Help caring for my wife with COPD and osteo... - Care Community

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Help caring for my wife with COPD and osteoarthritis

Chine49 profile image

Hello my name is Chris Hineand i carer for my wife Sandra who suffers from COPD and osteoarthritis. These two diseases she suffers from limits her almost 100% as COPD affects the lungs which affect breathing osteoarthritis affect the joint which affects her movement I can't think of two diseases someone has got which almost makes you as a vegetable I'm not a person to ask for help but has a carer I desperately need someone to talk about the situation can anyone in the same situation as mine give me some advice or help please.

12 Replies

Hello Chine

I am so sorry about your situation.

You will find lots of carers on here and we all coping with different conditions.

Do you have any help at all?

Do you have family or carers coming in to give you a hand?

Have you had a carers assessment from social service?

Many of us find help is pretty thin on the ground and it can be an isolating experience.

Sometimes the whole situation can get to be too much.

Lots of people on here who will understand.

Chine49 profile image
Chine49 in reply to Lynd

My wife is currently receiving pip and we have a mobility car and as her carer I get £66 pound a week .which iam most grateful for.allso my wife receives e.s.a. in witch we are grateful as well.but my biggest concern is my wife's quality of life.we live in my deceased parents 5 bed room council house. Witch I took over the rent book when my father died. But now there is only the two of us and two flights of stairs .its to much for my wife to cope with .so have been advised to contact occupational therapy and have explained this to my wife's GP many of times to no avail. Not the gp we ask at her hospital appointments as well but just pushed from pillar to post,

Lynd profile image
Lynd in reply to Chine49

I find it interesting about the house because I know councils are desperate for properties with several bedrooms.

Is it possible for you to vist your housing dept to explain the situation.

If not can you phone them.

They may want medical evidence but a letter from the GP should be enough.

You could do with living on one level and I am sure they would find you something.

The other thing you could try is speaking to your MP and ask if they will assist you.

I know when my mother wanted to move from a house to a flat they couldn't move her quick enough.

You have a good bargain chip with five bedrooms so when you do get sorted make sure it is somewhere you feel happy with and not just accept any old thing.

May I ask what you mean by being pushed from pillar to post? What is actually happening?

Lynd profile image
Lynd in reply to Lynd

Sorry also meant to ask is the property still council or is it now Housing Association. I know many councils have give up their properties to housing Associations.

Chine49 profile image
Chine49 in reply to Lynd

It is l&q .

Lynd profile image
Lynd in reply to Chine49

Looks like a Housing Association.

Have you spoken to them directly?

Have to go to bed now but hopefully chat again tomorrow. X

Welcome Chine and sorry to hear about your wife’s health problems. You’ve had a good reply from Lynd and I also think that moving from your 5 bed house would be a good idea.

Take care xxxxxx

Hi Chris,

Welcome to our forum and I hope you'll find some useful support and information here. I guess that every caring situation is an individual one but there are similar problems in most cases that seem to crop up time and time again. And one of those always seems to be the frustration at the limited amount of help that's available to help carers cope.

In your own case I think that Lynd's advice is spot on. You are hanging on to a property that no longer works well for you, and it might be time to consider getting a move to somewhere else that won't be such hard work for you to continue caring adequately for your wife. And might give you both a better quality of life through your having more time and less tiredness.

So I'd really endorse the idea of getting in touch with your housing association. Generally speaking they are delighted to get their hands on larger properties and the only thing that might take time and thought is making sure you get a suitable property that would work for you in exchange.

But I'd certainly think about giving that a go.

Meantime, very best wishes to you both, and I hope that you can find a solution to make both of your lives more pleasant.

Do please come back at some point and let us know how you are getting on.

Hello again

I was thinking of your post and I wondered did you want the Occupational Therapist to authorize alterations to your property.

I think you might have problems with that due to the property being to large for you both. I might be barking up the wrong tree but I know the thought of moving is daunting especially after being there for a long time.

Hi Chine, I'm a carer for mum who is memory impaired, asthma breast cancer & arthritis. I have arthritis, gout in hands and respiratory failure so I can understand both sides of your situation.

I dont often post but I do read in here a lot, there's a lot of fab advice and knowledge, plus emotional support.

The housing is a big issue. As others have said the need for larger homes should be a bargaining point. Our area has property pool online. Once registered you can view lists of vacancies and bid. If your area uses this then register.

My mum wont accept help from others plus she doesn't have any sort of routine so wouldn't fit in with a carer calling to slap a flannel at her then run off to next victim, in sorry I should say client!

Please dont be grateful for payments you are entitled to, they dont part with money if they can help it.

Your wife should be able to make self referral for Occupational Therapy assessment, if shes not able to talk a long time you can call, introduce her then get her to give permission for you to talk about her in her presence ( data protection).

Some simple bits of kit can help. The way you do things can also help.

I have a thing that fits in the car door as a handle getting in and out. A thick carrier bag on car seat helps turn to get legs into the car.

I have small over body handbags that have phone, inhaler, tissues, paper bag & door control.

We dont have carer alarm as we dont have anyone who can respond, however I got a pager system called Care Assist which can be set up with many Telecare pieces of kit.

Time for you or family to get on that computer to get things moving. If you cant access things come back here, someone will help.

All the best to you both x

Just a thought, dont pay for things until you've seen OT, find out what they may be able to provide.

Thinking of many people who've paid lots of money for unsuitable items, eg riser recliners and beds. Also, many items sold by big companies are greatly overpriced, we are a captive audience when we are desperate for help. Google is my best friend x

First thing to do is stop thinking that you can do this alone. Think about what would make your life easier and how to achieve it. There is help out there.

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