Hello All

[David-James-]

Hello pleased to meet you all,

I am David and I am both a care expert for work and a carer supporting my parents. I am keen to share both my personal and professional experience where I can.

[jaykay777]

Welcome, David. I'm sure many will benefit from hearing about your experiences. How old are your parents?

[David-James- in reply to jaykay777]

Hi, my father is 83 and mother 76. Dads Parkinson's is seriously affecting himself mobility now and his memory is also suffering. He is very reluctant to accept any assistance even Physio input. My mother struggles with the stress of seeing him deteriorate and so leans heavily on me. I'm happy to help but it never seems enough, even with my professional background!

[KingArthur in reply to David-James-]

Welcome - it is very hard if your parents are in denial. I think older people can be very frightened of losing 'control'. My husband has various conditions but I am not allowed to say he is confused or muddled yet he is! I dare not progress the dementia diagnosis because he has been violent and emotionally abusive. So just taking it day by day, until a crisis happens. I do feel for you and I know from friends that it is much harder to deal with, even from a professional background, when it is people you care about and you cannot distance yourself in the same way you can with patients/clients.

[David-James- in reply to KingArthur]

That is exactly right, we can often fall in the trap of trying to fix everything. I more recently have been taking a a very proactive approach to ensuring we have specific time for being a family rather that me being a facilitator to address their care needs. It has really refreshed things for all of us and opened up new conversations again. Normal conversations. I recommend that we all take a step back sometimes and give it a go