What a mucking fuddle life can be.

[secrets22]

My partner David suffers vascular dementia and is totally immobile and bed bound and doubly incontinent,and I am on caring duties 24/7 without a break.

However, Lyn who comes in 3 times a week to assist me,tells me a lady she goes to who is very well off financially gets 4 weeks respite care for FREE every year,and I wonder if anyone else knows about this,as I am reaching the stage when I reluctantly need a break after 5 long years of caring and I know David would agree to spend a couple weeks in respite.

Any help or advice would be much appreciated...thankyou.

[sassy59]

Hi secrets22 try the Alzheimers.org.uk website as they may be able to guide you. Good luck and hope things work out well for you. Xxxxx

[Hidden]

Hi secrets22,

That must be really infuriating for you to learn, but do remember that not everything that's told to us anecdotally is absolutely true.

However you really do need some respite from this exhausting situation. You should probably start with your GP, and don't be bright, cheery and 'coping' when you are speaking about your need for a break. You shouldn't need to put on an Oscar winning performance, but it's so much easier for others to fob you off if you look as if you are coping OK.

Although you shouldn't even need to do it, lay on your exhaustion with a trowel. It is possible for you to have David cared for whilst you enjoy a very much needed break from your caring duties. You just need to make it known that it's long overdue and without it you'll crumble!

Best wishes and I hope you get through OK. Most GP's are actually very empathetic about helping to arrange this.

Do come back and let us all know how you get on!

[newlands]

I do hope you get the help you need ,and yes you are entitled to a break your gp can put the wheels in motion or social services

I ha e been in your position with my late husband I found out about the help to late

You take care

Dorot

[Hidden]

Our local 'Care for the Carers' arranges respite. See if you have a group near you, also contact Social Services.

[Jennymary]

Maybe Lyn could have an informal chat with the lady to see who arranged it for her, I agree with everyone else that you do need a break and I hope you get one soon xxx

[Vonnieruth]

Hi I am a senior and work in dementia Yes you can get respite You best contact your social worker and ask her to help you with this You can ask for a week or two with a view to extend The review again with view to to become permanent if you wish Best to discuss with social worker

[Hidden]

sorry to hear about your difficult position - i don’t know about the respite care but you are entitled to max of 4 visits a day - to get him up and dressed in the morning - lunch time break - tea break - and evening to bed help - they will see to his personal hygiene also. Hope this helps