I'm on this forum as I have liver issues (Budd Chiari) which aren't caused by alcohol.
My partner drinks a ridiculous amount of alcohol - regularly drinks at least15 cans of beer 3 days a week and 4-6 cans other days. He had been told he had fatty liver previously and elevated blood test results and did cut down drinking for a bit although recently it's been the worst levels since I've known him. He's now complaining of pain in his stomach, feeling sick and full, he sleeps when he's not drinking, he has a large stomach - when he describes how he feels it reminds me of when I was in liver failure due to my Budd Chiari.
He's been to the doctors today as he feels so unwell. He went there expecting to be told his liver was giving up and realising he has to cut his drinking (he hasn't drunk since Saturday night). They thought the issue was more indigestion or something to do with his digestive system (I got dismissed as having indigestion when I first started with symptoms of liver failure). He's having blood tests, ultrasound and other investigations done.
His doctor told him to cut down on drinking but that under no circumstances had he to remove alcohol completely as he was at risk of seizures. She told him he had to have some alcohol today. I'm quite annoyed as he has was quite resolute to not drink before he saw the doctor. He struggles with moderating alcohol - he's tried before and ended up worse than before he tried to reduce it. Once he has one can he wants another.
Has anyone else experience of being told to not cut out alcohol suddenly and did it actually work?
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Probably the doctor in his case is afraid of the rapid withdrawal of alcohol for fear that withdrawal syndrome and delirium tremens or other neurological disorders may develop. This may be more dangerous than gradually reducing the dose of alcohol.
I have experienced the other side of cutting out alcohol altogether as I was so ill (going into organ failure) I fitted and had to be put in an induced coma spent 6 weeks in hospital.
Please listen to the advice given you just cant stop wish I would have seen my GP earlier.
Thanks for your reply - appreciate you sharing this. I just wish the doctor had been more specific about how much to reduce it by and over how long a period. I know he'll use it to justify his continued drinking and any good intention he had of stopping drinking has probably already gone. Give it a few weeks and he'll be back to normal levels of intoxication.
Look up in your local area there's bound to be some alcohol services they will work along side him to reduce his intake safely, I would have thought your doctor could have helped, he has to really want the help to succeed i wish you well.
Thank you. He wants to give up alcohol but only because of the harm it is doing to his health. If he could live healthily whilst drinking there is no way he would stop. He was referred to an alcohol counsellor last time he attempted to reduce his intake but that didn't work that well for him - mainly because the message he seemed to get was that it was ok to drink as long as he was reducing his intake. He never got close to reducing it to no alcohol.
Many of the support groups appear to be around Al-Anon which he would never join because of the religious beliefs that it holds.I feel a bit like I am watching him slowly commit suicide whilst being accused of nagging him when I try and get him to reduce his drinking. I've survived liver and kidney failure and it wasn't at all pleasant or something I would wish on anyone else.
I went with my husband to see the doc when his behaviour was very strange which turned out to be HE. The doc said l needed to get him to hospital asap. Later in the day l got a call from the hospital to ask me how much he drank. I could only tell them of the amounts l was aware of. They said they were keeping him in to detox him. They will have given him medication to stop him having any of the awful side effects, quitting completely without medical intervention would have caused. Its the only way to do it safely. Unfortunately my husband discharged himself, lied to me saying they had told him l could go to pick him up, and started drinking again the next day. He had a second detox but it was all too late for him by then and died a few months later. Many people here have tried to quit by themselves by cutting down but it's rarely successful as the addiction is too powerful for even the strongest of men.
Yes, I went cold turkey and was retrospectively told it was a bad idea, I was like oh well. It’s hard though, you need tremendous willpower. But as I now know and your doctor has suggested, better to taper off slowly or get him somewhere that will monitor his detox.
Sadly one of the factors of developing an alcohol problem is when it turns into an addiction.
Up to that point, a person is drinking because they want to. Many people drink for different reasons. The everyday social drinker, who drinks out of routine or habit. (these are the ones you'll find in the Rovers Return, or the Queen Vic).
There’s also the drinker who uses alcohol as a form of self-medication to blank out a traumatic event or a bad situation like a bereavement. All these people are drinking because they want to.
The problem is, that when alcohol takes hold it can turn into and addiction. The person is no longer drinking because they want to, but because they have to. The addiction is driving their need for alcohol.
A person who suffers from an addiction needs to be weaned off the alcohol slowly as there is a danger of the person going into shock and suffering from a brain seizure, or other complication.
