Care home management

How do I get the care home management where my dad resides to do what I ask and ensure they do. The manager has changed recently and the new one seems less efficient. There is a woman who is also in a managerial position but she isn't particularly nice, on the surface she is but not underneath and I don't think the staff like her much either. The care staff are lovely but a lot have left recently which is a worry. I feel that whenever I try to find something out or ask something I get fobbed off. I don't live nearby so it's a worry as dad has no one else.



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8 Replies

  • It is so difficult isn't it? My mother is in what is supposed to be the best home in the area (it's certainly the most expensive). I have the same problems, changes of management (and our last one was appalling despite the fact that the Regional Manager who was supposed to oversee things couldn't see anything wrong). We have a new one now and yes, things are better but I have the same issues as you - I ask for things to be done and they aren't, or else they are only half done. They wash mum every morning but if she has say, a red and sore toe, they never mention it to the nurse and the doctor doesn't see her. It is only when I go in and tell them they must treat it that anything is done, and then a change of staff (often agency ones) and it gets forgotten again.

    Apart from contacting the CQC there seems to be no answer and when I threatened to do this, I was asked 'do you think she would be happier elsewhere' - a veiled threat to not rock the boat - at 100 years old I cannot move her.

    Sorry, I can't help you - I wish I knew the answer and I live very close, it must be much more difficult if you cannot go in often. Is there any chance of moving him nearer to you?

  • If you notice any medical problems or anything that concerns you about your loved ones in care, and it is not acted upon then that is neglect, and should be reported to the manager. If there is still know action taken report it to Age uk or Age Concern or social services.

  • Karen -- I'm sorry to hear about the changes at your dad's care home. You might try putting your requests in writing if you haven't already done that. Are there any good care homes nearer to you?

  • Thank you for both replies. Yes, I keep wondering about moving him nearer but his health has been precarious and, when I suggest him coming to live nearer to me, he doesn't say he wants to. I worry that a move might kill him as the services are less around me and he needs a lot of professional input on an ongoing basis. I have spoken to a carer this afternoon and she says he seems okay even after she explained that we had come home. I will try to talk to him on the phone tomorrow. The carers are wonderful at the Home, it's just the management now who let the side down.

    Thanks for suggestions and input - I'm not the only one going through this. I just wish I didn't feel guilty when I leave!


  • 😏 I had to arrange for my elderly Uncle to go into full time care. Just finding somewhere that covered nursing as well, wasn't easy. He has Diabetes, for some reason it wasn't responding as expected to Insulin and he had regular hypos. Eventually, Dementia also kicked in, making him very vulnerable since he lived alone 10miles away.

    I settled on a Care Home about 5mins from where I live, although even when he moved in I still had misgivings because of the general opinion of Care Homes. This particular one is reasonably new, the rooms are ensuite and it doesn't really have that 'odour' lingering.

    He's still had several admissions to hospital since he moved in, mostly because of the difficulty in controlling Diabetes. I worry in case a Diabetic Diet isn't properly adhered to, and in the past staff have said my Uncle eats food from other people's plates because of the Dementia.

    Just last weekend he recognised me🙂 it doesn't happen often. He's mostly asleep or in a world of his own. But, I go regularly (I'm lucky it's nearby) and staff ring me if there's a problem. On occasion I've had 'words' with staff, though I'm loathe to really 'rock the boat' in case it backfires on my Uncle.

    If there was a real risk of 'lack of care' I'd like to think I'd be able to speak and be heard. I can see where a problem could arise due to a change of Manager, the smooth running depends on a happy team. Does your Dad have a designated Social Worker🤔 The person assigned to my Uncle prior to his admission to the Care Home was an absolute rock for me. Since admission, a different Health Authority has been involved, which has meant a new Social Worker. However, if the situation demanded it, I wouldn't hesitate to ask for advice.

    Initially, I fussed over his glasses going missing, slippers missing, even his false teeth went astray. Then I found that residents actually probably unintentionally 'mislaid' belongings themselves anyway 😏 On the one occasion I found him wearing a Ladies jumper, I bit my tongue, because he wasn't above helping himself to other people's clothes, Dementia🙄

    My Uncle has no-one else to step up for him😏xBeryl

  • I can understand your concerns as my dad has type 1 diabetes too and has had numerous problems with high blood sugar which I believe has become more unstable as dad has aged. There were only limited nursing homes when I was looking around for dad and he now gets nursing care. Dad has never had - and can't get - a social worker as he is self-funding but he does have a community diabetic nurse who keeps an eye on his Diabetic care in the Home. This is something at least. She advises the nurses about dad's insulin and his diet but, as staff change so regularly, it's difficult to know how much the information is being passed around.

    Yes, I agree - it's hard not to worry that if we rock the boat too much, our loved ones will suffer.

    Dad's health is the main reason I fear moving him plus he hasn't agreed that he wants to move nearer me. It would be a big upheaval for him.

    Thanks for replying.


  • Hello Klr31, to welcome to this friendly and supportive community. As you have seen folks on here are very willing to advise and support sharing their own experiences, so you are not alone. You are in a difficult position to, and it's tricky when you haven't got confidence in the home's managerial team, and I don't want rock the boat, and make things more difficult for your dad. Take a look at the pinned posts sections and click on the link " Care for Life Expert' and post your question to this individual as they might be able to give you some expert advice. An alternative would be to maybe have a chat with Citizens Advice Bureau or local social services to see if they can give you advice on the best course of action.

    Keep in touch.

    Best wishes

  • The Community Diabetic nurse who is overseeing dad's diabetes care has raised a safeguarding issue due to an agency nurse not following the care plan. There aren't any better nursing homes in the area but I don't know about around where I live. It's just that the hospitals and clinics are further away here as I live in a rural area. So hard to know what to do for the best as I don't want to disrupt him and cause further deterioration in his health.


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