Feeling a bit stressed: I’m in the... - British Liver Trust

British Liver Trust

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Feeling a bit stressed

Aotea2012 profile image

I’m in the stressful position of selling my house and buying a new house closer to my family. The end point will be worth it, but I’m in a difficult chain and I’m worried it’s going to fall through. The sale is the result of a long term relationship breakdown which makes it even more messy as my ex partner simply wants me to sell my share and not buy a new home. So objects to all the delays in the chain due to my purchase. The relationship finally broke down when I had my diagnosis of cirrhosis and was sick in hospital back in March. So not a great time really. I was shocked by my diagnosis as it was picked up when I was admitted for a deep rooted infection. So very unexpected. I was pretty sick but got out of hospital with good support and have become well. My bloods are normal and I’m eating properly and exercising every day. I’m obviously alcohol free and haven’t touched a drop since my diagnosis and have no intention of drinking again. Hospital scared the life out of me. I am very stressed though and am struggling to relax with all the stuff I have on at the moment. My usual coping mechanism would have been my old friend red wine, but that’s strictly out. Any suggestions on nice treats or other things would be greatly appreciated.

16 Replies

Hi Aotea2012, So sorry to hear that you are going through all this when you are trying to stay sober. Sounds like you are better off without this other person 🙁 surely they can be patient enough to allow your purchase to go through?

Anyhow, back to treats. I am quite fortunate as I love fruit, so I would highly recommend trying some that you may not have bothered with too much in past. I think those of us who drank to excess probably have not bothered too much with our diet generally, so good time to reconnect.

Do you enjoy cooking? How about experimenting with some healthy curry or Thai dishes? Or Italian if you don’t like spicy food?

Also maybe treat yourself to a spa day? Can get some good deals on groupon or Wowcher.

Do take good care of yourself. You are doing great and do not get derailed by pressure from the move 👍

Aotea2012 profile image
Aotea2012 in reply to Archie1962

Many thanks for your response. Yes I’ve started to be clever developing ‘cirrhosis’ recipes. The dietician gives me advice on my diet but the food can be a bit bland and boring if I just did what they give me on the sheets. There is only so much you can do with quinoa! So I’ve now developed some high protein low salt meals that are very nutritious but taste nice! I haven’t done much with fruit yet, but I’ll start to think through some nice things. My dietician thinks it’s an inventive way of making the cirrhosis diet edible!

Hi have you tried non alcoholic drinks it helped me stop some say not god idea as is reminder but the fear of having high liver count stopped me, I find milky bar chocolate buttons comforting and if you watch saturated fat intake there are biscuits I'm not sure about chirrosis diet tho so best check, I understand about stress on house sales but I do believe it's fate getting the right house if you can swim that will help your stress and help you sleep take care good luck with the house 🤗

Hi Aotea2012,

I'm sorry you are in this situation - selling house is stressful enough, even without a relationship breakup and illness!

What about knitting? I find it surprisingly relaxing!

Aotea2012 profile image
Aotea2012 in reply to BetulaT

Gosh, I haven’t knitted since I was a kid! I’ll give it a go.

Hi Aotea2012, I'm sorry to hear that you are going through all this extra stress at the moment. It isn't what you need and I can really sympathise with you situation, having just had to move and having to move again soon but hopefully things are improving now...

I was also admitted suddenly and unexpectedly to hospital 6 months ago for the first time really poorly with ascites and decompensated cirrhosis having had no liver diagnosis until that point and this week I've just seen the consultant and been told my bloods are normal apart from low platelets due to my meds, and I have moved from Child Pugh C to very well-compensated A. I was told on the day I was 6 months sober.

I think what you need to remind yourself is that what you have just been through is really tough, especially being in hospital during covid and all the extra strangeness of that, before you even add on the house sale and difficult break up which are both very stressful things in themselves. It is really important that you try to take time for yourself, that you don't put added pressure on yourself to do too much, that you allow yourself to say no where you can to social events or work or other commitments and give yourself some room to breathe.

One thing I have found that has worked for me is making a weekly date with myself to do a nice thing... when it was warmer this was going to a cafe in the park for iced latte (you may want to make it decaf atm) or ice cream and reading a book or going for a short walk somewhere pretty. Sometimes both, if I had the energy. Now I am having hot coffee and working on a creative project for an hour or two a week. I also use this time to journal ... either in note form or longer entries depending on how much time I have about how I am feeling, what is feeling better, what things I have to tackle in the week ahead and what can wait until the week after... this makes me feel a bit calmer about the next stage of the moving process, and staying healthier. A digital to do list app can be really useful for this, as if you are feeling overwhelmed you can move the unimportant stuff down your list and it feels more manageable.

