I hope people don't mind me having a bit of a rant and moan but I think some of you will totally understand.
I'm really struggling with falling into a natural "pattern" of being on the transplant list. I am an organised person and packed my bag and put in place things that I can like dog care, my twin boys school aware etc but I'm just finding it hard to "chill out"
I have only been on the list for 7 weeks and I'm sure in time it becomes easier. I just feel a bit down and tearful lately. I have my hubby and friends to talk to but don't know what's making me feel so low 😔
Health wise, still feeling pretty poorly last clinic my bilirubin hit an all time high of 203 and my INR is going up each month. I'm jaundiced, lacking energy and have constant pain to right side. I have pjs on by 8pm and laying on sofa. I try and stay as active as I can walking dog during day, still do school run, food shopping etc but do what I can physically manage.
I think the hardest thing at mo is knowing I could get my call at any time or in a few weeks/months or a years time. How you can go from the uncertainty of when it's time for my operation to thinking it could all be done and in recovery this time in 24 hours!!!!!
Believe me, I'm a positive person and trying to stay upbeat, happy and put it to back of my mind.
I'm so grateful I have been chosen to be on the waiting list for such a precious gift and I never ever forget that.
Has anyone else felt like this too or do
I need to just pull my "big girl brave pants" higher.
Much love to you all and sorry to moan Nicki 💞