Feelgood Friday- Tell us about your week...

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Everyone,

Welcome to 'Feelgood Friday'.

How was your week? We would love to hear about your highlights......

Maybe you had a breakthrough whilst caring for your loved one, or you received some good news that you would like to share. Or you simply had a laugh or enjoyed something with them.

If you had a bad week and need to talk, vent. or wish for some help... then shout out to US.

Don't get despondent........talk to us, there is a new day tomorrow... just take a deep breathe and keep going.

To start off 'Feelgood Friday' we would like to share a tip to make your week that little bit better....... take 5 minutes for yourself, walk outside and get a breathe of fresh air or listen to your favourite song/music.

Above all we are here for YOU.

All the best for the week end.

[jaykay777]

The one thing I feel good about on this Feelgood Friday is my realization that I can communicate about my caregiving days without feeling too stressed. For the past week, my older son has been in touch with me by phone and email because the security clearance for his new job requires detailed information about me and his father, who died in 1959. Our discussions have led to my son's questions about his father's death from esophageal cancer and the diagnosis and treatment that preceded it. At 86, I am grateful that I have total recall of all the medical terminology involved, and why I made the decisions I did. However, I now have to deal with the memory of myself as a 28-year-old caregiver responsible for our four-year-old son, 11-month-old daughter, my father who had just suffered a heart attack, and my mother who was ill-equipped to deal with her situation. I am pleased that my son has taken his employer's request for information as an opportunity to connect with me on an adult to adult level, and that, for a layperson, I can recall and describe my first of three times as a caregiver to a dying husband and my first of two times as a caregiver for a severely ill parent.

[freezingspark in reply to jaykay777]

That's great that you can properly talk about your experience with your son and I bet he was really glad that you could share that with him and he could understand a little bit more about what you went through.

I always think there are so many things I need to ask my parents about their lives but keep putting it off until 'another day'

[jaykay777 in reply to freezingspark]

Freezinpark -- Perhaps you are following a positive instinct by putting off asking your parents more about their lives. You or they may intuit that they are not ready to talk about it at this time. Just a thought . . .

[AliBee1]

Hi Everyone. Whilst we were away on our recent Respite holiday another carer told us that in her area carers could get their own Careline emergency button if the person for whom they are caring could not use the phone to call for help if they (the carer) fell or had a problem. I phoned our council and they have just come out to see me and I now have a Careline system in place as I am effectively 'living alone'. It seems such a good idea to me.

The man who came to demonstrate it was very impressed with our 2 baby alarms that allow me to hear my husband and vice versa if we are not in the same room, and allows me to be upstairs and still hear if he is having a problem or becoming agitated downstairs, and allows me to respond to him immediately to tell him I am on my way to where he is. The demonstrator is going to tell all his colleagues about it.

[Hidden in reply to AliBee1]

Hi AliBee,

I have an emergency call button for me although my husband is the disabled one. Our company also has a service available whereby if I have to go out and leave him, they will ring him at set intervals just to chat with him and see if he is OK.

Another service they have is called 'OneCall' . It is a wristband with a reference number and the phone number of the Lifeline service. Anyone found lost or disorientated whilst wearing the wristband can be identified and vital medical information can be given to the emergency services.

As well as the baby alarm, a portable doorbell works well for those well enough to push it when they need help. The carer can take it around with them leaving the button part with the other person.

There are lots of things like this available, it is just find them that is difficult.

Good luck, and I hope you don't need to use the call button.

[freezingspark]

I realised that asking the tough questions is so important and that in the end, its always better to talk about things rather than ignore them. I sat down with my parents last week and we had such a good chat about what is important for them in the future and what is and what isn't acceptable for them as they think about their old age.

I hate thinking about my parents going into homes etc but it was really good to understand what they would accept and what they wouldn't. So basically lesson learned...always ask the hard questions!

[Jennymary]

I'm having a rubbish Friday, I had complications from a cataract op almost 2 yrs ago which has wrecked my cornea, I'm off to the cornea clinic on the 31 October ( was told it would be in January), and I'm going to be told I need a cornea graft, after reading about grafts on the internet, the treatment for a rejection really scares me and I'm going to say no to the graft, I'm sitting in bed with tears pouring down my face as I'm really scared about my future, I still have cataract in the other eye and my glaucoma consultant would like to sort that one for me but I won't let her due to the issues I've had following the first one

[Hidden]

Hi Jennymary, A friend has had cornea transplants in both eyes and is thrilled with them. Go and have a chat with the cornea clinic about the pros and cons - don't just take what you read on the internet. You will find that people who have problem

Do you know why the first cataract op went wrong? It is extremely unlikely that a second one would be a problem unless you have some health issues that could affect it. I have had both cataracts done as has my 100 year old mother and most of my friends and I honestly can't think of one of them who has had a problem. It is great to be able to see properly again (although we have all said we hadn't realised how dirty our houses were until after the op!).

Don't say 'no' until you have explored everything. Improved sight would be such a good thing in your life.

[Hidden]

Hi jennymary, My fingers are very arthritic and twisted and I tend to delete parts of my text without realising. My post should say 'you will find that people who have problems with something, always post details on the internet but those who are happy with things, often don't bother to tell anyone.'

[Jennymary in reply to Hidden]

Thank you exhausted wife for your advice. I was born with glaucoma (4th generation in the family), the cataract op went well but where the cornea was disturbed during surgery it didn't right itself, I ended up with a cornea odema May last year, this is where there is a build up of fluid, treatment is steroid drops which aggravate the glaucoma, sending the eye pressure high, at one time last year I was putting 11 drops a day into the affected eye!!! They eventually got the eye sorted and all was well till this time last year when I had another odema, eye pressure ended up at 40, stop steroid immediately and come back tomorrow to see how the eye is doing, I ended up in December with a 2 hr appt with the consultant discussing glaucoma surgery, I asked if I could have a certain type, she said no you're not suitable, so we settled on another plan, she rang me the next morning to say she was going to do the surgery I wasn't suitable for the previous day!!!! I've now had another odema which is why I'm off to the cornea clinic, and I'm so scared of steroid aggravating the glaucoma that I want to quit while I'm ahead, I lost most of last year due to all these appts, and I don't want to lose another year I am aware that if the graft takes I won't have any probs but for me right now it's too big a chance to take

[Hidden]

Oh how horrid. I do hope it all works out for you, my husband has glaucoma and he has trouble with drops as they interfere with his chemo meds. He has had laser treatment but on seeing the optician this week, it seems that it may need doing again.

Good luck with everything.

[Jennymary]

Thank you, I'm sure you can understand now why I don't want the graft, best wishes to you and your husband x