21 year old worried I have cirrhosis - any advice, help or reassurance would be greatly appreciated

[moonflakes]

Hi everyone! I'm new here, and have already found lots of reassuring and inspirational posts from people. Unfortunately, I recently began to worry about my liver. I've been heavily drinking for slightly over two years now, starting with just binge drinking several nights throughout the week, but eventually deteriorating to a complete dependency and consumption of around 13-16 units per day.

Today, my emotions have been all over the place. I've developed what could be some symptoms of cirrhosis (but, due to the nature of my health being quite poorly recently, may not necessarily be) and have decided to make an appointment. These symptoms include some small tinges of pain in the area and occasionally the feeling like it's sputtering, occasional itchy skin, poor digestion, lack of appetite and occasional nausea among various other things (fortunately no so - called red flag symptoms).

When I first looked into things like treatment and life expectancy, I was very alarmed. Obviously I'm quite young and there's so much in the world I'd still love to experience. I would love to be a mother someday, to just name one huge example. Any kind of positive story or reassuring story would be greatly appreciated.

I'm trying to remain calm. I know I'm incredibly young and haven't been drinking that long in the grand scheme of things, but I suppose also every body is different. If I get told it's reversible, I'll be more relieved than I ever have been and have already vowed to not touch booze again. It was a way for me to self-medicate for various conflicting illnesses and traumas, but I know it cannot be the only way.

Any advice, reassurance or insight would be appreciated.

Thank you 🙂

[katie191088]

Hi, I know this is easier said than done but try not to worry too much until you speak to your doctor, make sure you’re completely honest with them about how much you’ve been drinking. Push them for blood tests and ask for a scan, your GP should also do a physical exam to see if they can feel any swelling. I’m in a similar position, I’ve had some symptoms which could be liver related but it’s so hard to tell as they could all be linked to something else but I do understand why you’re so worried. It’s terrifying and if you’re anything like me googling it was probably the worst thing you could have done lol. Stay off the drink now just to be on the safe side xx

[moonflakes in reply to katie191088]

Hey, thank you for your support! I'm normally not too hyper-conscious about symptoms or my health, but because of how out of control the drinking had been getting and the symptoms I felt, I just couldn't help but look for answers. I'm hoping a lot of it is psychosomatic or from other underlying conditions (for example, I have IBS and also very poor nutrition from all my daily calories basically just coming from booze) which could cause similar symptoms. I'm just trying to reassure myself that I'm young and it isn't a certainty. I'll definitely try push the GP to see me as soon as possible and to do the blood tests. I'm obviously very frightened and tonight has been a roller-coaster of emotions. I just hope that if the damage I've done is reversible, this will be enough of a scare to keep me away from alcohol, potentially forever. I hope you manage to stay safe and look out for yourself too! x

[Hidden in reply to moonflakes]

Hi Moonflakes. You absolutely have to stop drinking, eat properly and healthily, drink plenty of water and get regular daily exercise in order to reverse any damage your lifestyle may have caused your liver. You're young so have time on your side to take control of it now. Further down the line, when the alcohol gets a real grip on you, you will find kicking it a much bigger mountain to climb, frought with serious illnesses and all to often a tragic outcome. So please start taking care of yourself so you can enjoy a bright prosperous future.

Good luck

Laura

[moonflakes in reply to Hidden]

Hi, thank you for your comments and motivation! Realistically I have had alcohol problems for a while now and I've found it very difficult to drop the poison. I got into drinking heavily after a series of multiple heavy traumas and the subsequent lapse in my mental health. I'm trying my best to remain positive and hope for the best. Thank you, and I wish you well x

[Hidden in reply to moonflakes]

Talk all this through with your GP. Don't be afraid to ask for councelling to help you quit. You will be surprised how supportive the docs are once you are honest with them and let them know how badly you want to rid yourself of your addiction. I know it's so hard when you have used alcohol as a crutch to help you through past traumas but in reality it does the complete opposite... it heightens anxiety and clouds all judgement and rational thinking and now it has caused you concern over your health. There's your wake up call sweetheart. Please let us know how you get on. There's plenty of support for you right here. Laura x

[moonflakes in reply to Hidden]

Thanks again! I always work with a baseline of honestly towards appointments but I've struggled in the past with finding medication or counselling to work for things. Unfortunately my diagnosed mental illnesses seem to make me a "difficult case" (not my words 🤦‍♀️) so I always lacked in any consistent or helpful medical care. The drinking actually took a turn for the worse when I was told by a professional that simply "they had no treatment they thought would work." And I was sent away. Even then, the drinking was bad and I tried to discuss that. Ever since then I've just deteriorated into the abuse even more. It got to a point where I was going through so much trauma and was so damaged mentally that there was an attempt to section me (I just hopped countries to escape it). Booze has probably been the one consistent thing I felt I had and the one thing to dull the emotions, but you're right that psychologically all it does is perpetuate anxiety and depression and mental confusion in the long term. I think. I'll definitely learn from this experience regardless of the outcome.

[Sexy1971]

Hi moonflakes I know what you are going through with your drinking I was the same for a few years but my doctor told me that I had to give it up otherwise I will not be around much longer and the day he told me that my youngest daughter was there with me and she broke down into tears and I thought I can't do this so I went for a detox January 2020 and then found out in September 2020 that I have cirrhosis of the liver and that it won't mend itself because its scared to much. And I will be honest with you I have not had a drink since my detox. At the end of the day you have got to want to give up the drink otherwise I feel it won't work. I done it because I wanted to and for my children, grandchildren Hopefully when you go to the doctors maybe ask about detox I had to go every day for a week I wish you all the best and keep keep us updated of what happens take care and look after yourself.

[moonflakes in reply to Sexy1971]

Thanks for you reply! I am sorry to hear about what you went through but in admiration of your strength in being able to give up drinking and work towards trying to be as healthy as you can for your family. Alcohol dependence is hard to break, so what you have done is incredible. Thank you for the warning as well. I've been three days off booze now (it seems like a small feat but it seemed impossible even this time a week ago) and have a blood test scheduled. I want to do this for my family. I'm hoping I haven't gotten to the point of irreversible damage, but I don't want any excuse to go back to alcohol so I'm going to push and find out the exact state of my liver, because it is undoubtedly damaged to some degree. Thank you for sharing your story, and I wish you all the best, too. Take care!