Another thing I have just done today is to book a day pass for a hotel pool / spa. I love to swim and use a steam room / jacuzzi but it can be quite pricey and with not knowing when you are going to be moving next locking in to a new gym contract now that you are feeling better may not be possible... I used the Hussle app to book and it was £10 for my nearest place though there are some cheaper, I am thinking of something more special than the leisure centre for a one off ... my leisure is about the same price for monthly membership but a daily swim is cheaper...

or there are other hotel pool options if you have more to spend and want to add on spa treatments for example and lunch ... or they also offer a monthly pass with no contract which you can cancel at any time to use one or several gyms as best suits you... I find swimming really helps me with my appetite and sleep too. I am sure there are other apps out there too but if there are any hotels with pools or gyms with pools near you it may be something nice to do to relax if you aren't already a member somewhere? It can also be helpful for filling that lull time where you would have wine... if you go for a swim at that time the end result of chilling out a bit is hopefully still achieved, but without putting your health at risk... I only have a shower in the current place but indulgent baths also help a lot. Put some favourite music on. I also found that watching really bad TV helped at the worst times ;) And swearing loudly. And dark chocolate.

I hope that helps. Be good to yourself x

Thanks. That’s a great idea on a date night with myself! I suppose I have been doing little things for myself. I’ve been having reiki which helps. The idea of making a special occasion of something nice is a lovely idea. The SPA stuff sounds good. As you say I don’t want to commit to anything long term at the moment as I don’t know when I’m going to be moving, but there’s wowcher to keep the costs down!

Aotea I can't believe what I just read...Things like that turn my stomach, just having cirrhosis is a mind bender on it's own. I hate the disease but that amount of pressure as well. What a piece of work.

You are welcome to join me for as many fun day's as you like because I do know what to do to forget and have a few smile's. Don't forget there are a lot of us who band together for help. I'm willing to help....... Just ask.🙂

The reply at the bottom was my reply to you. iPads were never my strong point!

Trust10 profile image
Trust10Partner

Hi Aotea2012 - you have had such lovely suggestions from the other forum members, I don't have much to add! If you would like to talk things through and are in the UK, our nurse led helpline is open from Monday to Friday 0800 652 7330.Trust10.

Thanks for your reply. It’s nice to know that other people understand. I’m quite lucky really, I’ve worked very hard on my health so am physically strong enough to handle things at the moment. My mum used to say to me...what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! I must be getting better because alcohol hasn’t been my fall back position, I’ve developed a penchant for milk these days. For a treat I have that lovely Jersey stuff!

Superb attitude.... I've not drank for a year. I found myself walking the fields in the local village. Taking my sister's dog for a walk. Saying hello to everyone I went to school with. I think it's me that needs a laugh more than you, hahahaha 🤣.Good luck with everything.

Thankyou. It’s great that there is a forum like this to help.

I am sorry that you are having to go through so much, you have so much on your plate at the moment, and must be hurting physically, mentally and emotionally.

Sometimes being the eternal optimist that I am, I often think that things happen in our lives for a reason. Maybe you are now at a crossroads and are now preparing for the next chapter in your life. In a way, all that was wrong is now getting sorted out, no matter how painful it may be.

You've had your alcohol wake-up call and are now sorting out your health and your life. Hang on in there. With a new year comes new beginnings. As one chapter of life's rich tapestry closes, so another new chapter beginnings. Embrace it and become stronger moving forward.

If ever you need help and support please just ask. If you prefer to speak more privately then please send a private message. Some problems can be rather personal and private, but many of us on here have suffered from the damage of alcohol, it doesn't just wreak our bodies, but relationships often suffer too.

You are not alone, so don't suffer in silence.

Be strong

Richard.

Lots of really good ideas here, thank you for your question - I think it’s probably helped lots of us.

For me gardening helps, plus it might help sell your house. If you do pots you could take them with you.

Doing something creative also helps - patchwork or making Christmas cards.

But my main go to is a good book and a coffee!

Its a difficult call, especially if your under a dietician, I remember when you first posted on here, and the difficulties you were having with your relationship and the house etc, but once again, your determination will see you through this troublesome time.Food wise I've recently bought a blender and started to make my own milkshakes with fresh fruits 😋, with a blob of ice cream, watch the calories 😂, I always had a tendency to drink Coca-Cola, which I know is a bad thing to do, but for some reason I've got a sweet tooth, and I still love a bar of chocolate, however inbetween all of that I do eat healthy.

I think it stems back from when I used to drink, and the body has craved a sugar rush.

But I have reduced my Coca-Cola habit, and I'm now drinking more sparkling water, I try to eat a diet rich in vitamin B12, and plenty of protein, once again may I congratulate on your wellbeing and your will power on your journey to staying sober 😇

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