Pensylvania, DIagnosed with Cirrhosis 2011, would like to speak with people out there who have this, others who understand..

[Pensylvania]

Well, after abusing alcohol for a good... (!) 13 years, I was diagnosed with Cirrhosis in August 2011. I wasn't surprised, I was actually expecting it, as knew i wasn't well, and knew what it was.. Being an alcoholic, I would have been happy to have been asked to give up Anything else...but, apart from -basically not wanting to die, yet,..I lost my brother,Trevor in 2010, he had spina bifida and spent probably the majority of his life, to be honest, in hospital, He was amazing in his strength, and cheery disposition, and -the irony of life- he died suddenly from a heart attack, at 46. He has been my major inspiration, as he didn't have a choice, I do.. I crave alcohol every single day, but have not had a drink since 19 September 2011. Feel ok, but worry, and regret are a pain! How are You?...

[deedee27]

hi pensylvania

i was told i had alcoholic liver disease in august 2012 at 26, i was not expecting it at all, i thought i was invincable because of m age and my dad has been an alcoholic since before i was born so i used to compare myself to him and think well at least i don't drink like him but i started to drink a lot more often until it was out of my control... i was admitted to hospital with end stage disease, i was so yellow and had to get my stomach drained due to ascieties, it was touch and go, my family were in bits, i have relapsed twice only drinking a small amount of alcohol but my body can't cope with it, i have had a lucky escape but do find it a real struggle to not drink, like yourself... i am going to go to support groups startin from next week which i hope helps as its people in the same position as me and also cognitive behavioral therapy to change the way i think, maybe this would help u, everyones different so al try different things to c wot works for me. congrats for been sober all this time, has your liver improved since you stopped drinking atol.

good luck.

[Pensylvania in reply to deedee27]

Hi there deedee. First of all, thank you so much for replying to me. Your the first other person I've heard from with liver disease. I am So so sorry, about you falling into that same trap as me, and your so young. Yes, have been yellow, and had ascities too, the consultant said if I didnt stop I would die soon. Although, unlike yourself, I havn't been admitted to hospital. I do still get ascities, and it really worries me, -probably, but I take it you'll be on diretics as well? My gp has halfed my dosage, and I wasn't pleased, but have read somewhere that too many diretics can be really bad for you As Well! Not being able to take painkillers is a pain as well, and we're supposed to avoid salt as much as possible, -now thats difficult! I did try AA for a while, before I stopped, but I just didn't want to stop, -always knew it would have to be life or death for me, alcohol was my everything! Thanks Deedee,, jeez, it Really isn't easy, I know, we're Not supposed to touch a drop now, and I'm sorry about your wee relapses, I ate a whole box of brandy liquors, -just to get 'that' taste, but I know we Cannot touch alcohol in any shape or form. Well, the docs have said its pretty much stayed the same, although my liver and spleen are not as swollen, and 1 good thing, I'm sure you'll agree is not being sick and feeling awful every single day.. That cognitive behavioral therapy sounds interesting though.. Yes, why not give it a go! Thanks Deedee, and hope to speak soon. Take care of yourself as best you can, yes? Pen X

[dmc44]

Frist sorry about your bother i know how it feel's when in pain and the only thing the can take that a way is drink,with me it drug's.it good you have stoped,the head is the hard bit.keep up the good work,keep safe,fae a wee guy in glasga

[Pensylvania in reply to dmc44]

Hey there 'wee guy in glasga'! Thanks so much for replying. Yes, you Definately Do understand, don't you, I'm sorry for that. Yeah, definately, its All willpower eh. I miss that 'place', you know, that alcohol took me to, but I am determined, because I really don't want to die just yet! I will definately keep up the good work, its great to hear from you, someone who really knows, and hasn't just read a textbook. You keep safe too, yes? Pen x

[papataal]

Pensylvania, Well done for admitting you are a alcoholic, that is a big step in itself!!! Losing someone who was a inspiration has got to be tough, without sounding obvious, I think you have to look at your brother and see how he was and use that to gibe yourself the strength to beat the demon, you can have a supportive family and friends, but at the end of the day it is up to you. Take one day at a time, I hope for the best for you.

[Pensylvania]

Dear Papataal. First of all, thank you for replying, its so good to get some feedback, from people who Really know.. Thanks, yes, its not something I'm proud to say, obviously!, but admitting it to myself was the thing I couldn't do! Yes, I definately draw inspiration from my Brother, still. He struggled his whole life, and always just laughed about it, I feel that if I did fall by the wayside, or relapse, I would be dishonouring his memory, and that, above all else, I think is what Is my true strength. My true inspiration. Alot of my family and friends still drink, I've been out to parties...toasted my other brother's wedding with an orange juice, and yes, they are supportive, always telling me how proud of me they are, -which is good, but doesn't take away the desire!! But I am stronger than I was before, and am appreciating things more, being more creative etc, It is, indeed, as you say, one day at a time though. Thank you Papataal, your words are inspiration too. I wish You the very best as well. X

[Rambette]

My dad had cirrhosis caused by a fatty liver. He's at stage 1-2. Have you been given stages?? How are u finding the uk hospitals?? We are in Suffolk and I'm not impressed with the Nhs done here.. They don't seem to care!!!

