Anyone else get paranoid of going out,it is an irrational fear due to circumstances & i cant face losing any more loved ones such as the fairly recent loss of my devoted much loved husband David,and now my much loved pet Eddie,and several associates ,it has brought me to the brink of despair,and each day i hear of more sadness.
I cannot change the way i am,nor should I,I am a sensitive,and an empath ,but it comes at a price.
One looks back and think,could i have been nicer,could i have done more,and yet i know i did everything i could have done,but still there is an element of guilt.
We are here but for a short time but the pain we go through is never ending.
I once had the belief that we will meet our loved ones again,but doubt now eclipses all that i held dear.
When one thinks of the millions that have gone before us,is it in the realms of reality that it is possible.
Most of my life has been trying for acceptance but we do live in a cruel world,where any form of caring is looked on as a weakness,non more so than with some family members.
To say i wish i had never been born is my truth,apart from meeting my David,it was my only respite from pain.