Husband still drinking and refusing treatment

[cindyluhu]

My husband receives no treatment for his Cirrhosis. He was diagnosed last June. He has bleeding, bruising, ascites, and edema in lower extremities. He is still drinking after a short period following detox. What will be the outcome if he doesn’t get treatment for the fluid buildup and other symptoms? Thanks.

[lonmallin50]

Sorry to hear about your husband, Im sorry to say there will only be one outcome if he don't stop, I was the same about 3 years ago I carried on drinking when told I would die I just did not believe them, I just thought how can a bit of beer kill me that was what I was thinking. It was not until I started to read about my symptoms after a 2 week stay in hospital when I was thinking straight without no drink inside me which were the same as your husbands symptoms without the bleeding and reading stories on here about people with liver disease I suddenly realised that I really was going to die if I did not stop I could not believe I was that bad, because I felt no pain and did not really feel that bad at the time you think your alright I get over it bit of swelling did not seem that bad to me. I was so lucky I stopped when I did. I woke up yellow one day and it never went I went down hill quickly for 2 years I suffered a horrible life waiting for transplant I could not dress my self could hardly walk HE when you get all confused because of toxins going to brain Knowing I was going to die very soon was hard for me mentally I would not wish it on any body what i went though them 2 years then just in time i got my transplant I would not have seen last Christmas. Try to explain to your husband how bad it will be for him he is in denial like I was I know its be hard for you but you need to get him to realise he will die from it. If he stops drinking now his liver could repair itself in time He certainty don't want to take the road I took. Good luck Lon

[cindyluhu in reply to lonmallin50]

thank you, I have read up on cirrhosis and understand what is happening, he is in denial and has an excuse for all the symptoms. Bug bites—lower extremity swelling, bleeding—dental work needed, swollen belly—beer gut, yellow skin—sun tan… the list goes on. The HE is the worst, I walk on eggshells all the time and the paranoia that I am poisoning him devastates me.

[Millie09]

Hi cindyluhu I'm so sorry to read about your struggles with hubby

May I ask why doesn't he have Any treatment? Is he not under the care of a liver unit at all ,where he should at least be getting 6 monthly ultrasound scans on the abdomen and blood tests etc.

I was I the same situation 16 yrs ago this coming June, only it was me that was getting all the symptoms your hubby was getting , I kept drinking not knowing why I was swelling up especially my tummy ,I looked heavily pregnant, could hardly walk due to oedema in my legs and feet ,that bad the water was seeping through my skin on my legs ,wouldn't wish it on anyone

Cut a long story short, I was admitted to hospital not long after due to tachycardia from the ascites, was told in hospital I had 6 months left to live I was detoxed in hospital, given 3x drains of the fluid ,eventually whilst in hospital after 6 weeks I was able to go home ( separated and living with my dad ) as hubby was a wife beater .

Hard work.. I'm still here and going abroad next week .

I'm afraid you already know what's going to happen to hubby if he continues to drink. He's in total denial, hence the constant excuses to his symptoms.. get him to read the replies to you on this forum .. let him know that myself and others have been where he is now ,BUT ..he can get his life back if he really wants it bad enough.

Have you contacted the liver nurses on this forum at all ? They are extremely helpful and will listen to your cries for help .

I really hope he can turn things around to otherwise what will be a painful ending I'm sorry to say

My very best to you

Linda x x

[Kingbilly3 in reply to Millie09]

Hi just wondering if you also have cirrhosis ? X

[Millie09 in reply to Kingbilly3]

Living with cirrhosis 16yrs ,diagnosed end stage in 2008 .x

[Kingbilly3 in reply to Millie09]

Is end age decompensated? That’s the term my doc uses x

[Millie09 in reply to Kingbilly3]

Yes was decompensated in 2008 , then compensated from 2010 x

[Kingbilly3 in reply to Millie09]

Great news! I was told if it was going to compensate it would be within 6 month of no alcohol but dec scan showed liver was just same but no worse x

[Millie09 in reply to Kingbilly3]

To be honest you can't put a time scale on this , the liver needs time to heal as much as it can , mine took 2 years ,and that was hard work ,having just detoxed and was suffering malnutrition, I weighed 6stone when I was discharged used to be 9 stone healthy days .. livers can recover to an extent ,but some don't as the scarring has gone too far .. just keep sober ,eat healthy and I'm sure given time your liver will go in to compensated ,baring in mind I'm.not medically trained so best to ask your liver team x

[Kingbilly3 in reply to Millie09]

Thankyou x

[Jamsponge in reply to Millie09]

Hi Millie, I was in exactly the same boat as you, decompensated in 2019, had to stop drinking and leave abusive husband if I was going to stay alive. Compensated in late 2021, got a job (we had a business) and left. Never looked back.

