in a sadistic horror film so I only prey that my dear mum was unable to comprehend any of this. The Doctors have her a few days to live but bless her she didn't let go for a further couple of weeks.
My point being, dementia is cruel beyond words and not just for the patient but for their nearest and dearest. Hang on in there JAS. You can do nothing other than try to make dad's life less painful and a short trip out organised by social services could well prove to be a good move. Keep your chin up!
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Well dad’s home 🏠 