There are two types of detox programs, both are overseen by a addiction therapist. There is the hospital type detox program where a person is hospitalised for about six weeks and monitored 24/7. Ordinarily, these people aren't allowed off the ward, and attend many classes and meetings to try and get to the bottom of why they feel they need to drink.
The second type of Detox program is the self-at-home detox. Once again, this is overseen by a addiction therapist, who will set out a home recovery program. While some people prefer this method, there is always the temptation to go up the road to the local off licence, if it all becomes too much.
For any of this to really work, two questions need to be answered. 1. Do you want to live? and 2. Do you really want to stop drinking for good? Getting that determination started, and that will to want to live has got to be there, otherwise there's nothing much to really build upon. You need that solid foundation and commitment for this to really work.
Many people get the wakeup call and respond to it, but sadly there are some who just don't respond to this call.
This maybe wrong to say, but these are hard questions that have to be faced. I would take your partner to the pub. This may sound irresponsible, but if he's controlling and reducing his alcohol consumption, allow him to do this in familiar surroundings. Here he'll feel comfortable and relaxed. Then careful broach the subject by asking those two questions. If he replies positively, then sit down and draw up a plan of action. Explain, "This is what is broken. Now what are we going to do to make it right"? This problem is no longer about just him, but has become a "We" thing. It shows that you understand and are prepared to stand by and support him.
That support speaks volumes and it's a long road back, but there are many of us on this site who have been down this road, and are alive and still drink free many years later. So it most definitely can be done.
Those people who stand by and support our recovery are truly unsung heroes that deserve some recognition as their love speaks volumes. (Dolly Parton's now singing in my ears).
Sadly, for those who don't want to hear the wakeup call, there comes a time where all you can really do is to look after your own wellbeing, even if that means walking away. Life is certainly cruel at times.
I wish you both well and hope all goes well. Don't give up, sometimes miracles do happen.
My doctor prescribed me Naltrexone. You can drink on I t. It doesn’t make you sick... But it works by cutting off the positive sensory receptors so you won’t want to drink anymore eventually. You ween itselfOff quite quickly and I had no complications. It didn’t even need my refill i was prescribed. It quit last a year ago September with the help of that stuff and I was in really bad shape before that. I drank from the second i woke until I went to sleep at night. Look up Naltrexone!!! It saved my life. Couldn’t have done it alone. Pure gold that stuff is. It lightens the load of the stress, and worry that goes along with detoxing safely and quitting drinking.
Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. He has blood tests and ultrasound booked to determine how badly his liver is struggling. He decided he wasn’t drinking last night despite me suggesting he should follow doctors advise. Not convinced he really wants to stop drinking altogether longer term
For many people who have to give up alcohol, this can come as a shock. Because alcohol has become such a large part of his life, its hard to imagine a life without it.
For some people, this can be an emotional experience, its as if alcohol has become a persons best friend, after all, its aways there when you need it. It tries to make you feel good, and tries to cheer you up when you feel down. Having to let go of this friend can become unimaginable for some people. It can even become a form of bereavement for some people.
Once he becomes use to not drinking, things will become alot easier. He'll then realise that life without alcohol is much better. No cravings, no arguments, and no hangover.
A up 2021, if he can manage a few days off prior to going to the doctors, I don't think he needs to be weaned off alcohol. You would of noticed withdrawals. He has to be fully committed to stop, just one thought in your head about drinking in the future it's game over.
I can tell you some scary things that happened to me (make anyone stop). Now he is getting SYMPTOMS it's time to knock it on the head. I wish I'd stopped at a fatty liver. I actually stopped drinking and completely kicked alcholic hepatitis of the liver and fatty liver deposits. What I didn't know was that I had started with cirrhosis at the time. I had a detox in hospital and vowed never to drink again. Well a while later (2 years gone) I felt great, no symptoms and all bloods were normal. Before I knew it I started drinking again and was dependent, this time though it happened really quick and the scarring started from where it left off (still didn't know). Me being me I never Felt a thing doing a detox in hospital. I even thought it was easy ( don't even think that) I thought I was indestructible.....errrrr no..... It took 4 more times to stop and the last one was liver failure and "Dan you are going to die"and"liver cuput". Now at this point after giving the ball a good old kick for many years the liver turns around and kicks you back, ow it hurts it really fxxxing hurts. If I can convince anyone that they don't have to experience this just by stopping drinking then this is it.
