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Hassling Care Home?

Hello,

I don't live near the Nursing Home my father is in so tend to ring every day or every other day to see how he is but sometimes I get the feeling that I'm being a nuisance. Dad has complex health needs, both physical and mental (dementia), so I like to be kept informed even if I can't go in regularly due to the distance. Is this unreasonable?

Karen

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No it isn;t at all unreasonable. You are entitled to know how he is. Is he able to use a phone? If so you could talk to him occasionally too, if he is able, to see if there is anything worrying him (but do realise that it might not be correct. My mother assures me that if a different nurse is giving the medication, they give her the wrong ones -rubbish of course).

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Not unreasonable at all but ask when is the best time to ring. Hope things improve and your dad is well cared for. Xxxxx

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I do speak to him once or twice a week but, with the dementia, he can't remember anything so it's only a vague chat and he was very tired when I spoke to him on Friday. He's only just come out of hospital again so I'm a little worried as there's so much going on with his health. I don't know if the staff think I'm fussing or not but I seem to get different information depending upon to whom I am speaking. It's very frustrating. Change of management in the Home hasn't helped.

Karen

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Hi Karen,

No not at all and you shouldn’t stop calling. In fact, take your gut feelings very seriously and keep an even closer eye on what’s going on there.

If it’s that you are calling when everyone’s really busy, it’s easy enough for someone to ask you to call at a better time so that you can discuss how your dad’s doing in a relaxed and unhurried way.

You could try saying, in a light and non-accusatory way that you’re sorry to be a nuisance, just to see what reaction you get, which should of course be, not to be silly, of course you want and need to know how your dad is.

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Hi, as a previous nurse in a nursing home, your father would have a named nurse allocated to him plus a named care worker. It may be easier to find out medical information from his named nurse because they would be responsible for his Care Plan (which is a mandatory requirement) plus all medical information past and present, especially relating to hospital discharge information.

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