I am the main carer i.e. the buck stops here, for my 90 yr old mum. I should say now that I love her dearly because what I am about to write might make you think otherwise. Since my dad died 11 years ago I have moved from support for my mum to main carer.
In Jan 2018 she had a stroke and at the same time her bowel twisted. She has been diagnosed with dementia, has macular degeneration, is fed by PEG as she cannot swallow anything, chokes on her own secretions (we have a vacuum machine), has a stoma bag, has a heart condition, is v unsteady on her feet. The dementia means she forgets to use her frame, tries to walk off when the peg feed pump is in place (causing pain and inflamation), has actually cut the Peg tube, fiddles with her stoma bag causing it to leak. She also gets spontaneous bleeds on her legs which the nurses have to dress.
However, despite the dementia, anyone doing a home visit will not immediately realise there is anything wrong with her brain as she presents very well. The bowel resection now has adhesions which cause Mum’s bowel to block and she has been in hosp 5 times since her original discharge in April ‘18. I have to record her bowel movements and try to catch a blockage at a very early stage and then increase the medication to try and clear it. The DNS do not support me in this.
District nurses visit twice a day, and we have three carers a day, including me. I am there every day from 9am to 2pm and carers come late afternoon and evening. They call me to sort out the smallest problem. I have POA for finance, not health.
Mum’s dementia means that she is no longer safe at home so we are starting to think about a care home. I would think that she would qualify for Continuing Health Care, especially considering the PEG and the choking issues. But I do not think I can cope with a battle unless I have a realistic chance of success.
What do you think. Should I try? (We don’t get attendance allowance because Mum keeps going back into hosp and hasn’t been home for 13 straight weeks yet).