Hi! This is the first time ever I'll be honest with people. I'm so embarrassed of myself but the truth is the truth.
Before talking about my liver disease fear, I wanted to say that I have mental problems that weren't diagnosed yet. I'm scared of going out and I'm scared of people in real life. Seeking medical help it's a challenge for me. I'm female, 37 years old.
For 16 years I have been in a alcohol problem. My brother had this habit of smelling cleaning alcohol to get drunk. And I started doing the same and after a while I was drinking it. First was 92% and later was 96%. This took 4 days to drink 1 liter when I had access to it. I am aware of the absurd of it and that is why I never had the courage to tell anyone and I can't seem to find anyone with similar experience.
Now I'm scared I already developed liver disease and maybe even cirrhosis at this point. Considering the amount of alcohol I have been drinking. I can't stop thinking everyday. I have developed several health problems and I'm getting worse.
Some of the symptoms I have been feeling: Pain under the rib cage, fever, nausea, loss of appetite, fatigue, mind confusion, itching, bruising easily, yellow loose stools. Smelly and darker urine even when hydrated.
Symptoms I'm not sure:
My periods are coming late and in smaller amounts. Headache. Dizziness. Light sensitivity. Racing heart without pain. I'm overweight and I'm not losing weight despite eating a little and this seems the opposite of what happens with liver disease. I'm much more sensitive to alcohol now and even a small amount makes me feel very sick. Eating anything solid is painful.
I know only a doctor can diagnose me. But any friendly word, sharing experiences and just talking here would make me feel much better. I don't know if I'm going to be able to see a doctor and I can't stop thinking of being too late for me. Thank you!
Written by
Joey_
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Hi Joey, welcome to our merry band. Sorry to hear of your health worries but hopefully you'll get support here to gently nudge you to make that next step of heading to the doctors for tests.
A massive well done on taking the huge first step of actually acknowledging you have a problem with alcohol, for many is the hardest part of the process and well done on going public and coming here to seek help.
Next step does have to be a trip to the doctors, you'll need to be open and up front with them about your history with booze and your current concerns. Only they can do the necessary tests to find out what sort of state your liver is in. The cleaning fluid situation is a bit dire and it sounds like you probably have done some damage. How much only the doctors can say.
In order to get maximum help and support from doctors you'll need to tackle your alcohol use - you may even need medical support with this.
We've got lots of members here who have gone through the whole alcohol and liver disease issue and others who are supporting loved ones through it. (In my case I am supporting my hubby with cirrhosis caused by auto immune liver disease rather than alcohol but happy to support all).
The British Liver Trust has a page all about alcohol related liver disease which might help you and a page with details of a patient charter which includes questions to ask and what to expect from your care.
I hope the next time you post you've progressed things and managed to get to your doctors for tests.
All the very best, Katie
Good morning Joey_
Welcome to this friendly supportive forum.
Firstly, well done on acknowledging that you have a problem with alcohol.
Next step, please try to pluck up the courage to see a doctor - you wont be telling them anything they have heard of before, and they are best placed to assess all your symptoms and to give you treatment/medication/plan to resolve them.
I see AyrshireK has shared the British Liver Trust information, so I will simply add that you can call our nurse led helpline on 0800 652 7330 Mon- Fri 10am-3pm.
Thank you for having the courage to share your story with us.
The next step s getting medical help both with your physical and mental ill health! In my opinion you can’t separate the two.
We can’t change the past, we need to acknowledge it and start to move forward! I had cirrhosis caused by alcohol and if I hadn’t got medical help when I did, I wouldn’t be here!
We are here If you have any questions or if you just need a shoulder to cry on, the people on here are all amazing and really supportive🙏
Joey, the mental health side I sympathise with you. Most of us
with a mental health problem play the constant tune in our head NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME. They can’t. They can sympathise, support or encourage but to understand us is like us trying to explain to a blind man the colour green....not possible :-(. Our problems are intrinsically ours so we need to learn how to cope with it. I did mine through prayer and study, yours may be different.
I agree with the others you need help. I also understand the fear involved.
Do you have a friend or family member who can go with you? They can wait outside if your embarrassed.
Alternatively ask your gp surgery for a doctor to give you a telephone or video appointment. I use these on my bad days and my doctor, unlike previous ones, is a rare breed, she actually cares.
I really do, as will many on here, care what happens to you. When you join( no formal agreement lol) out little disheveled group it’s like you become a part of the body. To lose you would be like losing a body part so please keep us informed and we will help you as much as we possibly can.
Go and see your GP and get diagnosed properly. They will not ''look down'' on you for your condition....take the first step and get on the path of recovery
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