Well I’m writing this in absolute disbelief and from a severe bout of anxiety and depression. My dad is currently sitting at home starving himself to death, severe confusion and what I should imagine about to go into a coma. The neighbour is going to call an ambulance as I physically unable to be near him at the moment without getting myself hospitalised. I’ve had weeks of phone calls begging pleading with someone to help. Got in contact with social services yesterday hysterical and they said they’d have an emergency meeting today and all they did was send some pads his been waiting for months for and even though doctor said r needs 24/7 care there still questioning. Doctor went out yesterday said he should go into hospital but because of his confusion he denied. He doesn’t know what’s going on !!! Nobody phoned me to let me know. Ive done all I can now !!! Ive got to step back and let them realise how ill he is otherwise I’m going to end up in a psych ward !!! I cannot believe what this country has turned in to it’s a bloody disgrace !!! Xxx
JoX
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Bubbles201271
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So many hurdles & the care package takes to long to be implemented in some cases a bit late. Hope you get sorted ssoner though.
Hi Jo. So sorry to hear what your dad is going through and also the anguish that you are going through. You are doing the right thing in taking a step back and getting him hospitalised.
Obviously in his confusion he doesn't realise how ill he is and if he refuses help then no one can force him without special intervention.
If you are not there for him to lean on when the ambulance arrives then he is more likely to agree to going in to hospital. Once there he will get the treatment that he so badly needs and before they let him out of hospital, if it is seen that he cannot look after himself, then there will be a care package put in place for when he goes home.
My wife nursed her mother with cancer of the oesophagus. She moved in with her mother because her mother couldn't be left on her own in that last six months as the cancer had started affecting her brain.
She looked after her and got her to all appointments on her own because it was presumed by the Specialists/nurses/doctors involved that she would do that and also, although ill, her mother was very capable of using emotional blackmail to ensure that she didn't have to go into a hospice or have home care.
I was at that time running a full time business and looking after our young son and so I couldn't be a great help.
My wife went through a very stressful time and the only help she had was towards the last few weeks of her mothers life when district nurses called each day to put the pain killing drugs in her mothers Syringe driver.
It took my wife a long time to get over the whole very stressful experience.
What I'm trying to say here (and probably not very well!) is that if you are very available to be there and help your dad then there is less pressure on the NHS to put help or care in place. Also it gives your dad the opportunity to turn down any help or treatment he should be receiving.
I hope that he agrees to go into hospital for his sake and for yours.
Alf we had exact same problem with wife’s mother. The social services saw us and thought we were able to support all the time and so gave a very low level of care. It wasn’t until we forcibly said we couldn’t cope any more that she got put in a Nursing home and got excellent care. But of course by then it was so late she died after three weeks. You really do have to be stern with social services unfortunately 👎🏻
Miles
Hi
I'm so sorry you are going through such a terrible time. My heart goes out to you . You are doing the right thing. A friend of mine had to do exactly the same thing to get the help her Mum and herself so badly needed. With all my love Lynne xxxx
I'm so so sorry to hear of your sad situation. I hope your Dad does get sent into hospital, for your sake as well as his. Unfortunately, social services let people down too often. Does his GP know that he has HE, and if so why won't he admit him to hospital?
I think the only way is to call 999, and tell the paramedics of his medical condition and particularly his HE, and that they cannot trust what he says.
You are right, you must step back for your own health's sake.
Once he gets admitted, you can negotiate with the hospital, for them to sort out a full care package for him before they try to discharge him.
I hope and pray that you get this dreadful situation sorted out very soon, for both your sakes.
Well they discharged him this morning without my knowledge and dumped him at home. I give up now I don’t think HE is in anyone’s vocabulary. Social services will be contacted Monday I can’t do anymore I’m having a nervous breakdown !!!!
I think you should complain to PALS. Surely some of the nurses, doctors, or your GP must have seen his HE events. I know it's not a full time thing, I get bad days where I forget what I'm saying in mid sentence, but maybe they just think it's old age. Are you his registered carer? If so, then they must inform you of his discharge before actually doing it. Has his Hepatologist tested him for HE?. because once it is diagnosed, they must consider it with regard to his treatment and placement. Do you have any family support to help share your Dad's Care?
You must take care of your own wellbeing, as well as your Dad's.
Just been reading what you and your Dad are going through. You must be going out of your mind with one thing and another.
You're right about this Country.
It is a bloody disgrace. To dump your Dad at home like that is so uncaring and unprofessional and what if he had a Fall.
What would their excuse be then, HUH.I really can't understand WHY. With your Dad being so confused and in obvious need of help they could leave him there like that Even if he said he didn't want to go to Hospital, he should never ever have been left alone like that .
Some people go on about the pressure on the NHS
Yet BILLIONS of Pounds are being spent on sending men and rockets up to the Moon etc. What the hell for.
Why don't they use the money to help the people in this World.???.
Bugger all these Scientists sending all these things up into the Sky. Some of them break up when they are up in the Sky and the debris falls back down into the Earth, which we breathe in.
All the People that lost their lives during the war protecting this Country.
And for WHAT. BLESS THEM.
Oh I could go on and on about it all.
I hope something is worked out properly for your Dad .It's just not bloody fair.
It's bad enough when we get older and are in pain. We don't need all this SHITE I had better go now, im getting so wound up thinking of how you are trying to deal with it all. STAY STRONG FOR
BOTH YOU AND YOUR DAD.
Will be thinking of you both
Let me know how you get on with it all . .🤞 Fingers crossed for Good Luck
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