I Fu**ed Up

[ROCKO2231]

I had a few moments of weakness and drank beers and a few vodka drinks on consecutive days about 2 weeks ago at a friend's cottage. Obviously feel like crap since then. So just made not only my life worse, but my wife's also. I was already having a hard time eating any food and dealing with severe bloating, chronic headaches, difficulty breathing, chronic fatigue, ect...now i added a few more issues. Since that time, ive been dealing with chronic diarrhea, strong metallic taste in my mouth as well as intensified headaches.

This morning, i had an episode that many on this site have had: Uncontrollable severe itchiness. It started on my hands and feet and eventually was all over my body. It was so intense that i was biting down on my pillow trying to figure out what to do next. It lasted about 5 minutes and gradually went away. I am seeing my gastroenterologist on August 11th for my biopsy result but debating going in before that time. I don't have a lot of faith in my specialist. She's always downplayed my condition and had to go private to get a fibroscan and ultrasound showing cirrhosis of the liver. Crossing fingers that i don't have to go through that again before Aug 11th but reality is most likely will as my condition has been a very slowly degenerative issue that seems to be slowly getting worse over time.

Back to eating right (when i can) and drinking filtered water...F**k me...

Rocko

[mtk0925]

Well when you fall off the horse you just got to get back on. Your so humanly human and it’s ok to make mistakes. Take care you sound like your back on track ❤️

[Aotea2012]

Don’t be so tough on yourself. It’s a one off mistake which you are feeling incredibly bad about, you’ve realised it wasn’t a great thing to do and haven’t repeated it. Lighten up on yourself a bit. The additional symptoms you describe could be down to the fact that you’ve been feeling anxious about your short lived departure from the waggon. I’d raise it with your specialist when you see her, but until then eat as well as you can and try to forget the episode.

[Rshc]

try not to beat yourself up, you made a mistake, you are going to move on from it. The path to recovery is not straight.

[Millie09]

Hi rocko2231 ,Welcome! ..Well as the replies so far to your post is very true ! I was decompensated cirrhosis in 2008 ,Managed to turn it round to compensated after 2 yrs , then I actually fell off the wagon multiple times , my worst episode was 2 yrs solid after I lost my dad .. it happens to the best of us , yes I know I made a massive mistake and no doubt harmed my liver but please don't beat yourself up.. it happens, .. just get back on your sobriety journey

Best wishes linda

[NewDayToday]

Hi Rocko.Hang in there.

Also, I found hope in this and just began working it.

Maybe it will help you.

Try searching for "thatliverdude"

I am not connected in any way to him but what he says makes real sense.

[redpoint72]

fella. we all make mistakes. none of us are perfect,far from it. don't let it eat you up....just get your ass back on the wagon,so to speak 😉😆....I would still keep your gastro appointments,even though you sound like your loosing faith in them. sometimes,like mine they treat just the illness,not the person. look after yourself. chris

[teletonetapper]

Hi there Rocko. As everyone else has posted, don't be hard on yourself. No-one has a "perfect life" I can assure you and everyone has their dips if they are being honest. If not, they must be a "robot" programmed to be absolutely perfect and do nothing wrong!! You have been honest on here and with yourself. Keep your chin up and sincere wishes for the result of your Biopsy. Big hugs from the UK.

[x007jcp]

Hi Rocko - echo everything supportive already posted by others. Look at the mental upsides. 1 you are not denying what you did. 2 you can reinforce what you can't continue through the physical consequences. 3 whatever your opinion of your healthcare at least you're getting some.

[kensimmons]

Hang in there, if it was just a one time thing you are going to bounce back anytime now. You are also probably worrying so much you may be causing yourself all kinds of troubles from lack of sleep, etc. You got this.

[Roy1955]

Been there, done that.

Just dont do it again!