“NACOA” (National Association for Children of Alcoholics)

[Richard-Allen]

This may not be the right platform for this, and for that, I apologise.

Sadly at this time of year, many people will no doubt be drinking far too much, what with office parties and social gatherings, there may be some fights and arguments that will ensue. Children can often be at risk and may be in need of help and comfort.

“NACOA” (National Association for Children of Alcoholics) is a UK charity providing information and support for everyone affected by their parent's drinking through a free, confidential telephone and email helpline. (They can also help in the event of a family alcohol-related bereavement).

Over the past 15-years, NACOA has had over one million contacts from children, yet many people out there still don’t know of their existence.

Children shouldn’t have to suffer in silence at any time but at this time of year, they need to know that help is available to them. The NACOA helpline is 0800 358 3456 or emails to : [e-mail]

This is a rather poignant video they put together back in 2011, but sadly still holds true today: youtu.be/ITcQJ8at3bI(Not working as expected?)

[TT-2018]

Thank you for posting this Richard, especially in these difficult times, the message is more important than ever.

[DavyGravy]

Hi Richard

As Usual, another excellent thread.

Everyone who suffers from liver disease (regardless of the cause) will go through tough times, mentally and physically and that in turn affects all those around us who will become the outlet for our pent up emotions even while they make sacrifices to be there for us.

With addiction (alcohol or drugs) there is the added problem of being driven to get our poison regardless of others. Often, as people are damaging their bodies with alcohol, they are damaging their loved ones emotionally and mentally, we scar our livers but scar their minds.

Later on, when we have been brought to our senses, we often look back and thank all those who we have hurt, those who comforted, helped, supported, encouraged and cared for us. Our families and friends, the nurses, doctors and specialists.

But we rarely think about the children who live through a traumatic event at a time when their minds are still developing. It is extremely tough for a partner, parent or friend to watch someone poisoning themselves with alcohol every day, but I cannot begin to imagine what torment it must be like for a child helplessly watching one or both parents destroying themselves.

My parents were poor, my father worked 3 jobs, my mother was strict but they loved all 6 of us children. We had very little in the way of material things but, we were always warm, well fed, clothed and incredibly happy. My childhood was the time in which, most of my happiest memories exist. As I consider good memories to be more valuable than money, I feel rich especially when compared to some of these children whose childhood will probably be a time they will try to forget.

It is not much but I felt it right to make a donation to NACOA as this is a worthy cause.

Dave.

[Richard-Allen in reply to DavyGravy]

Well done Davy, and thanks for understanding. As you'll most likely know, one of the traits of alcohol-abuse is the need for solitude. People will often push love ones away, and just want to be left alone. Sadly the downside of this is a deep feeling of loneliness and emptiness. The only thing that really matters is where that next drink is coming from.

Jonathan Ashworth MP has been a support of NACOA for many years now and often talks about the battles his father had with alcohol growing up. I wrote to Jonathan a while back, but didn't get a reply. Here is an interview Jonathan gave with NACOA: youtu.be/4LZwScMNZYA(Not working as expected?)

Jonathan Ashworth MP London Half Marathon and London Marathon 2019

[DavyGravy]

Jonathan touches on a good point about the effect covid and isolation has had on peoples health both mentally and physically. Luckily for me, I worked 60 to 80 hours weekly delivering food parcels but I have seen other staff returning on random days who have gained weight through food and (more often) drink. 😔

For the first time in 50 years I remember 2 brothers who lived within 50 yards of my home. Their father was a miner, and whenever I saw him, he would still be covered in coal dust returning from the pit carrying his bottles. The brothers were (approximately) 12 and 14 but both were "going on" 20. They had become the adults in the household, I have no idea what happened to their mother, maybe she left when the drinking became too much.

They did the washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning. Often living on vegetables from the garden. Sometimes there would be no lights on in the house until the father had sobered up enough to pay the bill, they would ask my mother to borrow two shillings for the gas meter. Their clothes were old and worn but always washed... As I recall their faces, they were always smiling but, their eyes looked old.

They loved their father unconditionally and often helped him to bed and woke him at 4 am to go to work.

I have never thought about that family until now.

Despite their love for him, I dread to think what memories they recall when they think of christmases and birthdays back then.

[Positive001]

I only wish l had known about this charity when l was trying to keep everything as normal as possible for my children while my husband was going through his alcohol addiction and illnesses. But pleased you are highlighting it here for others not knowing who to turn to for support during such a desperate time. For that l thankyou x

[LemonMeringue15]

It's my first post here. I've just had to tell my children this week that their dad has end stage liver disease as a result of his drinking. They are 11 and 15.I'm a member of NACOA, and have been for a year. I knew I'd have to help my kids through this at some stage, but thought it would be many years from now.

[Positive001 in reply to LemonMeringue15]

My children were 11 and 17 when we lost my husband so similar age to yours. It's very tough. I am pleased you have the support of NACOA.All the very best to you.

Laura x

[Richard-Allen]

Many thanks for your reply. I'm glad you found NACOA and that you are a member. I happen to live in a rather deprived area, there is a high local death rate caused by alcohol abuse within the community.

About a year ago I happen to go along to a local exhibition. There happened to be a stall which was being operated by some local nurses who frequently visited schools in the area talking to children about personal hygiene and general healthcare. I got talking to these nurses and they had never heard of NACOA.

I was able to arranged for NACOA to give these nurses a call and they are now talking to children in schools about the dangers of alcohol and trying to get children to talk about any problems they may have. Getting the word out is so important.

I sincerely hope their father's condition is improving. Merry Christmas to all your family.

Richard.

[Hidden]

Thank you for this Richard , and to all who have commented on this thread. I am sure it will be helpful for many of our members.

Best wishes,

Trust9