Post op depression

[joeburger]

I'm new here and was wondering if it's normal to feel disappointed to have survived through the transplant operation. I am struggling with my emotions of not deserving this new chance of life it should have gone to someone else. Has anybody else gone through this ?

[AyrshireK]

Although I haven't experienced this myself we have many post transplant patients on here who have previously described post-op depression etc. It is hardly surprising, you have been through a hell of a lot, pre-op illness, the wait, the massive operation, now the post op medication regime (steroids in particular commonly cause depression, mood swings etc.) & recovery. Your body and mind have both gone through loads and continue to do so. So, you are not alone in feeling like this.

If you are really struggling your transplant unit will have a clinical psychiatrist on staff who can help you with your mental state post-op. My hubby saw the one at Edinburgh before he went on the t/p list. What you have been through is massive so it does take time to adjust and move on. Just wait, providing you are physically well you have got a super life ahead of you. As for deserving, well you obviously full filled criteria for transplant so you deserve it just as much as the next person.

All the best for the future,

Katie

[moonbeam4]

This is just for Joeburger, I don,t want anyone else to have to slog through it lol. 😂😂😂 !. Great advice there from Katie and I cannot really add to it just a couple of thoughts came to mind whilst reading your post. It sounded to me like you may be experiencing " Survivors Guilt " after all though we all celebrate here when someone is given the gift of a new liver it does obviously mean that somewhere someone else has lost their life and a family is grieving as others rejoice. I must admit sometimes some of the members comments ( not the actual patients ) have caused me to wince, one time someone had a false call ( the liver wasn,t good enough ) and as it was a busy weekend someone replied that maybe they should wait at the Hospital in case another liver came in. Maybe it,s just me but I found the thought profoundly uncomfortable. I know one of my friends found this aspect of her transplant deeply uncomfortable and there was no councelling offered. As Katie suggests you may find this helpfull, my friend did after we persuaded her to ask for it. She also availed herself of a scheme where you can, through the transplant co.ordinator, write to the family of the donor. Initially she didn,t want to but was eventually persuaded and was so pleased she did!. Hearing from the family of the comfort and solace they got from knowing their loved one had helped so many people after their death really helped put her mind at rest, and she found great peace from hearing from the actual family that her donar had wanted tobe a donar. perhaps if you haven,t already, then writing to your donors family may help you. If the feelings of depression persist then definitely seek out councelling. As for you not being deserving of a new liver, you are as deserving as anyone of this marvelous second chance, which is what your donor also wanted, anyway, the choice was out of your hands made by experts who chose you for good reason. It was meant tobe. 😊 Another thing that occurred to me ( sorry this is so long! ) Is that having a general anaesthetic is well known to cause depression in some people. You may benefit from anti depressants which is something you obviously need to speak to your Doctor about. Anyway love, you are certainly not alone, please don,t be afraid to ask for help, you will get over this period, hang on in there🌷🌹🌻☺

[Isabelle2]

As a transplant recipient I get completely what you are saying. I felt the same way. Now over 2 years later I still take antidepressants and apparently suffer from PTSD but I see someone and am much happier than I was about 6 months post.

I’d suggest you get help and remember as Katie said you met the criteria so you had the right to a transplant.

I do some volunteering having realised how much I cost health service for my operation and also how much I cost monthly in immunosuppresseurs. It salves my conscience and has given me much more confidence, something which was knocked when ill.

We were given a wonderful second lease of life. It’s very easy to feel guilty about it but we should learn to embrace it and live it to the full.

Good luck

Izzy xx

[joeburger in reply to Isabelle2]

I tried anti-depressants and my consultant stopped them . My doctor says it's normal to feel like this after major surgery so do the consultants but they offer no help. My transplant was due to alcohol abuse when in a shit relationship. I have gone through hell I was so poorly the nurses at hospital didn't expect me to survive,nearly died twice because of fluid on my lung. Because I wanted to die and I had prepared myself for it I wasn't afraid. Now I seem to be in a deep hole and no way out I have been so close to having a drink but something inside stopped me there must be a little bit of strength left in there somewhere. Talking on line to You, Moonbeam & Katie has really helped me no end take care of yourself xx

[Hope-feb3-2017 in reply to Isabelle2]

Hi Joeburher

I am exactly like Isabell2. I am approaching 3 years post feb 3rd/ 2017. And I still struggle with PTSD and as well take antidepressants as well. I believe you need to talk with some on this as it is absolutely normal. Once you here it from a professional you will understand all of these over whelming feelings are normal and you both can start to work through them.

I know it sounds like a lot but once you start talking I promise you will start to feel better.

Wishing the best of health moving forward. Always here to answer any questions you may have. Be well. ❤️💜

[davianne]

Hi Joe,

Although I'm not a transplant recipient, I think I can empathise with your depression.

You fully deserve the gift you have received, no reason to feel guilty or have negative thoughts..........you are very lucky.

You have been given a new start in life, and you should grasp it with both hands.

Your donor and their family, will be heartened by you enjoying your new healthy life.

Please try to think positively. Maybe you could see your GP, and get referred for treatment.

Chin up,

David

[jazzjam]

I have no personal experience but reading your thoughts I would think this is fairly normal especially as you say it was through alcohol as I know if it comes to it, I would feel the same. You think it’s your fault in the first place. I think everyone deserves a second chance and that is what you have been given from a donor and their family who will be hoping and wishing you are well, they have improved your life and you will live it to the full. It’s a lot to carry on top of how I’ll you have been and have been used to feeling. Are there any support groups you can join in your area? Maybe see your GP rather then consultant to be referred for one to one therapy. Is there somewhere within the hospital environment where you can volunteer? This could help lift you mood and you will maybe feel like you are giving something back. All the best to you and don’t be so hard on yourself 🌻

[ballie52]

Hi joe,

My husband has had 3 liver transplants and suffered from depression soon after the last one..I think a lot of people that go through the ordeal of a transplant and all that it entails have so much emotional stress afterwards!

I actually feel in most people this can be a normal feeling after such an operation.

My husband did get support from the hospital and was put on a short course of antidepressants for while.

With support from me and other family members he started to feel much better in himself!

Try and get help if you can for some counselling it definitely helps to talk about all these emotions and believe me it does get better.X