[Pensylvania in reply to Rambette]

Hi Rambette. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, I know its not always alcohol that causes Cirrhosis, and that must be even more upsetting..? Yes, these 'stages' have confused me, I'm really not sure, because no-one has said anything to me about them, I found some info on the net, but am still unsure where I stand to be honest., though apparently, if you have bad ascities, they call it 'end-stage' Cirrhosis, but please don't quote me, I don't know nearly enough to say anything for certain. I have had bad ascities and still get really swollen sometimes, Oh, the hospitals up here in Scotland leave Alot to be desired, trust me, and they're getting worse, your right, its like they don't care at all, my 84 year old Auntie was in hospital over the new year, with suspected pnuemonia, and she said she was just 'left' for most of the time she was in. Its a sad state of affairs, when the place you should feel safest actually makes you feel worse, if not physically, then psychologically...! I wish your Dad all the best, and thank god, You care Rambette. xx

[anne-marie50]

Hi Penslyvania

I also abused alcohol for a very long time approx 25yrs. I was told I had cirrhosis 5 years ago but that didn't stop me drinking and I ended up in hospital many times. When I finally admitted to myself and my family that I was an alcoholic I knew then I had to get help, with the support of my doctor and AA my life has changed around. I have been sober now for 3yrs and 4 months, I would be lying if I said I don't think of alcohol but since I've stopped I've physically felt that big black cloud that hung over my head slowly disappear and it feels great. unfortunately my liver is so badly damaged I was given 18 months to live unless I have a liver transplant. I was seen by many consultants (each who would play a part in the transplant) and I have had so many tests done that I've lost count but the good news is that I have been excepted for the transplant and hopefully I will have it soon. I am not allowed to eat anything with any form of alcohol and I even have to order alcohol free perfume from the Internet. Its hard work checking every single label as alcohol can be very well hidden and called something else. I also have to have random blood tests to check that I have not drank or eaten any form of alcohol in the last 24hrs. And because I'm not even allowed it on my skin they don't use alcohol wipes when taking my blood. If there is any trace of alcohol they will take me of the list. My family and friends all check their food labels now if I'm at their house but all this is worth it to be able to get at least another 25yrs or more of life.

On Monday 14th my family will be burying my brother, he is 53 and he died because of this illness, because of this I'm even more determined to stay sober and well.

Well done on your sobriety, for any alcoholic it is a great achievement not pick up that drink. I hope you keep well and if there's anything you want to ask me please feel free to do so.

[Pensylvania in reply to anne-marie50]

Hello Anne-Marie.

What an incredible time you've had of it, I'm so very sorry to hear about your Brother, I can only offer my sincere sympathy Anne-Marie, I understand. Yes, when the consultant told me, in no uncertain terms, that I had it, he said if I didn't stop right then, I'd probably have a year, if lucky., and that if they saw I wasn't trying, I could forget the list. I'm so very glad you can get a transplant, when do you get it? Yeah, I get my bloods done every month at the moment. Thats Really something I hadn't considered initially, -avoiding anything with alcohol in it! I havn't seen a dietician or anybody about that, I did know that I should'nt have been eating those brandy liquors, but.. And, I Certainly hadn't thought about the alcohol in perfumes!!,wow!, I've definately learned more from the internet than any Doctor, as I've noticed other people have mentioned too.

Oh, I will be more vigilant now, thank you for that, yeah, alcohol Does seem to find its way into Alot of things eh! And, what about salt? We're supposed to avoid that, and that is darn well just about impossible!! Well done Anne-Marie for managing to stay sober for so long now, thats Amazing, truly. I've been close, too close to caving-in, but, my own beloved Brother going suddenly has made me realise that it just would not be fair to give in and, inevitably, kill myself..

Just like you, his passing definately has made me more determined to stay strong. I feel it for you, I do hen, for sure, and I appreciate life more now, its true, I can't believe sometimes that I've managed to still be here, I'm sure you must feel the same. (Not just the damage to my liver, but the crazy, dangerous situations alcoholism brings..)

I hope your Brother's funeral goes well, (you know what I mean), I will be thinking of you on Monday, I hope you stay strong, as I'm sure you will, for your Brother, and your Family. And, for yourself.. Your message has really touched me, thank you for sharing this with me Anne-Marie. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me, and for your offer of advice, I appreciate that so much, and I hope we Will keep in touch, as I want to hear of your upcoming transplant, and what you fancy doing with the next 25 years! Take care of yourself, and I think your Brother is so proud of you, I still talk away to my Brother, every day he makes me smile, so he's still inspiring me, I wish the same for you Anne-Marie.

Penny xx

[codie]

I like yourself tried everthing 2 stop alcohol, but the only thing worked for me was AA. It helped me so much, im sober 4 and a half years, ive a great life now, going 2 meetings of AA reminds me were i could be if i drank again, but on the positive side it gives me a life i know im not alone, i hav a great social life, I go 2 AA conventions in Europe every year and hav a great holiday cos i meet so many from all over who hav the same diease, and i attend aa meetings 3/4 times a week, but i drank every day of the week, so going 2 meetings is nothing and yes ther is a serious side of it, but also a great social side also. Im going on a cruise with my family this year, i couldnt hav done that when i was drinking. what im saying is ther is a good life after alcohol !!!

[Pensylvania]

Hey Codie.

Yes, its was the same for me, I drank everyday, I wasn't 'drunk' everyday, it just kept me in 'that' place, I was just topping up everyday. Wow!, 4 and a half years!, Well done!, Yes, like me, you probably couldn't imagine life without it either. Thank you so much, hearing from you telling me life can be amazing, -naturally- is uplifting and so appreciated. Your right, I am just realising now that I do know its possible to enjoy life without alcohol, and really Live, without the constraints of addiction. I hope everyone on the site reads your message Codie. Thank You! EnjoY yourself, you deserve it! Will look forward to hearing how great your holiday is : ) X