Confused and angry

[AJD1310]

Hello All, I’m not really sure what this will achieve but just wondered if anyone can help me understand what has happened to my dad. Sorry for the long post! My dad (67) was diagnosed with cirrhosis about 3 years ago, he has lived with this with relatively mild symptoms up until about 3 months ago, he had to undergo radiotherapy for a small contained cancerous polyp in his esophagus. He was doing fine then all of a sudden he started getting jaundiced, developed Ascites, constipation, HE,and stopped eating. He was taken into hospital (after a huge battle) where he was given steroids for scarring on his lungs and sent home. Over the next 10 days he deteriorated quickly, his Ascites and constipation got worse he didn’t eat a thing and was asleep for 95% of the time. He got zero medical care, the doctors wouldn’t come out because of this virus and only sent district nurses, we had to call 111 who sent out 2 totally incompetent doctors one who blamed radiation sickness and one who just gave him an injection for nausea and warned against going to hospital because of the virus. Everything finally came to a head and he was eventually rushed into hospital by ambulance where he was found to have spontaneous bacterial peritonitis and bleeding in his stomach. We were told that his liver had completely decompensated and that he was dying. He died a few days later after a very quick decline. We had no idea what was going on. The docs said that when dad was discharged from hospital the week prior he knew he had a decompensated liver...I suppose my questions are would my dad have been told he was dying? Why would he have been discharged from hospital if he was so ill? Why would he not have been put on a transplant list when he was diagnosed with cirrhosis when he didn’t have cancer at that point? I don’t know if my dad hid things from us or if it was just a complete lack of care. He had the worst treatment imaginable when he was in hospital and it has been so distressing for our family. I just don’t know where to find answers! Thank you for reading.

[freddie76]

I am so sorry to hear this.

If i was in yre shoes i would be taking this through the nhs complaints system and then decide where to go from there.

Best wishes to u and family

[Hidden]

Hi

I'm sorry you have been through all this. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I would do what freddie 76 said and go through the NHS complaints system. Nobody should be treated like this. Thinking of you all at this very sad time. Love and hugs to each and every one of you. Lynne xxxx 😘🙏

[Laura009]

I am dreadfully sorry you have lost you Father. Very sad.

Just to answer a few of your questions..

Yes the doctors do inform relatives if the patient is dying.

Yes they will discharge them from hospital if theres nothing more they can do for them as in your Father's case and doctors send out district nurses.

It is tremendously difficult to deal with everything during this awful pandemic but the NHS are still going above and beyond their normal duty and l don't believe any one of the doctors are in any way incompetant.

This is a difficult time for everyone at the moment and tempers raised in many homes, families and situations. I sincerely hope that you will be able to look back with fond memories of your Father's life rather than dwell on the way he lost his life.

Best wishes Laura x

[AJD1310 in reply to Laura009]

Thanks for your reply, I wasn’t going to reply again but I can’t help but point out that the doctors WERE completely incompetent, we have received my dads medical records which show in black and white the catalogue of mistakes made by doctors which we are now formally complaining about!! My dad didn’t know he was dying, the district nurses weren’t visiting because he was dying. It is in his notes that the nurses were there to take blood and no one knew what my dads prognosis was. There is absolutely no urgency on any of his medical notes regarding how gravely ill be was. My dad lay in bed at home wasting away, jaundiced, swollen, confused and barely conscious whilst my mum begged for doctors to come and see him. The only doctors who came out were emergency 111 docs. Both whom were totally incompetent. My dad had been prescribed a ridiculously high dose of steroids due to a chest issue(which is yet another mistake), the steroids had caused him to bleed internally, the amazing doctor that came to see my dad even had in his notes that he suspected an upper GI bleed due to high dose of steroids....what did he do....he gave my dad, who may I add had just vomited large amounts of blood, an injection to stop him being sick and left him and told mum to call if he got worse through the night!! My dad went downhill fast and mum called an ambulance about an hour later. The treatment in hospital is another story, absolutely horrendous!!! My mum and auntie had to camp out at my dads bedside to ensure that my dad was being properly cared for as the level of care was atrocious!! I am not saying that all doctors/nurses are incompetent but I am telling you from first hand experience that not all of them are brilliant. My auntie has been a senior consultant in the NHS for over 30 years and she is disgusted by the way my dad was treated and completely let down by the medical system!

[Hidden]

Good afternoon AJD1310,

So sorry for your loss.

I would suggest you arrange to talk through what happened with the doctors to see if this gives any clarification for you.

Also, may I suggest you contact CRUSE who may help you work through things.

cruse.org.uk/

You can call the nurse led helpline on 0800 652 7330 Mon-Fri 10am-3pm to chat things through.

Take care of yourself,

Trust9

[Centralperk]

I'm soo sorry for your loss. My thoughts & Prayers are sent to you & your family.

[Hidden]

I'm so sorry for your very sad loss and would recommend you speak with your fathers medical team when things have settled down a little! In the meantime my prayers are with you, your family and friends.

Please take care of yourself!

[Janettewhitelaw]

I’m sorry about your dad .if your dad was told he was dying he can tell them not to tel his family .of course you feel angry you know your dad didn’t get the care he was due .your not saying all doctors are incompetent I know what you mean.id family member died before Christmas Alzheimer’s and she was in hospital .twice ts

Amen to another one accident and emergency where she was left in the corridor for five hrs screaming her illness made her cry a lot and was very distressed the nurse accompanying her asked could she be taken in to a side room doctor said know .her attitude to patient sand family was terrable .she never even examined her she’d had urine infection got antibiotics then took unwell again we said we thought ruined infection was back kept saying they’d check but never did she was rushed into hospital with high temperature it’s about six hrs we were told she had urine infection and the screaming was small seizures damaging the brain they had given her antibiotics .then less than 24hrs later they stopped all medication she had sepsis she died four days later .the staff were lovely but she was put in a ward in a corner with curtains drawn and all family sitting round they didn’t have side room this was before the virus startednd you bet I’m angry that doctors treatment first time was horrendous she was neglected I don’t care what they say .how come in less than 4hrs she was dying day before she was laughing they left the urine infection to long .all through her illness she never got right care

I’m not blaming all doctors just one .and the laCk of care from social work was horrendous her brother was looking after her she was sixty one he has a brother with cerebellum palsy to looko he looked after her for five yrs not asking for help then he told them he couldn’t cope they were trying to get funding for seven weeks she was screaming nearly 2Hrs a day pacing up and down shouting all the time and not one doctor came to help him he was left to get on with it .to say I’m angry is mild so I understd how you feel you want answers

If your dad didn’t want you to know they’ve got to respect that but he should have had .McMillan nurses or district nurses coming in at the end .i know the nhs has been brilliant during this virus but that doesn’t mean there’s not lack of care at other times the staff are to

k