Good luck expect argument but that will fade with support when he realises that you are all he's got.
All the best..
Danny x
Hi and welcome,
Here is a link to the NHS alcohol support page and there is a link to local alcohol services.
If he is a chronic drinker and just stops he would risk serious complications. I had to take benzodiazepines when I quit. However a doctor won’t give them to someone still drinking because it can be a deadly mixture. Benzodiazepines affect the brain in the exact way alcohol does. It is commonly used to get people off alcohol in the states with almost 0 withdrawal symptoms.
My husband was drinking a lot, every day, for a very long period of time until he started feeling unwell. He realised alcohol was making him ill and decided to cut down very quickly which made him feel even worse. I had to call an ambulance twice, he refused medical help on both occasions, but the advice he was given was to taper alcohol consumption very slowly (by 1 pint a week) because he's been drinking for such a long time . He started with the tapering but after couple of weeks his liver failed and he was hospitalised for emergency alcohol detox.
During the weeks before he went to hospital he was sleeping a lot, his stomach was huge, he was always cold, forgetful, angry ... and just weird. I thought this was alcohol withdrawal symptoms, and maybe it was to a degree but was also a sign that his liver was struggling.
Keep a close eye on him, but don't forget to look after yourself!
HiI wanted to reply to this as I so felt for you, but also massively for your partner.
I may have missed it in the thread but for how long has he been drinking these amounts? If it’s a short spell, maybe a few months, it’s possible something has happened that he’s drinking to forget, not think about etc or even feeling down / depressed. And that in itself could need a dressing to enable him to be free of the crutch.
However you mention “if he could drink healthily, there’s no way he’d give up drinking”. This just leaped out at me - drinking healthily for a man, I believe is about 20 units a week? Maybe 5x cans? A week? Could be slightly wrong but- have you ever known him to drink this few on a regular basis? If not, that’s a red flag for addiction. If so, I’d say SOMETHING has happened for him to be using to dull his senses.
Also I ABSOLUTELY understand your frustration with the doctor. At the early signs of my addiction, (and I mean a really bad addiction to strong alcohol, ending in daily through the day into evening till blackout) the only person at the start who could have helped me was the doctor - as I was hiding it from everyone else. God knows how. I was advised not to stop drinking - so I happily followed the doctors advice!! Boom! Doctor told me to drink, so there, best news ever. I’m an alcoholic- cutting down was never gonna happen.
Many people will already have mentioned the effects on your body if you simply stop so that is a no no but if he is drinking to these levels, he HAS to stop drinking but needs medical help (Librium did it for me) to this safely and also and a very close eye whilst he’s doing this to ensure his safety. You do need to talk and if he does want to stop, I think a more forceful trip to the gp with the request of a prescription to ease withdrawals rather than for the doctor to continue to enable him would help.
And finally, AA. (I think you mean AA not al-anon which is for those whose lives are being affected by loved ones with an addiction).
I can only speak for my local groups (I’m Manchester, UK) but they are rooms of the strongest, warmest, MOST supportive people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Although G-d is discussed freely, we stress it’s a “higher power” not necessarily g-d that you learn about in school! It’s whatever it is within you that keeps you strong. And this may come waaay down the line, it’s not pushed at all. Also we are at pains with newcomers to stress this is not a religious based group. It’s a group of people there to support, cheer on and sometimes commiserate with friends if they go away then need to return.
You do not have to have given up drinking, only the desire to stop. Many people comes to the rooms still drinking and just need to listen and the support to finally stop. Not one person in the room will tell you to stop, you decide yourself.
I can also say there is a HUGELY mixed demographic in the rooms- we are office workers, managers, NHS employees, teachers, bin men, unemployed, business owners…. We have the most well dressed people, fully tattooed people, hoodie and trainers wearing, driving range rovers, ford focus’ and grabbing the bus coming to meetings and to a one, I trust each one with my secret that I keep from most of my family and friends. They have single handed for me through the past 9 months (from ICU back to being a loving, full time working mum of two) and for that, I can never thank AA enough.
Rather long winded but I just wanted to say, if anyones relative in here doesn’t know where to look next, please try to get your loved one to an AA meeting. What harm can those two hours actually do?? And if they go back a second and a third time, they could just be the turning point.
I’ll sign off, I sound like I’m getting a back hander for writing this!!! But please, it’s worth a try and may just help in time before anything more serious occurs.
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Aching
First Post (advice if possible)
Believe drs report or body actions,or both?
As I said before to little to latexx
