Lots of health problems

[vixs19]

COPD. ASTHMA. ARTHRITIS. PTSD. ANXIETY. OBESITY. and staying positive is so hard for me. I once was an very active person but now I find it hard to go swimming now. I have lost some weight but its been hard as I'm always on steroids and antibiotics. I'm also sad as my youngest son has enrolled in the army and all my 4 kids have left home now. It feels like iv done my job with the kids and my reward is a slow death I know it's a bit silly of me to think like that but I feel so low and don't know what's going to fill the void in my life now the house is empty...

[Hidden]

Are you able to get out? If so, find a charity shop and volunteer to help. You will meet lots of people and fill a hole left by the kids leaving. A slimming club will help you with the weight loss, I know it is hard as I take steroids too. Ask your doctor if he can help.

[vixs19 in reply to Hidden]

Yes thank you I will see my doctor again its a bit fresh at the moment xxxx

[Hidden]

Hi vixs,

I'm so sorry you are feeling so low and I do know how bleak life can become if we are lonely and feel that our job in life is done.

I think it's quite possible that all the gradual losses in your life and increasing health problems may have made you feel clinically depressed, and I really urge you to go and have a talk with your doctor about this.

Depression is a really common, real illness and affects so many people, some of whom find it really difficult to talk about it. But, if you can bring yourself to do that, with a GP, then there are things that can really help you to start getting over this 'hump' in your life. It might be in the form of medication, or a support group or both.

It's not a complete answer because the truth is that we can't ever be the people we were when younger, but we do have something amazing, and that's the 'wisdom of the elders', which is to say we can see to the heart of a problem very quickly and have a wealth of knowledge to help us to solve whatever problem it is. And on its own, I think that's well worth celebrating.

But you also need to strive to stay in touch with other people in whatever way you can. Even though it might be a struggle to get out much, see if you can find something close by where you can meet people and share the challenges you are finding with being older. Talking with your peers will show you that what you feel is ever so common to older people, and although in a way there is a sense of just passing your time, it's better than feeling useless on your own.

Even if you don't like the sound of any of the local groups, just join in and give it a try. You might also think about something like Esther Rantzen's Silver Line, maybe as a volunteer so that you talk on the telephone to others who have become even more isolated than you have.

What I'd say in your place is, 'I'm not going to let this happen to me. Although it feels like a fight, I'm going to try with all my might to stay in touch with people'.

But truly the road to feeling better is to go and address what might be a depressive state. Doctors have heard it all before many times, and will be able to help you take that first step.

Keep fighting. We still all have a place in this life and it can be pleasurable again, even if it's different to how it used to be.

Here at the Care Community we are all 'rooting' for each other. We really care about each others' challenges, so do also consider us as your friends, and come back to let us know when you need some friendly support, or you want to just offload. We are here waiting for you.

The very best of good wishes to you and I hope that you can find your way to some brighter days ahead.

Keep up your weight loss efforts. You are doing great!

[vixs19 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you your very right I need to keep my self busy and make some new friends xx

[sassy59]

Hello vixs19, I hope the replies you’ve already had have helped in some small way. It’s hard enough getting older without the added complications of ill health. I do wish you the very best of days ahead, new friendships and lots to occupy your day.

Love and hugs xxx 💕

[vixs19 in reply to sassy59]

Thank you 😁

[Jennymary]

Hi vixs, your situation is very different to mine (I don't have children), but it's very similar, I'm trying to fill the gap left by having to give up driving and consequently having most of my social life taken away, so just a couple of ideas for you to explore, shared Reading in a local library, this is where someone reads a short story (about 3 pages A4 paper), stops every so often for us to discuss the story, where I go there's a hot drink available if you'd like one and my sessions last about 1 1/2 hrs and up to you whether you go or not, I'm also waiting to hear back from NWR which you'll see I posted a question about this yesterday, if you're over 55 might be worth looking at a website called Linkage where they have plenty of activities available, also Wellaware have got plenty of activities, I do hope you find something soon, good luck xxxx

[vixs19 in reply to Jennymary]

Thanks for the reply yes I will look into that 👍

[starveycat]

Well I was in your position a few years ago. All left home but then I realized its my time. I learnt Tai Chi not too energetic and met some nice people we forget strangers are only friends we haven't met yet. Now a few years later hubby is disabled and I'm his career. Me well my prescription is three pages long. It makes life a challenge but some folks go through life never experiencing the challenges I face how boring !!!! I joined knit and natter group best thing I could do after laughing for a couple of hours I can go home and feel strong enough to cope. It's very easy to say go and do something but remember you have a lot to give years of experience.

Slow death nooooooo you are now starting your new life what a challenge enjoy good luck

[vixs19]

Thanks for your reply. I do a lot of crochet and make dream catchers and also knit my lounge is covered in it lol and I think the kids are sick of all the hats jumpers and blankets I make them lol 😊

[starveycat]

My friend knit hats for Prem babies just a thought

[lKeith]

vixs19

HI it must be hard to find the house empty of family, remember they have their own lives to lead now that they are grown . Most parents have the same empty feeling but yours must be a little more difficult in view of your condition. The forum is here to help and if people here can't lift you try the nurses or the admin people, we are all here to try to help and you are not alone so do get that thro'. There are outside agencies here to help, Try palliative care team in your locality, they have various contacts to help you and can point you in the right direction and please don't think they only help the dying they have helped me enormously and are worth the very salt.

You have opportunities take them & turn them to your advantage.

Keep smiling but do not think for one moment you are alone out funny thoughts behind you.

IKeith

[vixs19]

Thanks for the reply yes I am trying to get the help now. Best wishes