Feeling sad its been 2 1/2 years since I last drank alcohol. Life is not so bad apart from some issues

[Violet74]

Feel down and alone with my addiction. Christmas is challenging for me always was associated with parties and drinking. I wont drink and will cope. Scared to see friends because of the COVID thing cant tell them so avoiding. My husband is an NHS employee working long hours. The TV is my life right now. Shouldn't moan could be a lot worse. Both parents died in quick succession had major issues with them they were a large part of my drink problem. Mobility bad as I cant have surgery because of my bloods being so low the risk if Sepsis being too high. Get that. Doing my best to get on with it. Just feel alone and a bit sorry for myself. Need a swift kick up the arse at least I'm still here. All the best to you all, you have been a lifeline through treatments. Love xxxx

[Hidden]

Hi Violet,

It sounds like you have been through a traumatic time, please be kind to yourself. Maybe you'd like to call our nurse helpline next week for a supportive chat? We are open Mon to Fri 10am to 3pm on 0800 652 7330

Take care.

[Richard-Allen]

Hello Violet, what might help is for you to try and understand why you drank in the first place.

Many people develop a drinking problem for many different reasons. But over time, the real reason can become lost. A person can then drink out of habit, or routine.

Understanding the original reason can help. Over the years there have been people on here who have had to endure horrendous personal nightmares, and have sought solace in alcohol. For others, it could be something like a tormented childhood, or a bereavement.

Some people use alcohol as a way out. While many people who live on the streets have come from the care system.

It can be a bit like “cause & effect”. The “cause” is the original problem that caused a person to turn to alcohol for support, the “effect” becomes the alcohol problem itself. Trying to treat the effect without treating the cause can be a waste of time.

There was a real story on this site some years ago. Which I’ll use to try and clarify this “cause and effect” a little better.

This lady in her early thirties had developed liver cirrhosis due to alcohol abuse. After a while, and gaining her confidence, she confided that some 11-years previously she had been raped. For 11-years she had not only never told anyone but had continued to blame herself.

Had this poor lady received help and support to get over this traumatic experience, she might never have turned to alcohol as a means of escape, and ultimately still have a healthy liver. By understanding and treating the cause the alcohol support would no longer have been needed.

Try and remain positive. A new year, and new beginnings. You’re never too old to start something new. Why not look at doing a “Futurelearn” course?: futurelearn.com/

These are free to do and require just a few hours a week. There are even two liver courses. “Liver Disease: Looking after Your Liver” and “Liver Transplant: the Ins and Outs”. So you could be learning more about your liver and helping yourself at the same time. The one I’m presently doing is “Integrating Care: Depression, Anxiety and Physical Illness”, as I want to understand depression and anxiety in others better.

Hopefully having something to look forward to will take your mind off things. Often when we develop an alcohol problem, we see alcohol as being a friend, after all, it’s always there when we need it, and it tries to make us feel happy. Having to stop drinking can in itself be like a form of bereavement as we are saying goodbye to our best friend. Having something in our lives to replace this loss will be of great help. Also by treating this as a loss, once something is dead, it can't come back, so psychologically for are admitting that alcohol has gone out of your life for ever.

So, try and start 2022 with positive vibes, Set yourself a goal, and get out there and do something different. How about going into schools and talking about the dangers of alcohol abuse? Children need to know that alcohol-related liver disease isn't something that only old people get.

I’m too polite to kick someone up the backside, but if I was, then please consider your backside well and truly kicked.

Best Wishes and a Merry Christmas to you and your husband,

Richard

[Violet74 in reply to Richard-Allen]

Thank you you are so kind

[pushthrough]

Hello Violet I'm with you with the drinking bit and feeling down. Sorry about your parents, that's terrible. Just diagnosed at 39 with Cirrhosis this past monday. Day before my b-day. 😱 I was so addicted to alcohol for my anxiety and past trauma that I ignored signs for months. 8 months sober now. The good thing is that you know what triggered it and quit. When I'm around people drinking (very seldom) it makes me think, was I that nuts when I drank? I kinda have a laugh or two. However this covid 19 has me home bound working from home because If I catch that or a bad flu my liver will likely take a big hit. It's the last thing I need right now and unfortunately people don't understand. I only visit relatives and I have very few friends where I live. Luckily I'm an introvert. If you need a good laugh watch Clarkson's Farm if you can. I enjoyed it quite a bit and even watched it 3 times. This community has helped me so much I can't even tell you in words. I'm in the USA and I'm sending you a huge virtual hug!

G

[Zukosmile07]

Love that shit. We have turned a friend from across the pond into a agony uncle.Takes your mind off everything this forum. Violet smiling gets you through so many different emotions. Pushy is one example, I am the other hahahaha 🤣 (I can't believe how many people are cheery in our conditions and problems)

I definitely know how to have a laugh and a good time without drinking.

Ask away for any funnies, I will always tell the truth.

Danny x 😀

[pushthrough in reply to Zukosmile07]

I come here everyday while I'm supposed to be working. LOL This disease is terrible and they need to find a cure. Maybe now that NASH is an epidemic maybe they will recognize that alcohol abuse is a disease and yes I chose to ingest that poison but I didn't know about Cirrhosis. Apparently these scientists have upped their game and are trying hard to find a cure for Cirrhosis other than having a transplant. But seriously, Clarkson's Farm is hilarious.

🤣

[DavyGravy]

Hi Violet

I think it is wonderful you recognise the Christmas challenge and are adamant you will cope.

I can certainly sympathise with you, your husband working for the NHS, I also worked in a hospital. Christmas and new years eves are normal, and I quickly understood illness is not a 9 to 5 monday to friday thing, but I never worked with anyone who minded working those times even though I'm sure my wife would not have minded some company.

Looking at what is on the TV this year... you have every right to moan 😄

but seriously, having a little moan is very healthy, just sharing here is lovely because we all feel like that some times and just knowing others feel the same, is a little comforting.

You can come and chat to us any time.

Dave

[Ubwa]

I don't understand how society seems to have created this feeling that people "must" drink on certain occasions or you won't enjoy yourself or will be ostracised or something. I look at alcohol now as drinking bleach - you wouldn't do it.

Richard's advice is spot on - if you have/had a problem with alcohol you will never truly beat it without tackling the underlying cause of why you ended up dependent on it. I think it's unhealthy to have the attitude of "feeling sad" you can't drink, as sooner or later you may end up losing to that desire. Rather, celebrate you turning your life around and having a better chance at life.

[DavyGravy in reply to Ubwa]

I think we are bombarded with messages, every film, tv show and advert seems to be in a pub, or at a party or a nightclub... Every soap has a pub in it. You have the perfect answer Ubwa, aversion therapy, by thinking of alcohol as bleach it makes you cringe at the thought of it. It becomes something you hate. It is a very clever way to train your brain to repel any thoughts that might lead a weaker mind back in to that downward spiral.

[x007jcp]

Hi Violet - completely share your feelings about booze. 2.5 years is excellent. Celebrate dumping the killer demon and treat yourself to something good!