Hello everyone ,well Mam continues to deteriorate the family try to get there daily I am traveling about a 40mile return journey and staying with Mam on average 6/7 hours every few days. She's lost more weight but that's not surprising as the care home staff while being love to Mam just put food and drink next to her and leave. We try to feed her while where there but she hardly ate today and didn't drink much. my sister and I saw her G.P today . but he's not looking after her now even though he has been her doctor for years .I couldn't get anywhere with him in fact he seemed defensive straight away. I asked if he could continue to be mam's GP as she trusts him and he said he's retiring I told him he wasn't retiring yet and Mam didn't have long . I stated that we didn't agree with the other doctors plan to put Mam on a protocol that we thought was the Liverpool care pathway and that he hadn't discussed it with any family member .but I was told that my youngest sister and Mam had been told .I explained they wouldn't and didn't understand what had been said .and that it hadn't been discussed they where told by the care staff. He said there was a check k list that was followed and that the Lpc had been abolished.I asked for details of the check list and stated that the pathway was still being used but under different names. He didn't answers. I asked for mam to be reviewed daily by him or another of the doctors I got nowhere. He was obstructive wouldn't listen to our list of concerns and said he'd make a appointment for me to talk to the other doctor who happens to be a partner this Friday. so what do I do now I will go to see him but I need to know what to say to help Mam .
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Hi Petlamb, do you have anyone who can go with you on Friday? Call Macmillan today they may be able to suggest an approach. Sadly this is a poor state of affairs but even if your mum is ignored you as her next of kin are entitled to support to get through this trauma so you can at least support her with as little stress as possible. It seems too all over the country there are numerous nursing homes not fit for purpous as well as low facilities for care in the community. Just a tip your own doctor can help you on the grounds of your health and wellbeing, your mums doctor can say they are acting on the patients best interest even if you know it is not. Best wishes for Fridayxx
Thank you katieoxo60
Yes my sister's coming too on Friday .I'll phone Macmillan soon today I do need there support mam's in a care home not a nursing home I am a retired RMN SENM so apart from my blood pressure I'm Managing to cope with my own needs its fighting for Mam at a time when we need to enjoy and savour what time we have left with her and feeling frustrated at not getting anywhere that's the problem.
Hello again Petlamb, you are right this is a time that you should be spending with your mum not with doctors who seem not to care. Glad you are not going alone tommorrow and hope you have more sensible outcome. You need support too right now not stale mate all the time. Hope you are successful in getting the best for your mam
I will pray for you. May god help you. Try saying a little prayer each night. Honestly i never believed in god. But if not god someone will look out for you. I am terminaly ill and given 5 years maximum that was in april 2009. So there has to be god or someone watching over me. God bless. Dave
Bless you I really believe in and love god I am praying. I prayed by my mam's bedside before she went and I've light candles for Mam and asked my priest for special prayers for her. I believe that God loves Mam and took her home and its those that's left that are suffering now .but I will get strength and help from God and I be alright I'm happy that he's looking after you God bless
Hi pet-lamb and welcome to the forum. It is good that your sister is going with you to the appointment tomorrow to discuss your concerns and that you are in contact with Macmillan. Please continue to post on this forum and you will receive support from other members. Do have a look at the pinned posts on the screen where you may find some additional helpful information. Best wishes to you and your family.
Just a quick hello and during such difficult times pet-lamb , its a huge relief to know you can come here and share in whatever you need to. Hope you can make your Mam as comfortable as possible and continue to act as her "voice". I'm certain she'd be very proud of you and your family.
Is it possible to have an updated assessment from social services for your Mam? You do need other professionals involved in your mothers care. There still are some kind and caring people about. Have you spoken to the care home manager about your Mam's weight loss?Keep fighting for her regardless of the outcomes . She will know that you love her very much.
Hi thomas98, thank you for youre message . Mam died on the second of December we were with her ,she died peacefully and we think pain free. She was cremated on the 14th.
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