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Tales of an ex carer

Hi my name is Hazel. I used to care for my mum who had Alzheimers and vascular dementia. Sadly she died last November, but I have a wealth of knowledge caring for her. I cannot say the experience was easy, in fact it almost destroyed me. Then I came across an organisation that cared for carers and I got much better. I am still having counselling but my experiences will never leave me. I cannot understand why so many of us carers are so ignored and yet we do so much. I had a lot of abuse from my mother, people used to say 'it's the disease talking' but it is still hard to hear.

If you want to share, and it is good to share and talk about your experiences, then I am all ears. Good luck

6 Replies

Hi I'm caring for my husband with vascular dementia he's 80 and been diagnosed since Xmas last year .you r right it is hard work but love him so much .and do it on my own .


You deserve a medal. Really, you do. I can understand your feelings for your husband and as long as he is not too difficult to cope with then that's good. With a lot of dementia patients they can get verbally or physically aggressive then you must seek help for your own safety.

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exhaustedwife I noticed your other post and thought it might be useful to speak to this lady to find out which organisation helped her in her hour of need? Maybe you can share it with the others on your post too. I wish there was more I could do to help, I hope you can remain positive and find some time for yourself.


which organisation helped you so much? There is not a lot of help out there for carers.

Thank you


The organisation that helped me so much was the Carers Federation in Nottingham. Unfortunately the local council have closed this organisation and given the funding to Carers UK. They do not have any counselling service or support for recently bereaved carers. They seemed to be more geared to raising funds via their members for free. It's so sad that there is not more help out there for carers, but if you think we save the Government over £120 billion a year, I suppose they are saving more by not providing support?


Hello Hazel, have you found living life for yourself now?


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