British Liver Trust
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I'm freaked out, please help?

I've been consuming too much alcohol. Like way way too much. I'm 32 and for the past 5 years I've been drinking on average 15 units. Sometimes I go without for a few days, other times (occasionally) I lapse into drinking 30 units a day for a week until my body says no more. I then stop for a bit and resume drinking 10-15 units daily. I feel so ashamed of myself, that I can't control my drinking. I have woken up often with a wet bed. I hate myself for all this. People say just stop drinking but it feels harder than what it sounds. Sometimes I think I drink because I think I'm already a goner. Any thoughts or inspiration? Thank you everyone x

18 Replies
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It’s good you recognise you need to stop drinking the alternative is it may kill you. You alone are only one who can make the decision to stop. My advice don’t plan one last drink just do it now.

If you get cirrhosis your whole life will change and my experience tells me one way or another it will bring pain.

Dieing this way is extremely unpleasant for you and your family. Have you stopped drinking yet? Just do it

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Hi,

Welcome to the forum.

We would suggest, If you are, or have ever been, alcohol dependent or an alcoholic, discuss this with your doctor. In these circumstances it is important to get medical help to give up drinking, as stopping suddenly can, in some cases, lead to severe withdrawal symptoms, including hallucinations and seizures. There are many sources of support and help they can give you or direct you to.

We hope that you find the forum a supportive place to visit,

Best wishes,

BLT admin

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I appreciate that the official line is to seek help and have detox or reduced alcohol intake.

It didn’t work for me as One drink would always lead to another.

A consultant Gastro doctor who I hadn’t seen in over 12 months took one look at me and said I would be dead in 12 months if I didn’t stop drinking. This motivated me to stop there and then as I wanted to see my grand children grow up.

I was already really ill and have spent over 90 nights in hospital since.

The first few days of withdrawal was hard but 17 months on I don’t want to drink and never will.

I’m not on tx list as I’m not fit enough yet but I keep trying

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Well done on quitting drinking and I hope you go on the waiting list soon. I take it you have decompensated cirrhosis? If so, I really feel for you. I don't miss that time in my life at all and I hope I never have to go through anything like it again.

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Thanks KLDN your right I am decompensated with a UKELD 64 and have been for over 12 months. I was rejected for transplant but they are trying to help me. I don’t feel well again today and I have my last chance at a cardio pulmonary exercise test Wednesday morning! 🤞

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Double check, it’s more likely that you’re too ‘well ‘ for a transplant, that’s the situation I’m in.

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I can't say I know how you feel as I never really had a drinking problem. Yes in my younger and more recent years I had the odd binge like many do but it was never a case of being unable to stop.

Why don't you join AA or see a psychologist to address the reasons behind your drinking? Other than that I can't say anything else other than stop before it's too late.

I was extremely lucky to be given a new lease of life through a transplant but I'd give anything to have my healthy liver back.

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You need to get support from your local alcohol support team, you can check online or at your GP’s, you need to admit to your Dr how much you have and are drinking. Don’t loose hope there is help, I personally don’t recommend AA, I get really good support from the Norfolk Recovery Program , I was drinking more than you for years and have now been dry for 7 months. Good luck

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PS don’t just stop outright, it’s extremely dangerous!!

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hI

AA can help but only if you have the desire to stop drinking. I have had many friends in Al Anon whose "problem drinkers" got dry and led a fulfilling life

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Hi Jason, I was exactly the same as you and I ended up in Rehab other wise I was going to die, I started to going to AA meetings which are amazing. I was very sceptical at first but they are a bunch of people with lots of experience with getting sober who want to help others. I have now gone 50 days with out a drink and am starting to feel great again. I would really recommend it and if you need any more advice let me know. Good luck Jason.

Cheers Chris

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Well done for getting in touch with this forum. That is a massive first step. I watched by ex, an intelligent and lovely man, cut himself off from the world to hide his drinking and the dreadful mental and physical pain he felt, for a good couple of years, before he died last year at the age of 44. Such a waste. There is too much shame and anxiety attached to drinking and the real suffering that both underlie and are caused by alcohol. Get help. Seek the help you need. You are worth it my dear.

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Your doctor should be able to give you some local organisations who can help. I live in Bournemouth and had some meetings with 'Addaction' who were quite helpful - up to a point. Then there's Alcoholics Anonymous (whom I haven't tried) and some others. It can be very hard, I'm still working at stopping drinking a year after having been told I have Cirrhosis of the liver and that I'll be dead in 2 years if I don't stop drinking!

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Hi,

Well done for stopping. I was also a very big drinker and eventually asked for help. The solution for me was to go to AA and listen, identify and talk to people who will fully understand where you are and how you feel.

I have not had a drink for over 15 years and still regularly attend meetings. I have made life-long friendships, with people who just seem to understand me.

I took this step before I lost anything but am under no illusion that this was only a matter of time.

I have liver problems that are not attributed to alcohol, but have no desire to tread that road again.

In the end I just got “sick and tired” of feeling “sick and tired” and knew that there had to be something better. I found it in sobriety and the fellowship of AA.

My old life is a distant memory, and my new life is far and away the best thing I have ever done in my life. I wouldn’t change anything I did previously as each drink led me to this point in my life where I can truly say “I walk this planet a Free man, I can go anywhere, with anybody at any time”.

Life is not a dress rehearsal, we get one shot at this and I can decide to be happy and free or miserable and imprisoned.

Please feel free to ask any questions you may have and I will try to answer them.

Ray

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Jason everything you say is very usual for abuse try and get to AA ASAP. When you feel like having a drink EAT SOMETHING it will take the craving away drinking can be part of a life style .you are not a goner. It’s about modifications in your life don’t beat yourself up little steps can make a big difference good luck if you believe in god or anything spiritual PRAY IT WORKS BE WELL

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Hi Jason, it is never too late to stop drinking. Accept it is killing you and remember you are not yet dead and buried. I stopped drinking at the end of August after a serious bleed, that lead to discovery of cirrhosis. Advice was stop, so I did. My family and friends have been very supportive as have my employer. Dig deep, find the motivation to stop, every one wants you to survive and find happiness. You have made the first step of admitting a problem, now seek medical help to resolve it. Good luck. Tim

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please seek help

my husband was an alchohol for 24 years and his eyss had gone yellow he started with AA and has had so much support he did a medical detox at home and hasn't had a drink since March 2017 His liver has recovered and he is now back at work

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Your husband is a remarkable man and you are fantastic too.

I've got Nash , fibromyalgia and fall arches in my feet, I don't know what I'd do without the support of family and friends, they have been great.

Everyone on this forum, please take care. Lots if love Lynne xxxx

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