We are warriors!

Much love x

[Millie09 in reply to Jamsponge]

Hey 👋 jamsponge How very kind of you to reply to me , but even moreso to hear of your own journey !! So much the same as myself.. Well done 😊😁.. I'm so proud and happy that things are so much better for you

Totally agree..we are warrior's.

My very best to you

Linda xx

[cindyluhu]

Thank you, I wish he was willing to see the symptoms for what they are. He does have a gastroenterologist who completed the liver biopsy and diagnosed it, but has not followed up since. Lots and lots of dr orders have expired with no follow up from him. His primary doctor suspected liver disease for years based on labs, and he did have minor portal hypertension diagnosis following an endoscopy in 2020. He is just going through the motions at this stage.

[Millie09 in reply to cindyluhu]

So really it's hubby that is not engaging in anything, you need to pressure the gastro team / hepatologist to see him urgently, the oedema and ascites is only going to get worse and along with it the complications. I do hope you can get the help that's needed.

My best wishes linda x x

[juneblue]

I’m so sorry. Your husband is dying from alcoholism. The only cure is abstinence. I was the same way. Free from alcohol, two years now and I feel great. Keep mentioning death to him. Maybe yo can get through to him. God Bless you. I will pray for you.

[SanFranciscoGirl]

Hello! Can someone please explain in layman’s terms the difference between compensated and DEcompensated liver disease? I assume that one is worse than the other? I feel very comfortable asking on this forum. Thank you kindly!

[AyrshireK in reply to SanFranciscoGirl]

In simple terms - Compensated means the liver (although badly scarred) is coping and can still do many of it's 500 functions. Decompensated means it is struggling to do even it's 'essential to life' functions so you start to see severe and in some cases life threatening complications.

A table I found somewhere before showed that as well as the 4 stages of fibrosis with cirrhosis being F4 or end stage, cirrhosis itself can be staged dependent on symptoms present.

Stage 1 cirrhosis - no varices, no ascites (compensated).

Stage 2 cirrhosis - varices, no ascites (compensated).

Stage 3 cirrhosis - ascites, +/- varices (decompensated).

Stage 4 cirrhosis - bleeding varices, +/- ascites (decompensated).

The BLT page on cirrhosis is a useful read.

britishlivertrust.org.uk/in...

Katie

[SanFranciscoGirl in reply to AyrshireK]

Dear Katie, Thank you so much for sharing this! I pray for everyone who is affected by any kind of liver issues and also for the friends and families that are impacted. 🙏🏼

I was diagnosed with a fatty liver about a year ago and that really scared me this time to make lifestyle changes. I’ve had my ups and downs with drinking over many years and alcohol has not been my friend! Almost a year now with not drinking, major dietary changes, and increased exercise and I feel so good! Unfortunately, I am still having to address the many issues that caused me to overindulge, but I am somehow learning to face my challenges…one day at a time!

Blessings to all! 🕊️

[MilliganHorse]

I too am very sorry to hear about your struggle with a hubby that seems not to want to listen. Know that it is not you he is ignoring but himself, drinking is a very selfish and destructive life for the ones who love them but also decompensated cirrohsis is also a very very difficult time and in my case with my hubby it's been a terrible 6 months I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy! I do feed the good news I read on this forum to him and sometimes when I am at the end of my tether I just read some of the heart warming posts - My hubbby has just spent 10 weeks in hospital and is now home - the biggest battle is getting him to eat but have realised it just causes terrible arguments and he is often in a bad temper so to be honest as I am on my own without any support I leave him to it as much as possible because otherwise it just gets out of hand.

If you can get a doctor or consultant to explain the reality to him it is better and then it really is up to him to stop living in denial but it is his responsibility please don't beat yourself up over it (easier said than done I know) you don't deserve it you didn't hold a gun to his head while he drank and drank he may not like being told the inevitable outcome but someone needs to explain it to him - On our first visit to hospital my hubby was there a week and the consultant just came in and told us exactly what was what and he stopped drinking immediately and he is someone who listens to no one! So all I can pray is that someone can get the message across and that you get the support you need. Take care of yourself my heart goes out to you.