I'm sure most of you all have read my posts of my struggles with alcohol, since I lost my job (Non alcohol related), my partner and love of my life left me (non alcohol related), and my dear Mum passed away. For the past two months I have relapsed big style again again as some of you know (drinking 10 pints of 4% lager a night). I know some people will say this is crazy, but at the start without drinking I fear as to what I may have done. Also alot of people on here are not the actual drinker but have lived with one, and this is in no way a criticism, as many were great support to their drinking loved ones and still are. But as of now my depression is so great and my self esteem so low and I have no one close anymore in my life to help me fight, in fact if I had I wouldn't be in this state as for the 20 years I was with my partner I hardly drank. Now I feel there is no point stopping, even though I know it's wrong and harmful. I have no one close anymore to stop for and my self esteem is that low not even for myself. It's a tortourous situation and I hate everytime I drink, but in my 50's with no job and little chance of getting a new one, no partner and my Mum gone I just feel defeated. People say when they stopped drinking they felt better, I didn't, I felt worse. I feel I have harmed my liver over it all, but am at a loss, Sorry for the morose post and I hope all of you are good. Thanks for listening. I did not mean to offend anyone. I would not wish this situation on my worst enemy.
Please look to see if you can get some professional help for your depression. I'm sure you are aware that life can look even harder than it may be when you aren't feeling well.